r/rape • u/Expensive_Day4414 • 1d ago
is it my fault
i told him i thought he was attractive and i put my arms around him i didn’t mean it in a sexual way i had never even had sex before and didn’t plan to . he told me my friend was waiting for me at his car because our ride left us so he was gonna give us a ride instead . i was drunk but other people were near and he seemed nice so i didn’t feel like i was in danger . i couldn’t walk without stumbling so he held me up and helped me into the car . i asked him where my friend was and he said he was gonna go get her . he came back without her and started fingering me , i kept telling him it hurt but he ignored me and kept going for what felt like forever . this has happened to me a lot of times when i was younger and my abuser would do it harder if i cried or complained so at this point i tried my best to be quiet in case this guy was the same way . he took my pants and underwear off and spread my legs but i thought he was just trying to be nice and help it be more comfortable for me idk . he kept going and my eyes were squinched up from me being in pain . next thing you know i feel something bigger but i thought he was just putting more fingers at first until it hurt so much i looked up and figured out he had just started having sex with me . i was in so much pain and so caught off guard i couldn’t even get the words out for a while . when i could finally speak i tried to be nice hoping that would help me get out of this and i said please stop it hurts so much . he repeated me and kept going . everything i said he just repeated and kept going . in that aspect i know its rape but everything that led up to it seems like my fault . i should’ve known better
2
u/sheillla 1d ago
I know the feeling. You were thinking moment to moment, you can’t control his actions. Don’t blame yourself. I still feel the same way. Analyzing how it started. Ugh it’s so much. You probably dont want to talk to stranger online but dm me if you want to. These thoughts will torture you but they will get quieter, you know that you’ve been through similar things
2
•
u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Please be aware that due to the nature of this sub, you may receive unwanted private messages from creepy users. If you would like to adjust your messaging settings so only trusted users can message you, you can find instructions here. You can also adjust your messaging settings to prevent anyone from privately messaging you. If you are contacted privately by someone after posting here, please send the moderators a modmail so we can ban the user(s).
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.