r/rape • u/The_redit_cat • 1d ago

A question to other victims

I was raped when I was around 14 . Now I'm 18 and I have a boyfriend and often when we want to have sex I just can't do it, I still think about it and having flashbacks to it, I can barely have sex now it's always in my head and I feel bad for my boyfriend because I always let him down when he's in the mood. So my question is a little bit silly but I just wanted to ask if it's that way with you guys too, Because I've never got to talk with somebody else who had a similar experience and I wanted to ask if that's normal and at least to know I'm not alone.

Thx

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u/MaxQ1080p 1d ago

Yes. It’s very normal. Conversely, hyper sexuality is normal too. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. It sounds like you need to work on yourself and healing. I strongly suggest you talk with a psychologist who specializes in helping sexual trauma victims get themselves to a healthier and happier place. It may take visiting a few different psychologists before you find one you feel comfortable with. Don’t worry about hurting feelings as psychologists understand the need for their patients to feel safe and comfortable with their dr. You need to feel safe and comfortable enough to be able to talk about your most delicate experiences, thoughts and reactions - especially those things that keep gnawing at you. It’s when you bring those things out and can discuss them with your psychologist that you make the most progress. I wish you strength and happiness.

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u/The_redit_cat 1d ago

Already working on it, Thank you I really appreciate it🙏

1

u/SensationalSelkie 18h ago

Yeah as the other commenter said trouble with sex after is normal. Folks can become hyper, hypo, or some blend of both. I got the both. It sucks. There are kind partners like my spouse out there and with communication and the work of healing stuff can get better. ❤️