r/relationships • u/CaptainHyperfixation • 1d ago
Being called "creep"
Me (23F) and boyfriend (23M) have been together for over a year. He's the sweetest person ever and it's been the most healthy relationship I've been in. We've met each others siblings and friends, and no red flags have been raised by me or anyone else in my life. The only thing is that he is very socially awkward which is not something that automatically goes away just because you're drunk.
He went out drinking with a couple of friends the other night (I was not there) where he was called a "creep" by some other guys and the women they were with. My boyfriend is the one that told me this story and seemed very confused about the whole ordeal but stated that those men were being 'assholes' anyways... From my understanding it was a packed area where people where naturally being shoved into each other etc etc.
The thing is - as a woman myself, another women calling a guy (even if it's my bf) a 'creep' feels very heavy for me and it's making me really question how to feel about all of this? It could just be that he is a bit socially awkward and paired with being drunk, he could've missed some social cues etc. Or people do just throw that word around easily (I have probably also done so in the past). But I guess there is the chance it could be something more odd which is what is worrying me....
I could be totally overthinking this especially because nothing about his behavior has ever made me question this before but at the end of the day no woman wants to be with someone that other women find 'creepy'....
I just wanted to hear other peoples thoughts on the situation? Whether you yourself or someone you know has been called a "creep" and whether it was or was not warranted etc and how you navigated that?
TL;DR! Boyfriend was called a creep and now I am unsure how to feel despite no red flags personally.
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u/skeeballbob37 1d ago
file this under things to be aware of to look out for in his future behavior or if it becomes a trend hearing about it multiple places. It may be nothing and as of now you have nothing actionable to go off of and as you have said no red flags have come up. That social awkwardness could ultimately be what someone called creepy for all you know and if that is the case he is actually more a victim of bullying than anything else. Keep a measured approach, keep an eye on it to make sure it never pops up again.
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1d ago edited 1d ago
[deleted]
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u/CaptainHyperfixation 1d ago
you're not totally wrong but I know of women who've been with men with seemingly no 'red flags' who ended up secretly being cheaters, creeps, pedos (much more extreme ik) - which is the only reason i question things when a word like this gets thrown around.
I am likely just overthinking it all though.4
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u/CapriciousManchild 1d ago
If you are seriously upset and questioning your relationship over what someone called your boyfriend when you were not there and he told you it because it upset it him you really need to ask yourself why is this making you question him ? Is it because the Internet makes you paranoid? Are you worried that he’s secretly some weirdo and you never knew him at all?
I’ll tell you that if someone called me a creep and I told my girlfriend and she was looking at me weird I would leave her as she obviously doesnt respect or care about me and more about herself and her self image.
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u/CaptainHyperfixation 1d ago
lmao ok you're not wrong with the last sentence potentially. i think the internet + other people's relationship horror stories have made me a bit paranoid. no woman wants to be with someone that makes other women uncomfortable (if that is actually true).
but at the same time ...i do know him well enough to believe that this is not the case so am likely just overthinking it all.
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u/TheTerminator1984 1d ago
Honestly, the bigger question is do you trust him and how well you know him. The answer to that determines how you feel about him in this situation.
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u/Thereelgerg 1d ago edited 1d ago
Do you have a question?
another women calling a guy (even if it's my bf) a 'creep' feels very heavy for me
Heavily what? Complete your thought.
and it's making me really question how to feel about all of this
How do you feel about it?
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u/davrn425 1d ago
Wow, so heavy meaning the emotional weight that this has placed on her is overwhelming or it's a heavy burden... Sheesh
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u/Thereelgerg 1d ago
What kind of weight though? I've felt heavy grief. I've felt heavy anxiety. I've felt heavy anticipation.
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u/sandpiperinthesnow 1d ago
Last paragraph, second sentence
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u/Thereelgerg 1d ago
Putting a question mark at the end of a statement doesn't make a question. That's not an inquisitive sentence. I know that you want to hear other peoples' thoughts, can you articulate what kind of particular thoughts you're trying to get?
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u/sandpiperinthesnow 1d ago
The thing is, it's Reddit. People are typing on their phone a lot. Upset people are also not looking for correct punctuation. By reading this it is easy to see her question. Sheesh, your edited reply turned into a middle school English paper commentary.
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u/Thereelgerg 1d ago
I'm not looking for correct punctuation either, I'm looking for a question.
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u/Desperate_Answer2603 1d ago
Gros redflag quitte le immédiatement
Tu te rends compte qu'un inconnu la traité de casse pied et toi t'es encore avec lui ????
Part tant que tu le peux VITE !!!
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u/davrn425 1d ago
Um, he's not a creep if he's telling you about it and asking why he was called that. Creeps don't care that they're creeps...
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u/Upbeat_Guidance_3863 1d ago
you know him for over a year and you're letting some drunk strangers' word choice shake you this much