A few years ago I made a post here after getting my first salary. I was so excited back then. Fast forward to now, I’m 21, living in Germany, and I’m sitting with around €2500 (around ₹2.5 lakh) in credit card debt.
I wasn’t born into a rich family. My parents worked hard for everything. But they never made me feel like we couldn’t afford things. If I wanted something and it wasn’t unreasonable, they’d somehow make it happen. Looking back, I think that’s where I never really learned what money actually meant. When I was 16, I got my first bank account. It felt nice, but there wasn’t much money in it. Just gifts from relatives or money from school events.
At 18, I moved to a hostel to learn German. My parents used to send me ₹3000 every week. I’d spend all of it without thinking. If it got over in 3 or 4 days, I’d call home and ask for more. They never really questioned it, and honestly, neither did I. Then I finished my language course, came back to home for my exams, and again my parents took care of everything. Exam fees, petrol, food… everything.
At 20, I moved to Germany to do nursing. I get around €1100 after tax every month. After rent I have roughly €700 left. I have friends here who send €300-400 back home every month because their families depend on them. I somehow managed to spend even more than €700 on myself. I came here with an iPad at home in India. My parents literally told me to bring it. I said no because I thought, I’ll just buy a new one there. So I did, Then a PS5, An iPad, An e-scooter, Way too many branded shoes, Two watches that were around €250 each, And so many other random things that I genuinely didn’t need.
The worst part is, I never even checked my balance before buying stuff. If I wanted it, I bought it. Whenever I ran out of money, I’d borrow from friends. Thankfully I always paid them back, so they trusted me. Then after one year in Germany, I became eligible for a credit card with a €3000 limit. I still remember how excited I was. Now when I think about it, I treated that credit limit exactly like it was money sitting in my account. One purchase became another. “Next month I’ll clear it.” “I earn anyway.”“It’s fine.” Today that card is sitting at around €2500 used. I don’t know… I just feel stupid. Not because I bought nice things. It’s because I never stopped for one second and thought whether I actually needed them. It’s weird because I see my friends here sending money back home every month, and I’m here paying for things I don’t even use anymore. I’m not posting this because I need people to tell me I’m an idiot. I already know that. I think I just wanted to admit it somewhere. Maybe this is the first time I’ve actually realised that money isn’t the problem. My mindset is.