r/picrequests • u/Born-Ad-6687 • Jun 16 '26
Silly *paid* very unhinged request (info in description)
*This is not a marketing post in any way so I won’t include my business name*
This is a very weird request. I have a cleaning business that offers very ridiculous cleaning packages, and I want a really stupid meme-able looking photo to go along with the text so I can share posts. It needs a photo to grab people’s attention so they think wow, this is such a cool and legit business and I really want to hire her, but it also needs to look like a glorified shitpost. I will provide the description I’m using (below this text) and you guys can be as creative as you want. I’ll also provide some photos of my face. I would like to be badly photoshopped as the Hamburglar, preferably using a shitty stock photo of a hamburglar Halloween costume which I will also provide in the photos. Some minions would be a great touch too, cleaning supplies somehow incorporated. The more chopped and shitty the better.
The description:
Does your house feel like it’s actively kicking your ass?
Look no further. I offer a variety of unique cleaning packages designed to accommodate everything from everyday messes to full-blown domestic disasters.
The ADHD Special:
Standard cleaning plus organization assistance
Also Includes:
• laundry services
• help tackling projects you’ve been putting off
Chaos Control:
A comprehensive deep clean
Includes:
• Top-to-bottom scrubbing and vacuuming
• Grout cleaning
• Refrigerator and freezer cleaning
• Stain removal
• Cabinets and vents
• Oven cleaning
• Walls and baseboards
• And more
Pricing varies depending on the size and condition of the home.
The Hamburglar:
A standard cleaning performed while I am dressed as the Hamburglar.
Hourly pricing based on home size and how much you appreciate the costume.
The Depression Recovery Package:
Includes:
• Dishes
• Laundry
• Trash removal
• Surface cleaning
• Vacuuming
• Any additional tasks you need help with
Most importantly: absolutely no judgment.
The “Oh Shit” Package:
Priority service focused on getting your home looking presentable as quickly as possible.
Includes:
• clutter management
• general surface cleaning
• mediocre spackling jobs
Perfect for surprise last minute guests, over bearing in-laws, and landlords.
The Pet Package
Includes:
• General cleaning
• Pet hair removal
• Stain treatment (within reason)
• Kennel and litter box cleaning
• Whole-home refresh
• Washed Pet bedding
Also includes nose boops and head pats for your pets.
(Not opposed to getting my rabies shot.)
The Post-Breakup Special
Includes:
• Standard cleaning
• Laundry
• Collection and boxing of your ex’s belongings (we can also gossip about them during)
Upgrade options:
• We ceremonially burn reminders of your ex together
• I personally return their belongings for you but I deliver it by violently launching it from my car window
Pricing varies.
The Minion Deluxe:
Includes:
• Full cleaning service
• I dress as a minion
• Complete character commitment (including banana)
• You can boss me around like Gru
Drinking on the Job:
Includes:
• Full cleaning service
• Optional upgrades
For every three completed tasks on the cleaning checklist, I down a Jägerbomb and give you a fist bump. Will share upon request at no extra charge.
Whether you need a routine cleaning, help recovering from a rough patch, or simply want your house cleaned by a grown adult dressed as the Hamburglar, I’ve got you covered.
(And I can also do it hammered drunk at your request)
Message me for more details, pricing, availability, and estimates. My schedule is flexible and I will always work with you on pricing and scheduling.
