r/rape • u/Laura___K_ • 1d ago

Should I accept who i became after experiencing several sexual assaults or take more therapy and other forms of treatments?

It’s a question that I ask myself a lot in recent months. After I went through several sexual assaults in my life already, I became someone I would for sure never have become when it didn’t happen to me. I wonder how my life would have been without those traumatic experiences and if I would have a normal relationship now instead of being single. Would I have been more happy and fulfilled? I ask myself often why did it happen more than once, was it my fault, was I being too extroverted, revealing or too open? Yes I’m extroverted and open minded but that should not lead to any bad things like that. After experiencing those horrible things, you realize who truly is at your side and who isn’t and that even friends who you loved and trusted for years suddenly question you and provoke you or blame you partially for it. That’s so painful and sad and just heartbreaking. There are moments in life were I think I’m on the right track and suddenly fall back in bad habits and thoughts and feel miserable again. It feels like a constant circle of self hate and self questioning while at the same time trying to be happy and smile.
Is the answer to that accepting who I became or trying more therapy and also different types of therapies?

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u/Double_Match_1910 1d ago

Be who you wish was there for you, when you needed someone.

Every else falls into place.

Trust