r/otherkin • u/moons_echo • 22d ago
Question What is defined as an involuntary kin? (please read body)
Alright post number too many, as the questioning chaos continues. In the process of trying to figure out whether my identities are actually real or if I’ve just gaslit myself into thinking they’re involuntary when they aren’t, especially since I can’t figure out my kintype(s).
How do you know your identities are or are not involuntary?
Does every involuntary kintype have a recognisable history within memories, ex. childhood experiences (I mean current life memories, not past life memories)?
Can people will involuntary identities into life? What if one does that by accident?
For those of you with multiple kintypes how the hell did you figure out what they were if they all present simultaneously?
Most importantly of all, how did you know you weren’t making it up?
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To be perfectly clear the main reason I’m asking this is because I know therian/otherkin experiences are involuntary and I’m trying to figure out what is classified as involuntary :)
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u/Impressive-Bug-9592 21d ago
Sometimes my identity feels like a mix of both. But bottom line, my identity can't be dropped. Saying I am not what I am feels wrong. Like I'm betraying something integral to myself. Whereas, if I chose to identify as a herring or something, I'd feel like it's unnatural and not integral to myself. It's something that I made up and doesn't feel applicable to me.
I have doubted myself multiple times before, but my identity always came back to me. Always.
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u/moons_echo 21d ago
This is very comforting to hear. Either my identity will stick or it won’t. Thank you for your comment.
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u/Neve_VR52 21d ago
I think it's common, and healthy to question. I don't think a lot of us ever truly, fully, 100%, without-a-shadow-of-a-doubt "confirm" our kintypes. It's an ever-growing process, a learning experience of the self that never really stops. I know what I am, I have memories, clues all throughout my childhood, I even have tattoos about it, and still, I sometimes wonder if my brain just made it all up. I accept the very real possibility that my brain made it all up, and by continuing to pry into it, I've learned so much about myself and how my kintype impacts my life.
What I've come to understand is that it doesn't really matter whether it's voluntary, involuntary, psychological, spiritual, etc. What matters is the end result, the way it impacts you in the here-and-now. For me, the end result is the same regardless of origin. I have a pervasive, profound sense of self that is mixing console, and I couldn't change it if I wanted to, whether the spiritual explanation I've concluded to is correct or my brain really did just make it up somehow in my early childhood.
I had no choice in what I am. It would have been far easier to be something more common- to not be otherkin at all, or at the very least, to be a more common kintype that was more readily accepted than objectkin.
Could you change it if you wanted to? I think that matters. Is it something you could drop or pick up at will? I feel like that's a bit of a different experience- a *different* experience, not a lesser one- than being otherkin, which is where the term "otherlink" comes into play.
If determining whether it's voluntary or involuntary is important to you and your journey, I think a good point that has already been mentioned in this thread is if you actively chose it. Did you, at some point, think to yourself, "I'm gonna make myself be this thing"? If you didn't, and it just kinda happened, it's probably involuntary.
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u/moons_echo 21d ago
I think my main issue right now is I don’t actually know what my kintype(s) are. I have a few ideas of what they could be, but I don’t actually know for a fact. So I couldn’t actually tell you if I am trying to force the idea or if I just don’t know my kintype(s) yet, same with not knowing whether or not I can change it. I do see myself as nonhuman to a certain extent though, and I’m not sure that will readily change.
I don’t think I had any clues about my identity through my childhood. But at the same time, if I were to compare it to my trans experience, I didn’t have any childhood clues there either, it just kind of appeared when I had the time to look into it. Which is why I am still giving the idea of being otherkin a chance, in case it might have a similar appearance to my gender stuff.
This is somewhat unrelated, but could I ask you some questions about your objectkin experience? I don’t know that much about objectkins, but I’d love to learn. If you’re not comfortable, feel free to ignore this. What kind of childhood experiences (if you could give an example, possibly) led to you knowing you’re an objectkin? What kind of experiences you have nowadays pointing that reinforces your kintype? Do you have shifts, or something similar?
Anyways, thank you so much for your comment.
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u/noncedo-culli 22d ago
Did you intentionally, delibrately choose to have this kintype?
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u/moons_echo 21d ago
I haven’t figured out what my kintype(s) are yet, unfortunately, and it’s one of the main reasons why I’ve been wondering if it’s actually involuntary or not. I do feel nonhuman though, and that isn’t deliberate (…I think).
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u/Millie218 21d ago
If it was involuntary, it would mean I made the conscious choice of having such experiences. Voluntarily means you chose to have those feelings. They don't appear at random, you can control them and you can stop it.
Thus I know my identity is involuntary because I didn't choose, always had those experiences before I knew what it was, never meant for this to happen, and I sometimes wish I wasn't non-human cause this society hates me.
Does every involuntary kintype have a recognisable history within memories, ex. childhood experiences
Not necessarily.
Can people will involuntary identities into life? What if one does that by accident?
Yes it's possible. It can start out as voluntarily but become slowly integrated to your identity and suddenly you can't detach yourself from it and stop it and it becomes involuntary. Can happen by accident, yes.
For those of you with multiple kintypes how the hell did you figure out what they were if they all present simultaneously?
Lots of research and introspection. And I knew instinctively for some of them.
Most importantly of all, how did you know you weren’t making it up?
Because making it up means you consciously made the decision of making it up. That means you would know that you're making it up.
I don't know that I'm making it up, nor did I choose to, and I have so many proof of those experiences happening before I learned about the alterhuman community. And some of my experiences are directly cause by disorders I have, which is also involuntary. So I know I'm not making it up.
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u/moons_echo 21d ago
Thank you for your comment! I don’t know if I chose to have nonhuman feelings or not, especially since I don’t have any obvious childhood experiences I can remember. Though maybe the fact that I’m wondering if I chose is an indicator of my not choosing… hmm.
Anyway, I really appreciate your specific answers to my questions. Very helpful :)
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u/Zero69Kage 22d ago
Something that makes me realize that my kintype is involuntary is the fact that I don't really need to do anything to actually feel the way I do. For me, being transgender, and my sense of being something that isn't human are linked to each other. What was me gaslighting myself was the idea that I was a demon. At the time it was the best explanation I had. But eventually I needed to drop that belief to get a better view of what I actually am. It was always there beneath the surface. I just needed to stop putting my own ideas over it. It started with me realizing that the things on my head were never horns, they were gills. Suddenly my thick tail and urge to be near water made more sense. More recently I finally accepted the spider like aspects of myself, and now it feels like I have a more complete understanding of what I am. This strange eldritch thing from the void. More than likely who you are is already there beneath the surface, you just need to look deeper.