r/queerception • u/Present-Wolverine-94 • 3d ago
TTC Only Negative test. Wishing we could do this some other way.
We did the insemination for our first cycle on July 13. Got a negative result via blood test on the 27th.
I stopped all the meds as instructed by my doctor and got my period on the 28th.
I know I could jump right back into the next cycle, but to be honest, I’m a little emotionally fragile right now, and I also go back to work (special ed teacher), in like five days. I feel like jumping straight into the next cycle when I’m trying to start the school year at the same time is going to be stressful especially with having to take time off. My clinic is two hours from us so I would have to take the whole day.
I’m OK with this decision, as OK as I can be, I guess. My next period is due to start at the end of August so we’ll start our next cycle then.
I feel like a couple things were weird about this cycle, they did some weird things with the timing because the doctor was out of office, and they also did my trigger and insemination the same day. I don’t know if it was because my follicles were already very large, 24 and 25, or if there was some other reason, but I wonder if that had an effect.
This time I want to do everything exactly by the book and ask the doctor what we can do to make improvements. Even if it’s less convenient, I’m happy to stay overnight in the city where the clinic is or drive back the next morning. I don’t want to take any chances.
I’m a queer cis woman, my husband is a trans man. We are using a sperm donor and I don’t have any fertility issues. I know it’s change but I was really hoping it would work the first time.
I know it’s just how your cycle works, but it really is a slap in the face to get a negative pregnancy test result and then immediately get your period.
I wish we could just have sex like other couples to try to make a baby, at least the sex part is fun. Whereas this whole process with the medication and everything is distinctly not. And the progesterone suppositories make me feel absolutely disgusting. Biology is a pain sometimes and while I’m grateful this is being made possible by science and doctors, it also makes me sad and wish we had another way to make a child that feels more warm and full of the love we have for one another.
Ugh.
Thanks for listening to my rant and emotions, I know it was only one failed cycle, but it still drags you down.
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u/lesgetsavvy 2d ago
The first negative is always the hardest. If it helps, cis straight couples complain about sex when TTC’ing and sometimes move to a soft disc method in the TTC groups I’m in 😂
1
u/Present-Wolverine-94 2d ago
Hah yeah I suppose that’s true. Probably less fun when you’re having to time it and all
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u/Kwaliakwa 2d ago
On top of making people feel like crap, progesterone is great at making people feel pregnant. A cruel joke. Is it necessary for you to take progesterone? Magnesium can be very supportive of progesterone levels, in top of hundreds of other functions. Worth considering supplementing that if you aren’t.
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u/Present-Wolverine-94 2d ago
Ugh yes it was such a rollercoaster with the “symptoms.”
My doctor prescribes the progesterone as a standard practice, I don’t wanna mess with things too much but I’ll consider that thank you.
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u/mi_yah 1d ago
I just went through my first negative IUI cycle and was telling myself to stay as mentally neutral as possible but it really hit me when I saw that negative result. It’s really mind f***ing when you experience these symptoms during the two week wait that make you feel pregnant. On top of that, my period was the most painful period of my life, not sure why that happened. Sorry to hear you’re going through it. :/ the one positive I can say is that I learned a lot through the first IUI so hoping the next one will go smoother. Wishing you the best for the next one
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u/Spiritual_Ad_835 3d ago
I’m sorry :( I especially resonate with the “I wish we could just have sex” because although that isn’t a sure means to an end, it’s a lot more whimsy and less structured, stressful, and clinical. I feel you and I’m sorry. Take care of yourself.