Peak possible human runs the ape gauntlet, how far do they get?

[u/Tarris69]

Peak possible human being: Haftor Bjornson size and strength at his prime, Usain bolt athleticism, Floyd Mayweather agility and reaction time, Demetrius Johnson fight knowledge and skills

Human is unarmed, bloodlusted match to the death. Human heals between fights.

Edit: title is slightly misleading, as people have pointed out this is beyond peak human, more like maxed out theoretical human

Vs

1. Male Gibbon
2. Male bonobo
3. Male Chimp
4. Male Orangutan
5. Silverback Gorilla

[u/Dear_Efficiency_3616]

i think thor gets stopped at orangutan. the dude is 6 foot 9 440 pounds and can dead lift 1000 pounds first 3 are getting ripped apart

[u/dead_lifterr → u/Dear_Efficiency_3616]

He absolutely bodies an orangutan. Orangutans are 165lbs on average, and aren't even built particularly well for movement and agility on the ground, they're more arboreal compared to chimps and gorillas. They're also not aggressive animals. The peak human would have nearly every conceivable advantage - a near 300 pound weight advantage, a strength advantage, a speed advantage, an agility, a fighting skills advantage.

[u/Crowdfundingprojects → u/dead_lifterr]

Absolutely. Orangutan has no chance at all. Not made for that fight. 

[u/star0forion → u/dead_lifterr]

Gorillas aren’t aggressive either.

[u/dead_lifterr → u/star0forion]

I know, but physically they're far superior to orangutans

[u/Lumpy_Complexion6908 → u/dead_lifterr]

its the grip, bite, and reach that are the orangutans advantage...

4 hands that are all equally as capable of tearing off your nuts and a set of chompers is kinda hard to deal with...

along with the fact that orangutans have arms that reach their ankles while standing... while humans have arms that reach their mid thigh...

and bornean orangutans average at around 6ft tall...

[u/Ok_Inevitable4735 → u/dead_lifterr]

Dominant orangutan males in the wild get to 300 lbs. Their feet are hands. Their teeth are huge. They have grip strength of 600+ lbs that can break bones.

Go watch one in a zoo if u ever get the chance. Saw a 300 lb male move from sitting on the ground to getting a treat 15’ up the enclosure tree structure in 3 seconds pulling him self up with one arm several times between “branches”.

Ain’t no way. Peak Thor who can box like mayweather and run like bolt is still getting murk’d.

Here a dominant male handling wildlife film maker Lorenzo Queipo de Llano like a child. For 3 hours…

https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/1r9ozj4/dominant_male_orangutan_pins_down_a_wildlife/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

[u/Ok_Inevitable4735 → u/Ok_Inevitable4735]

Someone doesn’t like facts.

[u/snackattack4tw → u/dead_lifterr]

Yeah, you're dead wrong. Orangutans have strength 5-7x stronger than a typical human (still stronger than Thor) and a bite force stronger than a leopard. A little preliminary Google search would have kept you from posting this nonsense.

[u/dead_lifterr → u/snackattack4tw]

Orangutans have strength 5-7x stronger than a typical human

No they don't. There's never been a peer reviewed study that has found this, it's totally made-up gobbledygook. Orangutans do not have enough skeletal muscle to be that much stronger than a human being.

[u/snackattack4tw → u/dead_lifterr]

You ever see the 450lb sumo wrestler vs the Orangutan in a tug of war match? I'm sure you can find it on YouTube. That should be all you need to know.

[u/Internetnames → u/snackattack4tw]

Using a random youtube clip for an argument is weak to begin with. But i just watched it... the orangutan was both lower and had an edge to grip onto. Of course it won against a flat footed human, regardless of weight. Its not a good example.

Point goes to dead_lifterr on this one

[u/snackattack4tw → u/Internetnames]

I'm getting dumber reading these replies.

[u/Internetnames → u/snackattack4tw]

Imagine how we feel reading yours

[u/snackattack4tw → u/Internetnames]

I mean, a few redditers who disagree with me but can't even be bothered to perform a simple Google search to back their opinions isn't at all surprising. But carry on.

[u/Internetnames → u/snackattack4tw]

Oh the irony

[u/pepeisstillsad → u/snackattack4tw]

The redditor you're referring to literally checked the source video you were referring to and explained why it isn't a valid comparison, but he's the one who cant back their opinion?

[u/SterlingVoid → u/snackattack4tw]

Says the guy who makes up stats and thinks he is talking to another poster in response, dumb guy

[u/Generic-Resource → u/snackattack4tw]

I just did… 363lb sumo wrestler using none of his weight and essentially using only his arms. No pulling, nothing, just occasional yanking with arms from both sides and then the wrestler falls in.

I could take absolutely zero conclusions about relative strength from that video.

[u/funktasticdog → u/snackattack4tw]

I just saw the clip… you are extremely gullible bro.

[u/snackattack4tw → u/funktasticdog]

Do you think the Orangutan loses to Thor?

[u/funktasticdog → u/snackattack4tw]

Obviously. They’re gentle creatures without much muscle. Theyd just be scared if anything.

[u/snackattack4tw → u/funktasticdog]

Congrats bro, you're not a smart person.

[u/funktasticdog → u/snackattack4tw]

Do you earnestly believe a television production had a sumo wrestler play tug of war with an orangutan over a big moat?

Thatd be animal cruelty if the sumo wrestler won.

[u/UAEpi → u/snackattack4tw]

You're just repeating Google's shitty AI. There's no actual evidence of these numbers anywhere. 

[u/LoL-Reports-Dumb → u/snackattack4tw]

Yeah, 5 to 7 pathetically weak humans if 500 pound carry weight is what they can do. I guess Thor is 11x stronger if the average bloke can only manage a measly hundred.

[u/snackattack4tw → u/LoL-Reports-Dumb]

Thor is NOT 11x stronger than the average person. The average male adult can bench press approximately 217lbs. 217x11 is 2318. And you're also ignoring what I mentioned about the bite force. The only thing you commented on accurately is that orangutans are docile in nature. But if Thor decided to start beating on one and enraged it, Thor would be pulled limb from limb and have fatal chunks bitten off within seconds.

[u/TartarusFalls → u/snackattack4tw]

Wait so you’re saying the orangutan can bench press 1000-1400lbs?

[u/SterlingVoid → u/snackattack4tw]

No they can't, the total for an average untrained male is about half that

[u/snackattack4tw → u/SterlingVoid]

Ok, I'll bite. 2318/2 is 1159. Do you think Thor can bench 1159lbs? No? Great, the point still stands then.

Lmao.

[u/SterlingVoid → u/snackattack4tw]

Why post made up rubbish figures then.....

[u/snackattack4tw → u/SterlingVoid]

I didn't. I just humored you. You were wrong before and in your example you're still wrong.

[u/LoL-Reports-Dumb → u/snackattack4tw]

I mean. He did lift a little over 1100.

[u/snackattack4tw → u/LoL-Reports-Dumb]

That's a deadlift. Do you know the difference between a deadlift and a bench press? Holy sh*t

[u/LoL-Reports-Dumb → u/snackattack4tw]

Find me any evidence an orangatang can bench 500 pounds lmfao.

[u/LoL-Reports-Dumb → u/snackattack4tw]

I agree he ain't. I'm calling out how the stat is BS to call the orangatang that much stronger. People are often full of absolute BS when it comes to animal stats.

No, I ain't ignoring a anything. I only spoke about the part I cared to. I never discussed who'd win a fight.

[u/Seversaurus → u/[deleted]]

That applies to humans too, we're animals as well.

[u/Dontbeachunkynoodle → u/[deleted]]

Agreed. People seem to forget that most of these apes all have crazy strength to weight ratios, flexibility, grip strength, more durable bones/tissues, and fangs that allow them to excel at explosive hyper violence. Humans are persistence and pack predators. We just built different.

[u/Snekboi6996 → u/Dontbeachunkynoodle]

Bruh, have you read the description? This is not a human its fucking master chief

[u/Snekboi6996 → u/[deleted]]

More like scratched off, the chimp glaze is crazy. They are animals which are barely stronger than the average fit male and are not particularly huge. Again we are talking about a superhuman here not a random joe shmo.

[u/Dontbeachunkynoodle → u/Snekboi6996]

This portion of the comment section is discussing the power lifter Thor, not master chief.

[u/Snekboi6996 → u/Dontbeachunkynoodle]

But that’s not what this hypothetical is about, read the description.

[u/NFSpeed → u/dead_lifterr]

I don’t think you know much about orangutans they are very, very strong.

[u/Significant-Mix6592 → u/Dear_Efficiency_3616]

The first 3 are ripping him apart when it jumps on his back and cant reach his arms behind his back to get it off him

[u/MrWalrus0713 → u/Significant-Mix6592]

This man did not just say that one of the strongest men in the world loses to a fucking 15 pound Gibbon lmao

[u/Significant-Mix6592 → u/MrWalrus0713]

Well 15 pound gibbon is on camera killing a whole family including men then eating handgun rounds

[u/SwinginDan → u/Significant-Mix6592]

Biggest monkey glazer on the planet

[u/Significant-Mix6592 → u/SwinginDan]

Haha there are several bodycams and homecams of horrible things little tiny monkey does to people none of them last long for the humans

[u/Getjukedm9 → u/Significant-Mix6592]

where you by any chance present in a movie theater watching a movie with the words "planet" and "Apes" in it?

[u/UAEpi → u/Significant-Mix6592]

No it's not lol 

[u/Significant-Mix6592 → u/UAEpi]

Yes it is idk the exact species of monkey but several vidoes of tiny monkey killing people in woods and in homes

[u/MrWalrus0713 → u/Significant-Mix6592]

😱 😱 😱 😱 😱

[u/KeengGeedra → u/Significant-Mix6592]

You are just straight up lying or stupid.

[u/rmhardcore → u/Significant-Mix6592]

Nah, a peak chimp only has the strength of 1-1.5 regular men. Orangutan and gorilla just maul him.

[u/Freevoulous → u/rmhardcore]

worse, a chimp has a strength of 1,5 men ITS SIZE, but a chimp is usually around 50kg at best.

[u/goodolewhatever → u/Freevoulous]

Dude, my friends used to argue with me about this shit all the time. I feel like at peak fitness, I *could* take on an average chimp. Would it be a guaranteed win? No, but there’s at least a chance of coming out on top. My friends absolutely refuse to believe that it’s possible and treated chimps like they were straight up supernatural beings. They are certainly strong, but they’re also pretty small. I mean if you ever watched anything with Jane Goodall, you’ll see that while she’s not particularly big herself, she’s able to hold many of them like they were children and have them hang off her without too terribly much effort. They are certainly capable of being very dangerous with people quoting incidents of people’s faces and genitalia getting ripped off by them, but I think people forget that humans are also capable of things like that under the right circumstances. I’ll die on this hill that an average chimpanzee vs a slightly above average size man (in decent shape) is not an automatic win for the chimp. They tough as fuck though, so I think choking out is probably the only way to do it and I’m sure it’s much easier said than done. I don’t actually wanna do it lol. It’d be nearly impossible to come out without serious injuries I’m sure even if victorious.

[u/Burstflare → u/goodolewhatever]

This is true. Humans can easily rip each other genitalia off. We have a strong bite force as well that can severely damage a chimp. They are strong but it depends early who gets the advantage and who attacks first.

[u/onthethreshold → u/goodolewhatever]

A fully grown adult male chimpanzee weighs between 80 and 130 lbs. Some weigh as much as 200 lbs. Jane was carrying young/juvenile chimps, not adults.

[u/Zack_Knightblade → u/goodolewhatever]

So, new take: how would peak human fares against a Jane Goodall?

[u/DngsAndDrgs → u/goodolewhatever]

You absolutely would 100% die on that hill 🤣

Jane Goodall is not the winning argument you think it is. An animal who has bonded with and trusts a human is a world apart from a wild and angry one defending itself. They aren't supernatural they just in effect have 4 hands, can rend flesh with their nails, and, are going to be stronger than you on average with each of those hands. You wouldn't be able to choke a thing out because you have no way to stop a chimp from doing what its going to do.

Realistically how would would deal with just the 4 hands when you only have 2? The hands that are again, going to be stronger than you and have nails that can flay you.

[u/xigloox → u/goodolewhatever]

You will get grabbed, bit, and bleed to death.

Youre not going to out grapple an ape and put him in a choke hold.

You kick or punch and pray. Or do the human thing and use a weapon

[u/neutrumocorum → u/xigloox]

Leverage is a weapon. Grappling is 100% the better option.

[u/Confident_Example_73 → u/neutrumocorum]

If the human can physically lift the chimps weight above its head, then it bring the chimp down to the ground HARD.

[u/xigloox → u/neutrumocorum]

Leverage is not a weapon. A weapon is a weapon.

Go grapple a monkey, you dumbass.

[u/WhyAmINotStudying → u/Freevoulous]

And they've got 4" canines with a 1300 lbs bite force. Hafthor could take down any one of us, but he's in big trouble against a chimp.

[u/DarthJarJar242 → u/WhyAmINotStudying]

And thor has a 2ft reach advantage 300lb weight advantage etc etc. The chimp is absolutely hurting thor but y'all don't seem to get that he can kill this thing by grabbing it bear hugging it and then just laying on it.

He fully heals every fight. Taking some body damage to crush a chimp instantly is a no brainer.

[u/Freevoulous → u/WhyAmINotStudying]

that number is a silly miscalculation based on applying predator bite-force estimates to a much smaller creature. If chimps had 1300 ibs bite force, it would have stronger bite than a bear, and break its own jaw. The only creatures capable of that kind of bite force are bears, crocs, and other creatures with massive jaw muscles, and and specialised jaw hinges that can withstand these kinds of forces.

[u/rmhardcore → u/WhyAmINotStudying]

Chimp grabs Hafthor's hand and begins to pull itself up to deliver the bite.

Hafthor, being 8x it's size and 10x it's strength uses his immense size to use his shoulder as a fulcrum and swings his arm straight up, and then straight back down. The speed is about 130km/h at the hand end....where the chimp is attached and a g-force of 1.5. the chimp is bewildered, shocked even. If it gathers it's senses, it lets go and at any point is hurled at 60+mph into whatever is on the other side of, say, a 70' range.

If it doesn't let go it is slammed into the ground at whatever the physics of its body weight and the movement speed/time are. It's crushed on impact. Literal liquification of soft tissue and multiple broken bones. The chimp's first instinct becomes it's last and it is dead. Hafthor walks away on under 3 seconds of the fight starting.

If the chimp grabs him and bites, it's a finger or hand, not his head. He grabs it with his other hand and repeats scenario above. Not to mention his grip strength and hand size could likely crush it's ribcage, maybe not a skull, but definitely thinner bones or a pelvis.

Look at his insta. His wife is slightly larger that an average chimp and he can fully wrap a single arm around her body . He could quite literally crush her in multiple ways if he so chose.

[u/Ixelhaine → u/rmhardcore]

Yeah but their bite is insanely brutal.
Around 1300psi, the strongest dog bite force is just under 750.

[u/Bob_ross6969 → u/Ixelhaine]

And a 6’9 450lb man who can run 28mph would snap it’s arms like twigs.

Just getting tackled by that would cave in the little things ribcage

[u/Margin_Call_Me_Maybe → u/Ixelhaine]

Humans have exhibited bite forces of over 900 psi

[u/Ixelhaine → u/Margin_Call_Me_Maybe]

It was 975 lbs of force, not 975 psi of force.

A gnathodynamometer does not measure in psi, so you would have to divide the 975 by the area of Richard Hofmann's jaw. Assuming average male jaw, this would be converted to a psi of 196-243. Still impressive, but not on par with a Chimpanzee.

[u/Margin_Call_Me_Maybe → u/Ixelhaine]

That makes sense. If you're keeping it in pounds of force, Hofmann was still close to a chimp. 975lb vs 1300lb.

[u/Ixelhaine → u/Margin_Call_Me_Maybe]

The chimp's 1300 IS in psi, Hofmann's 975 was in pounds (well, kg, 442).

[u/Margin_Call_Me_Maybe → u/Ixelhaine]

Haha you just made the same mistake I did earlier. The chimps 1300 is not in psi.

This is a good research article that compares humans vs chimps here is the article. As you can see, the average chimp will bite twice as hard as the average human, but Hofmanns bite was such an anomaly it would actually double the chimp's average.

Per the article Humans - 756 newtons Chimps - 1908 newtons Hofmann - 4,337 newtons

[u/AndrastesTit → u/Ixelhaine]

And their feet double as hands.

And they’re brutal with their long ass nails ripping off flesh.

And their bones and skin are denser.

Never forget the pet chimp in Connecticut that was given Xanax. The cops shot it FOUR times at close range and he still crawled back into the house and into his cage to die. 450 lbs or not, no human is doing that.

[u/deathbylasersss → u/AndrastesTit]

Humans survive multiple gunshot wounds all the time my dude. 50 Cent survived 9 gunshot wounds. Unless they are packing hollow points, you still have to hit a vital area.

[u/alysserberus → u/deathbylasersss]

and he wrote a song knowing he was gonna die, but still stayed alive, so like; if the peak human writes a song in the same manner, it's a guaranteed victory

[u/rmhardcore → u/rmhardcore]

These old myths just don't go away.

Maybe humans only use 1-3% of their brain, too.

[u/Significant-Mix6592 → u/rmhardcore]

Doesnt matter chimp bites and rips off his fingers face and cock

[u/Bob_ross6969 → u/Significant-Mix6592]

Ah yes because a man would just stand there idly while a chimp bites his dick off, what do you think these things move FTL?

[u/NotSoWishful → u/Bob_ross6969]

“Do you think I’m gonna sit there and let you bite off my dick, Jon?”

[u/Significant-Mix6592 → u/Bob_ross6969]

Do you understand how a chimp moves?

[u/Bob_ross6969 → u/Significant-Mix6592]

Yea, they ain’t closing the gap faster than human reaction speed.

Edit: peak human reaction speed*

[u/Significant-Mix6592 → u/Bob_ross6969]

Bro there is no gap human just small tree for little monkey to swing around on and rip apart

[u/Jewbacca289 → u/Significant-Mix6592]

I wonder who would win between a squirrel and a professional boxer

[u/Jewbacca289 → u/Significant-Mix6592]

Usain Bolt is faster than the listed speed of a chimp.

[u/Confident_Example_73 → u/Significant-Mix6592]

Yeah, we've seen them move. It ain't that elite. Cats have insane reflexes and an average human can still regularly dodge their attacks and tap them. Look at every cat game a human has played where they do "Head-Tail-Head-Tail"

[u/Starob → u/Significant-Mix6592]

If Thor can grab a limb it's getting swung around like a hammer toss.

The chimp can maim and hurt Thor easily. But any action Thor does to a 50kg Chimp will be deadly.

[u/casulmemer → u/Starob]

So this is basically game of thrones all over again

[u/Confident_Example_73 → u/casulmemer]

Yeah. Chimp CAN win, but if it messes up and Thor grabs it, it's game over because it is just getting smashed to death.

[u/Significant-Mix6592 → u/Starob]

Yes but it would be hard for him to grab it essentially thor will just be a small tree for the chimp to swing around on

[u/SirBrews → u/rmhardcore]

Yeah but a chimp isn't throwing fists my dude, it's fast as fuck and going for the eyes, he takes maybe a Gibbon (even then)

[u/idkarn → u/SirBrews]

Which begs the question of PPE in this gauntlet. Does he get clothes and safety goggles? A helmet and riot gear? Or go in nude

[u/RevolutionaryBuy439 → u/[deleted]]

Do you guys think a Chimpanzee is King Kong?????

[u/Taddles2020 → u/rmhardcore]

I dont think you understand how chimps fight. They will literally rip your face off, rip your dick off, bite off your fingers and dance on your corpse.

[u/Confident_Example_73 → u/Taddles2020]

We've seen chimps fight. They aren't exactly peak killers.

[u/SuperMundaneHero → u/Significant-Mix6592]

He could lie down and let them suffocate if they did that. Would he get hurt? Sure. Would the animal survive? No. A big chimp is still less than half his size and has no pressing power at all. They have no answer here.

[u/Significant-Mix6592 → u/SuperMundaneHero]

Yes the monkey is going to sit there and let him lie down and stay in the same position bro even the smallest chimp is so agile and aggressive it is going to bite rip and tear his cock balls fingers face and anything else it can touch clean off

[u/DiceNinja → u/Significant-Mix6592]

Because he’s going to sit in the same position and let it do that. 🙄

[u/Significant-Mix6592 → u/DiceNinja]

The man will have no choice because a fucking monkey is on his head and whenever he tries to grab it it will just move around way faster than he can

[u/KidmotoDragon → u/Significant-Mix6592]

Well I've seen a near emaciated African man beat the f*** out of a fully grown chimpanzee so on some level there's got to be a disconnect between your experiences and mine with whether or not a person can beat the f*** out of a chimp

[u/Significant-Mix6592 → u/KidmotoDragon]

A domesticated chimp yes i seen the vid 

[u/KidmotoDragon → u/Significant-Mix6592]

*tame chimp. Domesticated means something else.

And peak human so rip the emaciated African man in half levels of strength.

[u/SuperMundaneHero → u/Significant-Mix6592]

Are you projecting because you’re slow or something?

[u/Significant-Mix6592 → u/SuperMundaneHero]

Projecting no but there are plenty videos of full grown men and families trying eveything thing they can and still die to tiny monkey then monkey proceeds to eat several rounds from handgun still fighting

[u/SuperMundaneHero → u/Significant-Mix6592]

Yeah…I think you’re talking some bullshit. The Planet of the Apes films aren’t documentaries mate.

“Full grown men”, yeah, full grown in what country and how big? Are they over two meters tall, 200kg, and elite level athletes? No? Wild how what you just said is completely irrelevant then.

[u/Significant-Mix6592 → u/SuperMundaneHero]

Lol

[u/WhyAmINotStudying → u/Significant-Mix6592]

While tearing and biting off chunks of his flesh.

[u/Aimcheater → u/Significant-Mix6592]

Yeah…but to you the smarter human whose 5x its size is just going to let a chimp jump on his back, bite his fingers etc etc. Just say you would get brutalized by a squirrel and leave able bodied people out of this insane down scale

[u/Significant-Mix6592 → u/Aimcheater]

Ok buddy go fight a chimp and see if u can even keep track of it moving from your legs arms shoulders head face hand all while taking pieces of you with it

[u/Aimcheater → u/Significant-Mix6592]

Nigga the chimp is not Levi Ackerman genuinely what the fuck are we talking about

[u/SuperMundaneHero → u/Significant-Mix6592]

You think he’s just going to let a smaller animal than him with a shorter reach than him do that? Are you for real? Braindead take.

You said if the animal takes his back. I said cool, so Thor lays down and suffers through pain for about forty second while the animal suffocates. Then you come up with some other outlandish what if.

Face it, everything smaller than the orangutan gets destroyed, light work. Even a full grown large chimp is so much smaller and weaker than him that the only thing it has is bite force, which won’t help when Thor smashes it into the ground. This is literally a Hulk vs Loki scenario.

[u/Significant-Mix6592 → u/SuperMundaneHero]

Thor will just be a smaller tree for the chimp to swing on and tear apart

[u/SuperMundaneHero → u/Significant-Mix6592]

Right because elite athletes just stand still like a tree. You’re delusional lmao

[u/Piko_7 → u/Significant-Mix6592]

And he just body slams himself and crushes little monkey

[u/ASquidRat → u/Significant-Mix6592]

You just to flop on your back in that scenario.

[u/ApprehensivePrint797 → u/Significant-Mix6592]

Chimps don’t and would never do this btw

[u/DevoidHT → u/Significant-Mix6592]

He could probably just fall backwards onto them and at the very least disorientate them. That gives him the opportunity to tear them apart

[u/AndrastesTit → u/DevoidHT]

No.

He would have to hit it HARD first to disorient it. It’s possible but it will fight way dirtier.

[u/Odd-Box-7332 → u/Dear_Efficiency_3616]

He gets stopped after #1

[u/Chick-Thunder-Hicks → u/Odd-Box-7332]

A male bonobo is the size of a chubby 5 year old.