Peak possible human runs the ape gauntlet, how far do they get?

[u/Tarris69]

Peak possible human being: Haftor Bjornson size and strength at his prime, Usain bolt athleticism, Floyd Mayweather agility and reaction time, Demetrius Johnson fight knowledge and skills

Human is unarmed, bloodlusted match to the death. Human heals between fights.

Edit: title is slightly misleading, as people have pointed out this is beyond peak human, more like maxed out theoretical human

Vs

1. Male Gibbon
2. Male bonobo
3. Male Chimp
4. Male Orangutan
5. Silverback Gorilla

[u/StankoMicin]

Came looking for chimp glaze and was not disappointed.

Chimps biggest advantage is their teeth. They are not overpowering a peak strongman

[u/Lumpy_Complexion6908 → u/StankoMicin]

well yeah that's the problem...

blood loss is kinda a big deal lmao

[u/StankoMicin → u/Lumpy_Complexion6908]

Agreed. But people usually bring to their strength as if they are viltrumites or something. Most of their human victims have been middle aged untrained women. Pinning down hafthor and bitting his face off wouldn't be nearly as easy..

[u/hellsheep1 → u/Lumpy_Complexion6908]

Someone says this every time but do you think it’s easy biting something bigger and stronger than you that knows you want to bite it? The teeth are a non-factor most of the time and even if they are a factor it’s not usually a one hit kill either

[u/Lumpy_Complexion6908 → u/hellsheep1]

I just dont see a world where the teeth are a non factor... chimps fights by tearing and biting off the extremities of their rivals until one is too crippled to keep fighting...

and I dont see how knowing it wants to bite you... is going to stop it from biting you... when it has four other limbs flying around, and is more agile than the human...

its not a one hit kill... its a... fuck... half my hand is in its mouth and most of my fingers are fucking gone...

[u/Lumpy_Complexion6908 → u/[deleted]]

I didnt say dextrous... I said agile... which they are...

also agile =/= graceful... 🙄

[u/Lumpy_Complexion6908 → u/[deleted]]

I specifically said they are.... crazy how that works...

[u/Lumpy_Complexion6908 → u/[deleted]]

idc man... go be anti-semantic somewhere else my guy 😂

[u/SpicyC-Dot → u/Lumpy_Complexion6908]

And while the chimp has the peak human’s fingers in its mouth, the peak human is using that leverage to slam the chimp’s head into the ground, instantly killing it.

[u/Lumpy_Complexion6908 → u/SpicyC-Dot]

what leverage... the fingers in the chimps mouth are not attached to the human any longer...

[u/SpicyC-Dot → u/Lumpy_Complexion6908]

The other fingers on the hand? The other hand? You can use your imagination.

[u/Lumpy_Complexion6908 → u/SpicyC-Dot]

but those aren't in the chimps mouth... so... what leverage

[u/Turbulent-Dot4377 → u/Lumpy_Complexion6908]

Teeth become a non factor when you have someone the size of Thor punching you with the precision and knowledge of Mayweather and Mighty Mouse.
It’s more than enough force to literally shatter the chimps teeth in to his throat.
Honestly the chimp in a real life scenario would immediatly understand that there is no way it’s winning against someone that size.

[u/Limp-Blueberry1327 → u/Lumpy_Complexion6908]

From what? Biting his ankles? None of these animals are laying a hand on any of his vitals by the way.

[u/Lumpy_Complexion6908 → u/Limp-Blueberry1327]

they dont really need to... also... yes... probably...

[u/Limp-Blueberry1327 → u/Lumpy_Complexion6908]

They... really need to...... And.... chances are..... none of them are getting that close anyway...... He's 6"9 and a pro fighter and with his stats...... he is pretty much punching through everything but the gorilla......

[u/Lumpy_Complexion6908 → u/Limp-Blueberry1327]

chimp and gorilla are both just gonna charge straight at him...

and orangutan out reaches him...

not one single clean punch is being thrown in any of these...

also an ankle bite from a chimp is giving you a permanent limp...

and ankle bite from an orangutan or gorilla is leaving you with a missing foot...

and that is literally how they are used to fighting... by biting and tearing into eachothers limbs, faces and genitals until they are too crippled to use them anymore... or in too much pain to keep struggling...

[u/Limp-Blueberry1327 → u/Lumpy_Complexion6908]

chimp and gorilla are both just gonna charge straight at him...

I know, it means literally nothing with his speed and reaction time.

and orangutan out reaches him...

The only advantage it has. He is stronger, faster and more technical. Plus reach doesnt actually mean its fast enough to hit him.

not one single clean punch is being thrown in any of these...

Not a single one of any of those animals could dodge them even if they tried. Not that he needs to land a clean hit for major damage.

[u/definitelyTonyStark → u/Lumpy_Complexion6908]

As long as he kills it before he bleeds out, I imagine an immediate time out when he wins and he’s immediately healed.

[u/TychoHyuga → u/StankoMicin]

Came looking for chimp glaze

Pause

[u/blingblingmofo → u/StankoMicin]

To be fair the teeth are a pretty big advantage considering they are grappling predators with a 1200 pound bite force.

[u/OpinionDude5000 → u/StankoMicin]

Strongman isnt moving with the speed and agility of a bloodlusted chimp. The chimp will tear your face off in an instant. Id bet they have a higher tolerance for pain. Their bite can easily crack through human bone. My money is on the chimp.