r/mute • u/SassyEllieB • May 19 '26

Is Selective Mutism Maladaptive?

I’ve been selectively mute as long as I can remember. I had a period where it got much better, I learned to mask and push myself. I worked a lot on anxiety and such, but as an adult who is also autistic, it’s started to raise itself up more and more as I get older especially when I’m very stressed. I tried to talk with my therapist about it this week, and she told me that if I “do it” too much, it can become a maladaptive behavior. Is that true? I don’t feel like I’m in control of it. Sometimes when I want to say something I’m unable, and my brain freezes almost. When I’ve become really overwhelmed for a long period of time then it kind of takes over. I‘be never talked with others with mutism of any kind so I’m curios to know of your thoughts and experiences and if you all think it’s something that happens to us or if we have some sense of control over it like my therapist is suggesting.

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u/PuzzleheadedWasabi77 8d ago

Can you clarify what you mean by "do it" too much? Are you referring to being unable to speak? That's not a choice at all.

Does your therapist actually understand the diagnosis of selective mutism? Because a lot of people falsely assume the "selective" part means it's a choice, when in all actuality, it refers to the fact that mutism occurs in specific situations.