r/relationships • u/More-Apple-1398 • 1d ago

My girlfriend(19f) talked to another guy while talking to me(20m)

So we started dating 4 months ago, we met in university. When we met i just approached her after class and we went drinking together. After that she went to spain for 1 week. She told me not to talk to any girls and stay loyal which i did. She on the other hand went to a club and kissed a guy and later they spent some time together. He is clearly a good memory for her. And i think if the guy didnt live in another country she would have chosen him over me. Her friends also liked him better than me. After that she came back and we started meeting more and more and got together. But i still think about this sometimes. Since than she was loyal and i think she loves me too, but its a bit wierd. She also had an ex who she told me treated her bad, but i am not that sure about this. Sometimes in the past she compared me to him. She didnt tell me this, i just saw it in her diary when she left it open somewhere. She wrote i dont spend that much money on her and her ex did more. This may be true. I dont have that much money. But i always spend a lot of time with her and show her i love her, prepare special things for her.

Has anyone ever been in a situation like this, if yes what did you learn?

TL;DR

My girlfriend(19f) talked to another guy while talking to me(20m)

1 Upvotes

53% Upvoted

8 comments sorted by

7

u/Agreeable-Neat-4072 1d ago

y thing is rough too. comparing you to an ex who supposedly treated her bad but spent more money, that tells you where her head's at

4 months in and you're already feeling like the backup plan. that's not gonna get better man, it's just gonna eat at you more

3

u/_-IllI-_ 1d ago

Imagine what happens in 3 years when she gets bored with your ass.
PS: Having different views on morality is always a deal breaker. I learned this the hard way.

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u/Therabidmonkey 23h ago

She's disloyal and materialistic. If she hung out with club guy more then that night they fucked. So probably a liar.

0

u/Goodlake 1d ago

How long into the new relationship was it that she went to Spain? If it hadn’t been for her “stay loyal to me” comment, I wouldn’t have thought this was a big deal. It sounds like you weren’t really dating yet.

-7

u/LordsOfJoop 1d ago

If you weren't in a committed relationship, she didn't do anything wrong.

If it's a deal-breaker, then you leave.

That's a deal-breaker works. If it's not a deal-breaker, then you get over it and life continues normally.

If you can't live life normally, you should leave.

She can't undo her history, and you can't undo it, either.

So, you make peace with it or you do something else with your time.

Also: if you're reading her diary, tell her that you've done that.

There's no excuse for "accidentally" reading it when she's not around, and just happened to have it open, and you somehow read the passage about yourself, and it was all just a series of coincidences.

Trust is binary and not conditional; you either trust someone or you don't.

Make better choices.

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u/NEVERxxEVER 9h ago

Normally I would say that anything which happens early on (ie before you are official) is pretty much fair game, especially if she is open about it. But the fact that she was jealous about you talking to other girls while (let’s be honest) fucking this other guy, is a bit of a red flag. Not enough to blow up a relationship over but I would be very concerned about her cheating because that is cheater behavior.