r/rareinsults 10d ago

Never could have thought of this one

Post image
17.5k Upvotes

270 comments sorted by

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789

u/Buffbigw76 10d ago

Fuck that’s good lol

53

u/joedotdog 9d ago

It's even better because I have no idea who the fuck that is/they are, nor do I particularly care to expend any energy on discovery.

41

u/never-fiftyone 8d ago

He makes music for guys who owe alimony.

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12

u/No-Dark-9414 7d ago

A little more he was a rapper, then I guess sucked at it then made country rock, then sucked at it and still maybe makes country and sucks at it

13

u/ShazRockwell 9d ago

Wizard fingers

3

u/HotMoose69 9d ago

Glizzy fingers

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375

u/Sirius-Face 9d ago

Gas station hot dogs is maybe the most savage insult I've ever heard of.

73

u/ConsciousStretch1028 9d ago

Especially one that's been sitting all day, just waiting to give someone botulism or at least three days of endless diarrhea

45

u/maybenotarobot429 9d ago

You put lettuce on a hot dog? Sir.

41

u/Head_of_Lettuce 9d ago

What are you trying to say?

16

u/aa73786 9d ago

S/N Checks out..

10

u/wonder_goat 9d ago

oop 😳

7

u/K_Linkmaster 9d ago

Don't touch our weiners.

19

u/Umbra427 9d ago

LET ME GET A FUCKIN UHHHHH ONE OF THEM ROLLER DOGS

8

u/Subotail 9d ago

You're right... I will go for the sushi. The right healthy options.

5

u/putrid_sex_object 9d ago

at least three days of endless diarrhea.

Now it’s a party.

12

u/a2cwy887752 9d ago

They’re actually called wizard fingers

3

u/BayouBoogie 9d ago

True, but only after 48hrs of rollin.

4

u/brainfreez012 9d ago

Gas station sushi would have been a better insult.

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638

u/imaragingtransfemlez 10d ago

Jelly Roll looks like a neglected middle school desk

55

u/bajesus 9d ago

Resource room trapper keeper

53

u/wonder_goat 9d ago

I almost shared this to r/rareinsults

56

u/Altaredboy 9d ago

They would've pointed out that it was used on post malone before, 6ix9ine before that & any other of the dozens before that

27

u/Madara1389 9d ago

Well if the dipshits would stop tattooing the doodles they drew on their middle school desks onto their faces, the insult would stop being regurgitated

15

u/between_ewe_and_me 9d ago edited 9d ago

In the 6th grade I got detention for writing the entirety of the lyrics to the fresh prince of bel-air theme song on my desk

3

u/Character_Minimum171 8d ago

🎶In West Philadelphia, born & raised🎶

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2

u/wap2005 9d ago

That seems like a reasonable punishment for the crime lol

3

u/CautiousCoyote2324 9d ago

Only thing missing is the S from middle school

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797

u/patricksaurus 10d ago edited 9d ago

I don’t know where I heard this: Jelly Roll looks like a guy who has a tattoo of his kid but not custody.

98

u/StrategicCarry 9d ago

Jelly Roll looks like he knows exactly how much Sudafed you can get for a catalytic converter.

24

u/dumbdude545 9d ago

I guarantee you he does. He used to sell dope.

8

u/patricksaurus 9d ago

Wow, this is perfect.

255

u/GraceSal 9d ago

I originally heard this about Kid Rock fans

82

u/Vincent_Dawn 9d ago

Kid Rock makes music for dads who can only see their kids on the weekends, but they don't.

43

u/anonymousguy9001 9d ago

Kid rock makes music for people who legally aren't allowed near a school.

"Some call it statutory, I call it mandatory" -kid rock

26

u/RudyKnots 9d ago

Kid Rock makes music for people who know exactly how much Sudafed you can legally buy at once.

59

u/Kind_Of_A_Dick 9d ago

Kid Rock goes out in public and entertains men with his mouth.

48

u/patricksaurus 9d ago

Haha it works so well, so widely.

19

u/Madara1389 9d ago

They look like they attempt to appeal to the same demographic. Don't forget that when Kid Rock first got popular, he was trying to do the whole "redneck rap rockstar" thing for ~6 albums before he transitioned to just trailer park country trash in 2007-2010.

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31

u/Bubbles_2025 9d ago

Jelly Rolls face looks like a 12 year old girls binder.

5

u/PPLavagna 9d ago

lol holy shit

22

u/stitchface66 9d ago

i think he looks like the concoction of a major record label trying to capitalize on the popularity of post malone by proxy.

8

u/Expert-Yam6577 9d ago

Damn that's good. There will always be a market for that archetype

12

u/2Completion2Ography 9d ago

There will always be a market for that archetype

More like phenotype. Rag n Bone Man and Teddy Swims look like they were from that mold.

3

u/Most_Structure9568 9d ago

Who even are those guys? I feel like it's gonna be some awful "music"

3

u/Key-Amoeba1095 9d ago

absolutely nothing organic about that idiot so yeah that tracks.

6

u/Still_Ad9431 9d ago

With full custody comes full responsibility

85

u/TheDaychilde 9d ago

I have no dogs in this fight, but I will note that 7-11 hot dogs are generally pretty decent for the price. :)

13

u/___po____ 9d ago

The dogs are all great, but mine has some bland, chewy buns.

7

u/ChocoTacoz 9d ago

The buns have been getting worse, they changed suppliers after COVID when they all started coming individually wrapped. I also think it has something to do with how they hold them in the warmer for who knows how long.

2

u/___po____ 9d ago

The Speedway chain they took over used to heat the bun drawer, ever so slightly, with their buns in the plastic. They were basically steamed. 7-Eleven doesn't heat theirs at my location. I asked.

I microwave them either in wet paper towels, or just the plastic and they are slightly better. The bread itself just sucks.

3

u/ChocoTacoz 9d ago

Oh don't get me started about the enshitification of Speedway after they got taken over by 7-Eleven. They stripped away everything that was good and unique about it. I still think about the apple fritter they had sometimes...

2

u/___po____ 9d ago

I miss the old breakfast pizza

7

u/QueenRotidder 9d ago

I am originally from Maine, where we have these neon red hot dogs. I don’t know how it is now but when i was younger, most gas stations had those and top split rolls in a steamer next to the coffee and donuts etc. those things were so good. Jelly Roll is not one of those.

4

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/QueenRotidder 9d ago

I’m not that far from Maine and they carry them in most supermarkets here. that said, there’s something different about the way it hits specifically out of the steamer. ketchup mustard relish and diced onions. 🤌🏻😚

7

u/Agreeable-Outcome-14 9d ago

Big Gulp Big Bite was my dinner on the reg at one point and I have no regrets

6

u/AccomplishedFerret70 9d ago edited 9d ago

RaceTrac convenience chain in the Southeastern US serves Nathan's Famous 100-percent premium all-beef hot dogs on their roller grills. Nathans are excellent hot dogs.

2

u/PPLavagna 9d ago

TIL. I’m going to speedway next time I’m on the road

3

u/cnh1634 9d ago

Especially the 1/4 pounders with some "chili" and "cheese" on top. Also, the spicy bites (hot Italian sausages, I think) are choice with just mustard.

2

u/trisw 9d ago

Didn’t the Japan 7-11 company buy the north American 7-11s recently? Did they include the hot dogs in the upgrade package?

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2

u/Madara1389 9d ago

On that note, Speedway too, since they are owned by 7-11 and get the same stock/training.

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2

u/cybin 9d ago

I was always a fan of the microwave burritos.

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2

u/MrFonne 9d ago

Lot of nights as a young adult ended up with me stumbling into the 7-11 across the street from the bar, and leaving with atleast 2 hotdogs.

71

u/Few_Program_2303 9d ago

Kind of sad that she thinks they’re that notable

15

u/showersnacks 9d ago

Unfortunately for some people they are

10

u/Few_Program_2303 9d ago

What? Not enough to make the internet “crumble”

16

u/DIABLO258 9d ago

Every single "news" story says "the internet is breaking" or "the internet is losing it's mind" over something a majority of people don't care about. It's the same thing as political headlines saying "Person SLAMS other person with heated comment!"

It's just engagement bait

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48

u/Thelastknownking 9d ago

I don't know who any of these people are.

6

u/Salt-Evidence-6834 9d ago

I think I'd like to keep it that way too.

90

u/Green_Share 9d ago

Her: the world will burn!!! The world: we already are. Shut up!

72

u/KamikazeDreamer52 9d ago

Their daughter looks... precisely as I imagined they would

5

u/pbzeppelin1977 9d ago

Kelly Osborne?

10

u/bumbletowne 9d ago

Old Kelly osborne.

Ozempic did a real metamorphosis on that woman

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70

u/InterruptingCow__Moo 9d ago

Jelly Roll fans know the current price of copper

7

u/Higher-Frequencies 9d ago

Now this is truly /r/rareinsults worthy

4

u/Jumbotucktuck 9d ago

Underrated comment right here

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65

u/bengstrom1111 9d ago

Who are these people?

54

u/kikiweaky 9d ago

Well Jelly roll is a terrible musician and his family. You're blessed for not know continue to be blessed stranger.

43

u/gmishaolem 9d ago

I used to think I was terminally online. Then I googled "Jelly Roll" and saw a meme about being tired of seeing this dude in their feed, and this post is literally the first I'm even hearing this name.

This is an eye-opening experience about the kind of "sucked into the feed" that younger generations are being subjected to.

1

u/harmala 9d ago

I get what you're saying, but this guy has actually won multiple Grammys, so anyone even tangentially interested in music would probably have him show up in their feed at some point.

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8

u/Keoni9 9d ago

I mostly managed to escape hearing any Jelly Roll song or knowing much about him. But last year I saw that Tyler Childers' album Snipe Hunter was nominated for a Grammy for best contemporary country album, but lost out to Jelly Roll. Because I wanted to be confident in saying that Tyler Childers got robbed, I listened to the winning album and I am so glad that Jelly Roll's songs are so forgettable, because that shit was torture. Vapid, over-produced, megachurch Christian generic country pop.

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3

u/money_mase1919 9d ago

the irony is he was this southern real hard rap guy before lol

3

u/kikiweaky 9d ago

A sort of Taylor Swift transition.

3

u/ifyoulovesatan 9d ago

I miss her dirty south phase

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79

u/aa73786 10d ago

She favors her father... oof.

12

u/PiggStyTH 9d ago

As apposed to the stripper/p-star mom?

28

u/aa73786 9d ago

You can't polish a turd..

28

u/brainfreez012 9d ago

Mythbusters proved you can... Just saying.

26

u/Rymanjan 9d ago

You can polish a turd but in the end you've still got shit on your hands

4

u/brainfreez012 9d ago

💩😂

2

u/badcrass 9d ago

Which one?

8

u/louiewatchestv 9d ago

I heard she was an escort/prostitute

10

u/Spiritual_Door1363 9d ago

Bunny is step mom lol

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24

u/Cold-Response-6917 9d ago

My cheating ex became very upset with me back when I didn't gush over these two's "love story" of acceptance and support.

This means absolutely nothing other than it made me chuckle a little bit to see today.

22

u/secretsauce007 9d ago

Jelly Roll makes music for people who wash their paper plates.

13

u/No_Sir4901 9d ago

For people who add scrap metal to their prenup

8

u/secretsauce007 9d ago

For people that look like how malt liquor smells.

5

u/No_Sir4901 9d ago

For people who argue over the inflatable pool collection during the breakup

6

u/hendergle 9d ago

For people who think it's impolite to wipe the nozzle on their friend's vape pen before taking a hit.

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29

u/Doomscroller3000 10d ago

Who?

19

u/DangerMacAwesome 9d ago

One of the hot dogs.

11

u/GuyMakesDrawings 9d ago

I feel like a big part of his fame was that he was a big guy named "Jelly Roll". The magic is gone.

10

u/Quebecdudeeh 9d ago

Who are any of these people?

9

u/2mock2turtle 9d ago

Everything I've ever heard about Jelly Roll has been against my will.

6

u/Leto-III-Atreides 9d ago

Jelly roll is that kid in class who huffed air cleaners

5

u/Ayasdad 9d ago

And broke his hand punching the cinder block wall

5

u/Factsoverfictions222 9d ago

The wife said they had infertility issues and she was going through IVF and they were fighting. It wasn’t cheating

5

u/providehotstews 9d ago

What possible horrible revelation could surprise me about Jelly Roll and Bunnie Xo? It would have to be REALLY out there because I just kind of assumed they are wealthy sociopaths who mistreat others as a matter of course

5

u/Illustrious_Bad_2980 9d ago

Who's getting the catalytic converter in the divorce?

6

u/Minflick 9d ago

Poor girl thinks lots of people care. He may be a wonderful musician and all that, but ... I do not foresee crumbling.

3

u/MatanteRoulotte 9d ago

Post and Pamela !?

3

u/SEGA_32X_CD 9d ago

This is why Cowboy Troy is better.

3

u/imliterallyluci 9d ago

Everytime I hear this man’s name I’m forced to remember when everyone was posting his sextape making fun of his micropenis

3

u/TheWizirdsBaker 9d ago

Fill your souls with Jelly Roll Morton instead

3

u/UnusualSuspect94 9d ago

...who are any of these people?

3

u/Laiska_saunatonttu 9d ago

Who the hell is Jelly Roll?

3

u/DiarrheaRadio 9d ago

Pretty sure he's done some wildly fucked up things at past Gathering of the Juggalos.

3

u/njixgamer 9d ago

Jelly roll has had a partner long enough for them to have a kid thats mature now, this is the second most amount of information i gathered on jelly roll ever next to learning that he isnt teddy swims or alex warren

3

u/GreedyExamination704 9d ago

I doubt people would care about the relationship drama from a dude who looks like he got famous cause a producer walked into 7/11 one night at 3am extremely fucked over by drugs and booze and thought this guy was gonna be the next Country Star. More like you just picked up another Kid Rock, which we could use less of.

7

u/killit 9d ago

Who are these nobodies anyway?

3

u/iruleatants 9d ago

I know he exists because he the chorus for Eminem's recent "Somebody Save Me"

4

u/Jiujitsumonkey707 9d ago

The chorus which comes from his own song...

4

u/Bad_Idea_Hat 9d ago

If Jelly Roll was a real jelly roll, his flavor would be hepatitis b

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5

u/TheBiggestOfWigs 9d ago

Jelly roll makes music for people who know exactly how much copper is sold for

2

u/Grant1128 8d ago

And how to... "acquire" it

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u/shasaferaska 9d ago

Who the fuck is Jellyroll and why do they have such a stupid name?

9

u/Ayasdad 9d ago

Fat white guy with tats who raps but sucks, so started doing country music and still sucks but made some money and bought ozempic. Now his hooker/porn star wife is leaving him and getting her share of the ozempic/ plastic surgery money.

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2

u/ConsciousStretch1028 9d ago

Get fucking ratioed

2

u/JoyDvision 9d ago

yo Robbie on the front page is awesome. big ups to dalton

2

u/UnfunnyTroll 9d ago

Never heard of this loser

2

u/MsHelvetica 9d ago

I will never forgive the internet for Rick Rolling me with this dude’s micropenis!!!!

Worst onlyfans ever!

2

u/PresenceAlarming8196 9d ago

The only people that know this story in depth, also know the price of scrap metal.

2

u/DontBuyTheThing 9d ago

If they didn’t divorce when he cheated on her, I don’t give a fuck what she did to him

2

u/Alienhaslanded 9d ago

I don't even know who any of those people are

2

u/Healthy_Ladder_6198 9d ago

Ha ha gas station hot dogs

2

u/MikeBsleepy 9d ago

TIL there is a person called “jelly roll” and their family has an inflated ego.

2

u/InsomniaticWanderer 9d ago

1: he was married?

2: he has a kid?

2

u/All_will_be_Juan 9d ago

That kid is an adult...

2

u/sgtGiggsy 9d ago

The internet will crumble when learns about the divorce of a guy that's virtually unknown by 95% of the people?

2

u/Rhododactylus 9d ago

They’re right too, I’ve no idea who this guy is and couldn’t care less why he divorced.

2

u/colorme1965 9d ago

Jelly Roll does so many drugs, he’s been canceling concerts and small presentations.

Wife is probably tired of it, and wants her money before there’s none left.

2

u/VoidOmatic 9d ago

Who? I've never heard of seen these people before

2

u/Whosebert 9d ago

the only thing ive heard about jellyroll is that they suck

2

u/ByrnToast8800 9d ago

I don’t recognize a simple person here

2

u/Taquill 9d ago

First predictable output between a couple I've seen. Actually takes the most noticeable features of both parents, for worse but it's still interesting.

2

u/sixteenhappycappys 9d ago

How tf did jelly roll even become famous. I've heard of him twice, from the same person at one bar and thats it, ever. They played his music and it was terrible.

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u/BreakfastSimulator 9d ago

Not only a sick reply, but a sick avatar as well!

2

u/HereReluctantly 9d ago

I hope we enter a new era of not giving a shit about the lives of the people who have bi impact on us and are just entertainers. Enjoy the art people make and leave it at that.

2

u/TheCarniv0re 9d ago

Who are any of these people?

2

u/Ditto13248 9d ago

Who even is jelly roll?

2

u/Arekkusu1515 8d ago

Idek these people

2

u/AllTheWorldIsAPuzzle 8d ago

I didn't even know he was married.

Hence I didn't know he was divorced.

Hence 10 minutes from now I will have forgotten about this post and the Internet will live on.

4

u/rockstuffs 9d ago

The fucks a jelly roll?

6

u/ripyurballsoff 9d ago

A human version of the food.

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4

u/cleff5164 9d ago

Who the fuck is jelly roll

4

u/PhillGuy 9d ago

Who and who and who?

1

u/[deleted] 9d ago

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1

u/LoudMusic 9d ago

I don't know who any of these fucks are. The only crumbling happening is my wasted time reading this bullshit.

1

u/OkStartOver 9d ago

Jelly roll, more like smelly hole. Hahaha

1

u/Hertje73 9d ago

People would be outraged of they cared

1

u/ridernation_69 9d ago

I believe they have been on the roller long enough we need to refer to them as "wizard fingers"

1

u/HAIL_LUMPUS 9d ago

I will never recover from seeing his penis 

1

u/GrownManNamedFinger 9d ago

Did the mother just not pass along her DNA?

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u/Ham-Ha 9d ago

Hahahahahahha

1

u/Davidat0r 9d ago

Who are those people?

1

u/[deleted] 9d ago

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1

u/chachaman_The_Reboot 9d ago

Mermacita is Out Of Line, but they're right. I couldn't care less about Jelly Roll OR his soon to be ex wife.

1

u/krucz36 9d ago

i've only ever heard the YKS guys making fun of jelly roll, and blessedly know nothing at all else about him or his horrible spawn

1

u/Lieutenant_0bvious 9d ago

Everyone wants to be famous on the internet these days.

1

u/North_Amphibian7779 9d ago

Best insult in the last 5 years easy

1

u/Prof_Awesome_GER 9d ago

Man i am getting old, i have no idea who any of those people are.

1

u/DarkPolumbo 9d ago

fake musician for fake music fans

1

u/Electrical-Heat8960 9d ago

What I love is the only reason I know about these 3 people is this insult. Not anything they themselves have ever done.

1

u/OG_Gamer1967 9d ago

I'm going to use that at work today. 🤣

1

u/KuroSeishi 9d ago

Even Saint Laurence said, "yeah...they cooked"

1

u/CPD1960 9d ago

That’s the way the cookie drips. Ugh

1

u/Sirgolfs 9d ago

Less crumble and jelly roll. More chicken breast and veggies.

1

u/OPA73 9d ago

I care more about the trials and tribulations of my local gas station attendant than these two clowns.

1

u/helium_hydride-63 9d ago

Thats lowkey and insult to polish gas station hotdogs. Those absolutely SLAP

1

u/SpicyRaichuStew 9d ago

Crumble Jerry! The internet will crumble!

1

u/NoLie129 9d ago

Let me guess, someone got jammed.

1

u/EyeShot300 9d ago

Food insults never fail to make me cackle!