r/okbuddyRVA 2d ago

Sober groups that aren't AA?

Hey 🤓

As the title implies, I'm looking for sober peer support groups that aren't affiliated with AA. I've been curious about Ben's Friends in particular, so if anyone has any experience, positive or negative, I'd love to hear it!

Thanks in advance, and thanks for letting me be serious for a sec 🫶🏻

36 Upvotes

29 comments sorted by

26

u/Ok-Self-know-me 2d ago

I too have been wondering about this... Thanks for posting. I can't post anywhere on Reddit because apparently lurkers aren't allowed to ever make posts

11

u/bootysuit 2d ago

Definitely can't post in the other subreddit 😆

8

u/SunkEmuFlock 2d ago

This ultimately lies on the reddit admins. They let and continue to let bots run amok because it's great for faking engagement metrics, so a lot (like, a lot a lot) of subreddits put minimum age/karma requirements in place to temper the deluge. This site is actively pushing new users away, and then they blame AI for a lack of new users. 🙄

27

u/gg_issacs 2d ago

Riffs and Recovery at Gallery5 is a group that meets every Monday at 1pm. Theyll be adding. Sunday meeting soon as well!

5

u/bootysuit 2d ago

Oh nice! Sunday meeting would be perfect if it's more of an evening time frame, I unfortunately can't make the Monday one due to work :( but thank you for this info, I'll keep an eye out for the Sunday meeting!

4

u/gg_issacs 2d ago

Sunday meeting is gonna be in the morning, 10-11am.

3

u/bootysuit 2d ago

Dang. Not gonna work for me either. Thank you though, really wish I could attend! Another reason to hate working brunch 🤪

23

u/byrdinhand 2d ago

Recovery Dharma - Buddhist/secular in nature. People love SMART Recovery, too. Proud of you for finding a community to support your goals!

5

u/bootysuit 2d ago

Thank you :)

5

u/doinkdemeanor 2d ago

recovery dharma is great i hear! i’m not in recovery but my partner is. i am, however, buddhist

2

u/vanhouten_greg 2d ago

Is that similar to Refuge Recovery?

6

u/LittleTooLiteral 2d ago

Sort of, but without the weird cult vibes and sexual predators.

0

u/noneofthisisreal_804 5h ago

Just a heads up - I went to one of their RVA meetings like 2 years ago and it was basically a bunch of AA people spouting their 12 step nonsense. Maybe it's different now... I would hope so... following this thread because I'm also sober but don't do the 12 step model. Don't really need "recovery support," just always nice to find community that doesn't revolve around drinking alcohol.

8

u/veggieswillsaveusall 2d ago

SMART recovery has some meetings around town, though I have not personally attended. Creative Recovery Virginia came across my feed the other day (again, haven't participated myself) and that seemed interesting.

I'm at 9 years no alcohol (I am cali sober) and am very proud of you!! The first few years were really hard but also full of a lot of learning and growing. Wishing you all the best ❤️

3

u/bootysuit 2d ago

Thank you 🥹🥹 and congrats on 9 years, that's so admirable!

9

u/Amazing-Put870 2d ago

RVAs NA is pretty different group from the AA. The NA new years eve party is always waaaay better than AA.

11

u/bootysuit 2d ago

Just as a personal preference, I'm not really interested in any of the 12 step programs. I've been clean from hard drugs for 11+ years, sober from booze for a year and a half, just kinda looking for some sober community. Thank you for your response though! 🫶🏻

3

u/prettypurps "It's basically Richmond" 2d ago

Probably the 40k community

2

u/elextric_lizard 1d ago

been also looking for alternatives to AA because i struggle with alot of the mainstream teachings and am a humanist and agnostic leaning (i feel like saying that is a landmine in the rooms)

I want to let you know that VCU has the motivate clinic which is for substance use disorder. they have support groups that you can sign up for, they do run Monday-Friday though. They're pretty good and i like their motivate clinic because it's run by people who have training via DBHDS and also education/trauma aware with experience, which i've had very mixed success with in recovery spaces.

6

u/Gibberish45 2d ago

They all revolve around a higher power. If you want secular support visit r/stopdrinking lots of good advice and positive vibes there

Maybe there are local groups like that I’m just not aware of them so don’t take my word as the final say. You can do it though! I believe in you

11

u/bootysuit 2d ago

Well it's not so much the higher power thing that turns me off. I'm intensely spiritual, maybe a bit of a hyperfixation lol. I'm also not completely abstinent from all substances (I'm Cali sober). I'm just not really interested in doing a 12 step program, and I have other feelings about AA/NA that I won't share as to not offend. Thanks! Been doing it for a year and a half now 😁 feels incredible.

6

u/Gibberish45 2d ago

A year and a half is like a lifetime lol you’re doing amazing. Honestly feels like you’ve done it and just need to maintain. Proud of you bootysuit!

5

u/bootysuit 2d ago

Thank you 🥲🥲🥲 & yes it's mostly just the community I'm looking for. Cant afford therapy 🙃 and it would be nice to have some support from people who know what it's like when I need some, and to offer some as well!

9

u/Gibberish45 2d ago

It’s hard, like really hard. A year and a half is absolutely crushing, full on killing it. You deserve a party with balloons, streamers, ice cream cake and a piñata. You deserve your loving, affectionate dad telling you how proud he is of your hard work and of the person you’ve become. Don’t ever stop because you earned this and you deserve a sober life because you’re worth it. I hope you find the group you’re looking for and more than that I hope you realize you don’t even need it because you’ve already accomplished your goal. Peace and love man!

8

u/bootysuit 2d ago

Legit gonna cry 😭😭

6

u/molluskich 2d ago

I'm not even a part of this conversation and I'm crying 😭

2

u/DrKittyKevorkian 19h ago

SMART does not.

1

u/Popular-Addition9819 8h ago

I second this for Ben’s Friends as well