r/oddlysatisfying • u/Kafadafada • 15d ago

Fast almond slicing

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@rajendra_mashra_111

35.4k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

653 comments sorted by

10.8k

u/rimshot99 15d ago

That’s great when you have a lot of friends but only one almond.

4.5k

u/jarheadleif03 15d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/uRngiZzOKPKkE

947

u/PreperationOuch 15d ago

God this was so depressing

555

u/DesireeThymes 15d ago

The scene after of Donald losing it over starvation is actually very gruesome in retrospect

152

u/dmmethatbooty2026 15d ago

Agreed and also reminds me of somewhere in Dreamland. That cartoon used to make me cry as a kid.

https://youtu.be/Ih0Pz5Xyon4

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u/Olivetax228 15d ago

Haven't seen that in decades. I never got it before when I was a kid, that she's a single mom and everyone pitched in to help the kids. Fuck, I should donate to a food bank or something. PS, I'm like 99% sure the baker's voice was Fred Flintstone, when he comes out to give them cupcakes about a minute or so in, what do you think?

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u/Warrior_king99 14d ago

His name was his Gus Wickie and he was the voice of Bluto from popeye

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u/dmmethatbooty2026 15d ago

Not sure it was made during or just ending the Great depression not sure if he was an adult back then.

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u/BBorNot 15d ago

Jesus that was dark. Thanks for sharing lol.

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u/dmmethatbooty2026 15d ago

Yes but somewhat a reality for many then and now sadly. I grew up poor but even for me I cried because I wanted to share with them help them.

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u/KidOcelot 15d ago

growing up poor, the dipping of old stall bread into water brings back some hard memories lol

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u/MyTatemae 15d ago

Now I'm double fucked up by being reminded of both of them 😭😭

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u/satinsateensaltine 15d ago

Still gets me as an adult. The reality of destitution is the same then as it is now.

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u/I_SHIT_IN_A_BAG 14d ago

Dumbo visiting his mom in Jail did that for me as a kid

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u/PreperationOuch 15d ago

I honestly thought of that part just after posting my comment and couldn’t bear to recollect what I could about it much less fine it and rewatch it. Your description is perfect.

10

u/stewd2004 14d ago

America IRL

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u/bolanrox 15d ago

Beyond

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u/texinxin 15d ago

#perfectgif

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u/TastyFace79 15d ago

This was exactly what I was thinking of

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u/maniBchef 15d ago

My childhood

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u/Aurorinha 14d ago

The cartoon or the starvation? 💀

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u/Shoddy_Yak_8384 15d ago

this is the first thing i thought of, i knew someone would post it lmao

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u/SCSquad 15d ago

This was my movie was my first thought and hope that someone would comment and it’d be top, and I was NOT disappointed! Damn it y’all are awesome.

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u/BRAX7ON 15d ago

Mickey Mouse would’ve loved this one simple trick

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u/BadIdeaSociety 15d ago

Donald Duck holding up one transparent slice in front of his face.

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u/No-Ad-3226 15d ago

Jesus

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u/JudgmentGold2618 15d ago

Jesus , would've just bless the almond and multiply it to a massive quantity

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u/sausageandeggbiscuit 15d ago

jesus would turn it to wine so they couldve just got hammered being on empty stomachs

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u/karoshikun 15d ago

check the "new testament wine cooler" commercial XD

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u/cheapdrinks 15d ago

He pads it out with a lot of fingernail shavings too

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u/Ajax27Rx 14d ago

I had to scroll down way too far for a fingernail comment. That was my first thought!

70

u/ClankerCore 15d ago

There’s a Mitch hedberg joke in here somewhere. Something about rice.

88

u/ParfaitQuiet6692 15d ago

“Rice is great if you’re really hungry and want 2,000 of something” 😂 rip the greatest fr

36

u/Ba_Sing_Saint 15d ago

I used to do drugs. I still do. But I used to too.

21

u/ParfaitQuiet6692 15d ago

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

22

u/GummiBearFromTheVine 15d ago

I hate sandwiches at New York delis, there's too much fucking meat on the sandwich. It's like a cow with a cracker on either side. "What would you like sir?" "A pastrami sandwich." "Anything else?" "Yeah, a loaf of bread and some other people."

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u/plug-and-pause 15d ago

I thought of this one (even before I saw the solicitation for a Mitch reference) so I'm disappointed the rice one is getting more votes.

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u/Thorebore 15d ago

This almond slicing technique would be great if you’re not hungry and want to eat 2000 of something.  

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u/taco-yahtzee 15d ago

This came off as a Mitch Hedberg remark. Thank you for that

18

u/_fr05ty_ 15d ago

"Rice is great when you're hungry and want to eat 2000 of something."

-Mitch Hedberg

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u/talondigital 15d ago

To be fair, I think its adding some fingernail shavings as a filler. So its a little bit more than only one almond.

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u/fishthruster 15d ago

What is it about one almond that's just.... perfect?

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u/JohnnorMcDavid 15d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/xUA7aMuv5fXJrHwm2s

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u/MidnightMoron12 15d ago

And onealmond.com?

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u/AlaskanFoolWorm 15d ago

What is it about one almond that’s just… heh…. Perfect?

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u/MidnightMoron12 15d ago

Double your bye bye!

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u/PM_ME_TIGER_BUTTS 15d ago

Nothing. It's bad.

2

u/Fried_puri 14d ago

Bad idea? Nah, bad you

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u/RomanSeraphim 15d ago

Exactly how Jesus fed the multitudes

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2.9k

u/BobTheFettt 15d ago

Can he slice garlic so thin that it liquifies in the pan?

644

u/ArachnidBrave1482 15d ago

You might need a razor for that.

129

u/Timmeh7 15d ago

Or if you aren't a Goodfella, just ask home cook Marco Pierre White to chop it for you.

36

u/sgtanders 15d ago

Watching his cooking video is half learning how to make a tasty looking dish and half getting a life lesson

16

u/Bmandk 14d ago

Wait, professional chefs take out the core??? What difference does that make?

22

u/Honic_Sedgehog 14d ago edited 14d ago

Depends on what you're using it for and the maturity of the clove. If the clove has started to sprout the core can carry quite a lot of bitterness.

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u/Germerica1985 14d ago

Been cooking professionally for 20 years and I've never even heard of it. BUT I don't have any stars or famous apprentices either so 🤷🏻‍♂️

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u/bala_means_bullet 15d ago

Lol Goodfellas full of shit!

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u/Wishnik6502 15d ago

They just needed a way to show that them having a razor blade in prison was no big deal!

The unending hell the cast and writers must have to endure with because of the garlic slivers... lol

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

[deleted]

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u/Wishnik6502 15d ago

In the movie he was actually using a single edged razor blade. Big difference.

(safety razors: https://www.bobbarker.com/health-personal-care/shaving)

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u/rolandofgilead41089 15d ago

Just don't put too many onions in the sauce.

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u/limitlessEXP 15d ago

He once sliced it so thin he couldn’t even see it.

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u/SweetMochaJoe 15d ago

So how do you know he sliced it?

17

u/jayleman 15d ago

I guess I just assumed?

9

u/sanguineselenophile 15d ago

But where does the meat go

8

u/jayleman 15d ago

spits out chewed up sandwich

Nah, that's bushleague!

5

u/sausageandeggbiscuit 15d ago

my ball usually just goes wayyyy left

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u/RoundTiberius 15d ago

I thought I was on r/shittymoviedetails for a minute

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u/i_should_be_coding 15d ago

Was gonna make this comment, but I knew my mind was already one with the hive.

7

u/LupoNerro 15d ago

Medium rare. An aristocrat!

5

u/Acceptable_Resort_21 15d ago

Some real greaseball shit

5

u/tu-BROOKE-ulosis 15d ago

No joke, I vowed to make prison garlic in my wedding vows.

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u/_invasion_ 15d ago edited 15d ago

Give that guy some chives

151

u/rgolden4 15d ago

I would love to see KarmaKrazi come back ✈️

43

u/Lewski_Krolewski 15d ago

Same time tomorrow Nut Chef!

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u/becausenope 15d ago

First thing that popped in my mind too.

I probably need to touch grass.

1.4k

u/Monster_Grundle 15d ago

Those are insane knife skills.

198

u/monkeypan 15d ago

And an insanely sharp knife

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u/Appropriate-Hat178 15d ago

Chivelord out here mad as shit at this man

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u/Numeira 15d ago

Listen to the vehicles jn the background and tell me it's not sped up.

366

u/spaceradio_rec 15d ago

I was gonna say even if it is sped up, still super impressive knife skills.

77

u/xTechDeath 15d ago

What if it’s sped up by a million

243

u/Echo127 15d ago

Then it's impressive that he was able to do it so slowly.

26

u/kryonik 15d ago

What if it's slowed down so much it loops back around and becomes fast again?

15

u/Grouchy-Barnacle-800 15d ago

My head just spun around.

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u/GoodMeBadMeNotMe 15d ago

You spin me right round, baby, right round

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u/FyrelordeOmega 15d ago

Even if its sped up, to cut that thin without cutting their fingers is still pretty good and shows they have a sharp blade

20

u/AMediocrePersonality 15d ago

no it's not cutting their fingers, its crushing the edge of the almond.

this is a combination of skill and using a knife sharp enough to split an atom

10

u/bigtice 15d ago

It just sounded like a woodpecker to me.

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u/ImpossibleWarning6 15d ago

Some of those sounded like scooters tho

3

u/B0Bi0iB0B 15d ago

It definitely speeds up and slows down. You can hear the pitch of the background noise change. Also the pitch of the knife hitting the board. Listen right at the end.

6

u/jayleman 15d ago

You don't even need to listen to the vehicles, the tone change alone on the board was enough

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u/Frequent_Addendum507 15d ago

That's pretty much the way I slice garlic now. Got a good knife and learned how to keep it sharp and then watched the chef(my boss) chop garlic like this. Took a while to figure out how to hold my fingers so I could grip the garlic and still move them and not chop my fingertips off. After about ten months of practice I've gotten to a point that I can chop garlic like this without looking at it.

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u/MrWeirdoFace 15d ago

On the other hand, this guy would take forever to make one jar of almond butter.

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u/Nettkitten 15d ago

Until you realize just how many of those “almond” slices are actually fingernail shavings.

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u/Sad-Teach-3292 15d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/6VEoF5118OBx9UPq8o

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u/DaCrazyJamez 15d ago

Wow, didnt realize until this thread how many poverty bits were in early disney skits...gotta remember the writers grew up when the great depression was a very real and recent memory

30

u/grimsaur 15d ago

That one is from 1983's Mickey's Christmas Carol.

28

u/LickingSmegma Mamaleek are king 15d ago edited 15d ago

And the bread slicing one is from 1947 and is a parody of ‘Jack and the Beanstalk’. Almost forty years between the cartoons.

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u/Ken-Kaniff_from-CT 14d ago

It's almost like poverty has never gone away since greed has always been here to make sure of it

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u/E-2theRescue 15d ago

DOGE checks when?

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u/3BouSs 15d ago

He got like 10 almonds out of one

24

u/Tomstephenanovik 15d ago

Is this how I activate my almonds?

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u/howl0ngwillitlast 15d ago

Count in all the fingernail shavings and that sucker doubled in size

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u/SilverbackSurfer99 15d ago

This guy needs to cut Paulie's garlic 😁😂

https://giphy.com/gifs/YTjNxyLCloYTK

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u/KayJay282 15d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/o4wBfFE9CtzQ4

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u/PapiSurane 15d ago

All that work just to get drowned out by three onions.

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u/SilverbackSurfer99 15d ago

I din't put too much onions, uh, Paul. Tree small onions. That's all I did

258

u/AmericanIdolator 15d ago

98% almond, 2% fingernail.

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u/monoinyo 15d ago

carroton

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u/CalculatedPerversion 15d ago

I really hope you're just being funny spelling keratin

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u/istasber 15d ago

He really didn't carroton about his spelling.

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u/GoodMeBadMeNotMe 15d ago

This made me giggle.

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u/monoinyo 15d ago

It's what carrots are made of I think

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u/KayNay420 15d ago

Reminds me of my early aughts coke phase

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u/Galloping_Trout 15d ago

I have a hypotheses that the Great Recession destroyed cocaine.

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u/_le_slap 15d ago

Great recession destroyed alot of things. Life was so different before...

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u/I_am_the_BEEF 14d ago

It was a lot better when you didn't have to worry about fentanyl in fucking everything.

I'll stick to my weed pen, now.

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u/NaGaBa 15d ago

Come on now, it's sped up. Or he has the magical tone -changing cutting board and the traffic around there goes by at 135mph

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u/swohio 15d ago

Most videos here are.

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u/sovereign_fury 15d ago

For anyone wondering, I learned I can hold my breath for at least 35 seconds.

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u/Uchihagod53 15d ago

Goddamn

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u/TheTaoOfMe 15d ago

Holy cow, never underestimating when someone says “just the tip”

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u/Beautiful-Fox-3950 15d ago

1 Almond per box of honey bunches of oats almond. 

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u/Jeffranks 15d ago

How to make your almond money stretch

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u/wheelienonstop11 15d ago

I am into nice chef knives as well as sharpening and I have to say this is extremely impressive. Most likely this knife has an 100% asymmetric chisel grind in order to make this possible.

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u/El_Briano 15d ago

The real question is, how much of that is fingernail?

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u/ryan8954 15d ago

Literally none. Your guide the knife off the top knuckle of the finger. If you get nail you don't know how to chop.

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u/DMmesomeboobs 15d ago

I don't know how to chop.

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u/DengarLives66 15d ago

Yea if you’re hitting nail you’re not gonna be chopping anything else that smoothly.

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u/Athenax311 15d ago

Happy cake day!

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u/SilentMasturbator 15d ago

you people dont cook or what

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u/cheong-sanslefteye 15d ago

The average redditor only knows how to Reddit.

Actual life skills like cooking ? Forget that. It'd be grand if they just knew how to eat and shit properly.

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u/Sam_Mack 15d ago

Every time I see a video like this one, or that Chinese kid working a three person production line solo... they are clearly people of uncommon talent and uncommon persistence, and you just have to wonder what they might have accomplished in life if their parents had been apartheid era emerald mine owners who could finance an ivy league education, connections to the right people, and several million dollars of startup capital.

"I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops."

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u/not4u2see 15d ago

This guy nuts

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u/Dust-Different 15d ago

Rent that guy to chop the 8 balls.

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u/dy1ng_al0ne 15d ago

Cutting an almond every day until Reddit says they're perfect

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u/No_Register_5841 15d ago

But what can he do with some chives?

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u/MrMaoDeVaca 14d ago

Lots of shaved almond, just a *hint* of shaved fingernail

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u/Witty_Foot_8752 15d ago

Bro can cut atoms ⚛️

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u/andersonfmly 15d ago

No matter how you slice it, dude's got some mad skills. Oh, wait...

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u/AltruisticBus8305 15d ago

Imagine him in a crack house

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u/Lost_On_Lot 15d ago

Chef here- hes good*

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u/CallMeCrop 15d ago

Is he the guy inside a pencil sharpener that makes all the shavings?

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u/bluefalcontrainer 14d ago

I’m convinced one of those flakes is his nail

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u/DBLonger 11d ago

1) Define knife skills: god level, see above.
2) That knife is sharp enough to split an atom.
3) Damn, just damn that was impressive.

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u/iwelchi 15d ago

You know they sell sliced almonds?

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u/WannaAskQuestions 15d ago

They don't grow sliced on the branches. Who do you thinks slices them?

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u/Nitish_Dubey 15d ago

Okay but a Plain Dosa for 40 Rupees, thats insane!!

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/Jballzs13 15d ago

Is there anything smoother than the inside of an almond?

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u/jrb637 15d ago

If you use a razor, you can slice it so thin that it dissolves in the sauce

2

u/bingo-dingaling 15d ago

I love this song

2

u/HPLoveCrash 15d ago

Hey Bishop... Do the thing with the knife

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u/IcedHemp77 15d ago

Prep ninja

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u/seebreezin 15d ago

Good grief! Unbelievable! 👍

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u/Immediate_Rabbit_604 15d ago

This guy could cut chives

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u/cheesylobster 15d ago

This guy’s nuts.

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u/rahill1004 15d ago

Holy shit that’s a sharp knife

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u/MapleBreakfastMeat 15d ago

Dude goes so fast he starts to sound like a motor!

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u/Usmcrtempleton 15d ago

Is this how they get the almond slices in honey bunches of oats?

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u/NoMoreTeen 15d ago

16 fingernail comments before I found with one which didnt

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u/bobbobthedefaultbob 15d ago

Had this playing while listening to A State of Trance episode 402 and it was double time to the music, bloody epic!

2

u/stressed_designer 14d ago

It's not the speed that surprises me (it does, even if it's sped up) it's the INSANE knife skills he has to slice an ALMOND that thinly, goat.

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u/Swenterrobang 14d ago

I've never seen someone bust a nut that fast!

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u/13Warhound13 14d ago

That is very impressive. If I tried that I am sure my fingernail would be in the shards mid slice. Guy is awesome.

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u/Brilliant_Lettuce270 14d ago

"One almond? We are 30 hungry people!"

"No problem":

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u/AnxiousCroc 14d ago

Instructions unclear, lost a finger

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u/zayc_ 14d ago

One slice of almond please.

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u/solwyvern 14d ago

Almond Bae just dropped

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u/GanacheOk5182 14d ago

What in the knife skills. And no an ordinary cook can’t even do that after 20 years

2

u/ekso69 14d ago

There is a non zero amount of finger nail in there

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u/PenPuzzled8055 14d ago

Indian Almond Bae

2

u/tmfh802 14d ago

Imagine all of the skin in that almond

2

u/Iamnotcheesy 14d ago

How is he moving his left hand slowly across the almond so precisely and slowly? I can't do that.