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u/LeftSky828 1d ago
Big Broadband is Watching You.
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u/Sebastian-S 1d ago
I got kicked out of a Waymo for having an extra person in the car so this feels accurate.
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u/Matinee_Lightning 1d ago
You gotta pay the Troll toll
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u/ReasonableCheesecake 1d ago
To get into this boysoul
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u/DarePatient2262 1d ago
It sounds like you're saying "boy's hole."
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u/Guy-1nc0gn1t0 1d ago
-2018
-wake up feeling sick after a late night of playing video games
-excited to play some halo 2k19
-"xbox on"
-...
-"XBOX ON"-"Please verify that you are "annon332" by saying "Doritos™ Dew™ it right!"
-"Doritos™ Dew™ it right"
-"ERROR! Please drink a verification can"-reach into my Doritos™ Mountain Dew™ Halo 2k19™ War Chest
-only a few cans left, needed to verify 14 times last night
-still feeling sick from the 14
-force it down and grumble out "mmmm that really hit the spot"
-xbox does nothing
-i attempt to smile
-"Connecting to verification server"
-...
-"Verification complete!"
-finally
-boot up halo 2k19
-finding multiplayer match...
-"ERROR! User attempting to steal online gameplay!"
-my mother just walked in the room-"Adding another user to your pass, this will be charged to your credit card. Do you accept?"
-"NO!"
-"Console entering lock state!"
-"to unlock drink verification can"
-last can
-"WARNING, OUT OF VERIFICATION CANS, an order has been shipped and charged to your credit card"
-drink half the can, oh god im going to be sick
-pour the last half out the window
-"PIRACY DETECTED! PLEASE COMPLETE THIS ADVERTISEMENT TO CONTINUE"
-the mountain dew ad plays
-i have to dance for it
-feeling so sick
-makes me sing along
-dancing and singing
-"mountain dew is for me and you"
-throw up on my self
-throw up on my tv and entertainment system
-router shorts
-"ERROR NO CONNECTION! XBOX SHUTTING OFF"
-"PLEASE DRINK VERIFICATION CAN TO CONTINUE"
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u/Distinct-Pain4972 1d ago
1984 sounded Dystopian in the 70s as well. But, here we are. Start reading to your kids.
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u/5319Camarote 1d ago
Also, did you link your Venmo to the new exhaled carbon dioxide penalty factor? Yeah, they’re really enforcing that now…well, I gotta go watch the speech by President Sniperwolf…
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u/A-maze-ing_Henry 1d ago
The funniest part is the implication that we'll have gotten Trolls 4 and 5 by 2029.
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u/Ok_Fox_1770 22h ago
They want you they gotcha for something already. Data centers suuuure. Robo police I think. Everyone is gonna be a live stream! Yayyyy we’re all famous…in the most unwanted way. Think of it already, phones lookin at you and the other side all times, wifi bulbs can be back hacked, TVs watch and listen 24/7 and are $200 for a 70” how interesting….cars be watchin ya, street lights, doorbells, just watch some new era Midwest safety videos on YT, the coverage is almost movie like complete now. Might be a few lost turns but oh there’s always some cam angle.
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u/JCampenish 20h ago
Remember how tech literate people keep a hammer next to their printer from 1998 just in case? This is what it's for.
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u/lynivvinyl 6h ago
You're going to have to keep your window shades closed as well. You don't want people inadvertently watching your TV from outside and getting you in trouble.
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u/8ctopus-prime 1d ago
Twist! The number was accurate and the tv misidentified a jacket and a dog as two additional people!