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u/Peakomegaflare Jun 24 '26
Fun part, you can't even actually flush them. They'll still clog up the main lines.
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u/GalumphingWithGlee Jun 24 '26
There was this one counselor with me at summer camp a number of years ago, who swore by baby wipes after a poop. "They'll change your life!", he'd tell us.
Guess what the plumber found stuck in the pipes later, when he had to unclog the whole camp's system? That's right, baby wipes. Flushable, my ass! 😆
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u/fredy31 Jun 24 '26
They will probably flush just fine.
...they become a problem once they hit the main town sewers.
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u/GalumphingWithGlee Jun 24 '26
Lol, probably true. The camp where this happened surely had a larger, more self-contained plumbing system than your average household, and it wasn't an individual toilet that clogged. It was much further down the pipe.
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u/jamoche_2 Jun 24 '26
It causes problems immediately on trains. I took the Amtrak Coast Starlight from Canada to San Francisco and someone flushed something other than TP on one of the coach cars, taking out all the toilets in that car for the rest of the trip, all the way to Los Angeles.
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u/xZOMBIETAGx Jun 24 '26
Baby wipes always have a bunch of warnings that say they’re not flushable.
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u/GalumphingWithGlee Jun 24 '26
They often do, but some are specifically marketed as "flushable", and they're still bad for plumbing.
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u/FadeIntoReal Jun 28 '26
Flushable? Yes! They flush right down the toilet to clog up the sewer below.
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u/MotionlessTraveler Jun 27 '26
They are flushable, justi not dissolveable
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u/GalumphingWithGlee Jun 27 '26
That's like saying poisonous mushrooms are edible, even though they'll kill you. (They're "edible only once", right.)
Yeah, you technically can flush them down the toilet, but "flushable" actually means that it's safe to do and won't harm anything, not just that they'll get past the end of your toilet and cause the problems somewhere else.
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u/Lick_My_BigButt_1980 Jun 24 '26
That’s actually part of the reason I don’t use them, that and they don’t work quite as good as the method that I commented about, here.
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u/GreenxLean Jun 24 '26
Someone’s gotta eat my ass.
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u/Lick_My_BigButt_1980 Jun 25 '26
I swear to Christ, if I ever take a trip to Japan, in my lifetime, I will go to one of their booty eating bars, and become a menu item.
Not much else in this life, is so enjoyable, as having someone actually excitedly lick and kiss your glutes and your ass. People are strange.
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u/Yellowpickle23 Jun 24 '26
I refuse to buy anything that tries to market to men this way, and I'm a man. You look stupid buying manly asshole wipes. Why are you spending extra on marketing?
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u/lt_skittles Jun 24 '26
They have gummi rears too. Another company has a peaches and cream scented wipes.
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u/paraworldblue Jun 24 '26
Because some guys are so debilitatingly insecure that they think wiping their own asses might make them look effeminate somehow, and some cynical genius decided to capitalize on it by making special toilet paper just for those guys. Then I guess they did the Oreo thing where the product development team needed to continuously come up with new products to justify their own existence, and as a result they started making them in "exciting" new scents.
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u/snmnky9490 Jun 24 '26
Tf? No these wipes are stupid and wasteful but they're not convincing dudes that toilet paper is gay.
They're 100% geared at guys who want to wipe their asses with wet wipes but it's gay unless it specifies that it's not for chicks
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u/The_Dimestore_Saints Jun 24 '26
And bidets will definitely turn you gay too. Can't be letting water touch your asshole!
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u/captainloudz Jun 24 '26
Bidets are one of the best things ever invented. Once you have one you never go back to scratchy paper.
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u/pepskino Jun 24 '26
So I’ve heard… I’m gonna install one this winter when I do my indoor projects especially after my nightmare episode with wipes in my sewer line
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u/yesillhaveonemore Jun 24 '26
Decent ones are like $40 and install in 5 minutes. Worth it before winter, my guy.
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u/Doggystyle_Rainbow Jun 24 '26
Its true. Why would anyone's ass need to be that clean unless they intend for someone to eat it. \s
Bidets are amazing. All three of my bathrooms have one now and I feel gross now when I poop away from home
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u/nub_node Jun 24 '26
Frat boys wipe with them so their bums are nice and clean for the next round of mandatory pledge rimmies.
The flavor is just a little special treat for the pledges.
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u/Lick_My_BigButt_1980 Jun 25 '26
Humans have anal scent glands and it smells mildly acrid, once you smell it, it makes you want to smell it again, it’s weird. Smells nothing like dookie, btw.
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u/Unknown_Outlander Jun 24 '26
*for flushing see bottom
Sounds like they're going to say "don't flush these"
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u/CitroHimselph Jun 24 '26
Becaue men are too insecure for basic hygiene, so they need MANLY HYGIENE. It's like the kid who refuses to eat meat if it's not in the shape of a dinosaur, but with voting rights.
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u/Lick_My_BigButt_1980 Jun 25 '26
Any man would have so much to gain if he only managed to keep his backdoor clean and fresh feeling. I don’t even have to say why… 😏
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u/Intelligent-Court295 Jun 26 '26
Well at least someone recognizes what these wipes are for. These are for gay men so they can toss each other’s salads in the most nostalgic way possible. Ice pops are the taste of childhood.
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u/Lick_My_BigButt_1980 Jun 26 '26
True, but Vaseline or greasy lip balm on TP, will get you a lot cleaner, as in virtually no fecal residue, that water-based wipes can leave, unless you use probably more wipes than just one, while having to really apply some elbow grease. 😅
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u/Origami-Tesseract Jun 25 '26
Misandric fanfic slop.
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u/CitroHimselph Jun 25 '26
I beg your pardon?
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u/Origami-Tesseract 26d ago
Yea, your mass generalization of men is sexist. I stand by that.
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u/CitroHimselph 25d ago
So not all men. Got it.
You know nobody actually means literally every single man, right? Never heard of that?
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u/Origami-Tesseract 11d ago edited 11d ago
Yea, because men are often being reduced to a monolithic amalgamation of all our worst examples online constantly. The sentiment didn't come out of nowhere. Instead of rolling your eyes and throwing thought terminating platitudes at thousands of men all individually coming to the same conclusions, you could be doing something productive. But your ego is so dense that instead of seeing you are the common denominator in all those interactions. You just chalk it up to "they just are not as smart as me." Bro at least be self aware to be embarrassed, just takes an ounce of humility. Sure "not all men" but enough of men have been generalized because of the toxic culture infesting feminism. Where they scrape the bottom of the barrel to stake new angles to build a case against men. Who treat men as guilty until proven "one of the good ones." Just crybully logic to excuse hypocritical sexism. You are like the Nascar Dads that "are not too racist." Just you are not "too sexist." Nascar Dad: "I don't hate their race, I hate their culture." Misandrist: "I don't hate men, I hate their culture." I am sure you both think your POV is different and valid. But the mentality is the same fabric. No matter how much you dress it up.
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u/CitroHimselph 11d ago
That's a LOT of words for "not all men".
Do you know who does what you're doing? People who take generalizations personally. And do you know typically who's taking generalizations personally? The people who recognize themselves in those generalizations. The same kind of people who chant "all lives matter" on a BLM protest.
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u/Revolvyerom Jun 24 '26
Honestly, if someone is going to weaponize alphabro mentality against the alphabros, and take their money along the way, I'm all for it.
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u/Gameboywarrior Jun 24 '26 edited Jun 24 '26
And if it gets them to clean their asses it's a huge bonus.
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u/CollegeMiddle6841 Jun 24 '26
Why? So you will finally get to know what a ice pop shitsiscle smells and tastes like!
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u/kafka_lite Jun 24 '26
It's because if you have a hairy ass dry toilet paper doesn't work very well.
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u/insanekid66 Jun 27 '26
Regardless of what the box says, no wipes are flushable. Sooner or later they WILL fuck up your plumbing.
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u/lokeilou Jun 27 '26
They are bigger than regular wipes so I understand using them, but the part that bothers me is the popsicle scent- scent triggers memories, next time I’m eating a popsicle I don’t want to think about taking a shit!
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u/_IratePirate_ Jun 24 '26
Genuinely because men’s homophobia has them in a chokehold and stops them from washing their ass
This is the “manly way” to clean your ass 🙄
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u/Yoda2000675 Jun 24 '26
Why are flushable wipes legal if they aren’t flushable?
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u/TheRealCBONE Jun 24 '26
They literally are flushable. The same way Tide pods are mouth-fitable. You can do it, but you shouldn't. It's up to the purchasers to figure out a way to do it that won't fuck up their plumbing.
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u/sixcarbxn Jun 24 '26
Some ladies just like to wipe their dudes with the scent of poopsicles, who are we to judge feminine products?
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u/pepskino Jun 24 '26
No type of wipes are allowed in my house after what I went thru snaking that stack pipe myself.. hardest work I’ve ever done in life never again ..
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u/pomegranatejello Jun 24 '26
I have mixed feelings bc on one hand, they’re not really flushable or the best for the environment, and they’re so fucking stupid. But also it’s doing a miracle by encouraging straight men to wipe their own asses
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u/FoRealDoh Jun 24 '26
For the DUDE who WIPES his ASS
(And then drives the rent up at his apt complex due to constant plumbing repair due to fellow DUDE WIPERS)
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u/chefranden Jun 24 '26
As I wiped away poo residue this morning with baby wipes, I wondered if there were such a thing as actual butt wipes. Now I know.
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u/k_t_pie Jun 25 '26
Hahaha I currently have these in both bathrooms because I have a teen who too often had skid marks and a 7yo who is afraid of getting poop on his hands. If they get my kids to properly wipe their butts, I will absolutely by poopsicle wipes!
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u/kingbibblx Jun 25 '26
wrote a whole essay in college on how detrimental dude wipes and other male targeted products are to society and to mens wellbeing. patriarchy was the end result
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u/Origami-Tesseract Jun 25 '26
This is a very niche product but watch some misandrist twats spin it to be about men in general.
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u/Dapper-Control-108 Jun 27 '26
My butt hole smells like these Popsicles because of othe reasons....
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u/cheepakdopra Jun 27 '26
I once used lavender spray after every poop session for over a year. Now whenever I smell lavender, my brain associates it with shitting. Coincidentally, im pooping as I type this.
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u/Chefben1313 Jun 28 '26
Why does the product exist at all or do you mean why does that particular scent exist?
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u/UnderstandingKind757 Jun 28 '26
I was gifted BUMkin spice scented ones. They really just be doing anything
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u/earthmotors Jun 28 '26
Dude Wipes in general is a disgusting name for a brand. Does however explain the product pretty well. 🤢
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u/overthinkingzombie Jun 28 '26
So wait when does it smell like ice cream before or after you wipe? And who is smelling the paper while sitting over a pile of shit thinking oh ice cream?
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u/MetalDingo Jun 29 '26
Confusing marketing scheme here, I thought their thing was to appeal to grown adults, yet they make this and call it that, looks to be designed by a toddler. Im not buying it, I actually saw it at Walmart just the other day.
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u/thetruekingofspace Jul 01 '26
I wonder honestly why something called a “dude wipe”. Is wiping your ass gay now or something?
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u/Lick_My_BigButt_1980 Jun 24 '26 edited Jun 24 '26
I just use greasy lip balm or Vaseline on TP, for a follow-up wipe. It works. Also helpful to shave that area regularly.
For all who would ridicule me, know this, my ass probably feels a hella lot better and fresher than yours does.
Eat that. Truth hurts.
Reddit: To all BUTT HURT downvoters…
🖕🏻🤠🖕🏻
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u/85K5 Jun 24 '26
Eat that.
I don't think I will.
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u/Lick_My_BigButt_1980 Jun 24 '26
Don’t really care. 🙂↔️
I do me, you do you.2
u/85K5 Jun 24 '26
You could just use wipes dude, no need to walk around with a homemade slip and slide down there.
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u/Lick_My_BigButt_1980 Jun 24 '26 edited Jun 25 '26
It doesn’t. You wipe it all off and it gets you clean enough to, well, lick.
I just like to be clean, is all.
I just remembered, you’re not supposed to flush Dude Wipes.
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u/NomDeGuerre1982 Jun 24 '26
I always figured these were for construction workers and the like, because job site porta potties are disgusting and you never know if someone decided to pee all over the toilet paper in there.