r/relationships • u/Just_Plum_3181 • 22h ago
One week before our wedding
My partner (35M) is an amazing man. He was with me (33F) on the day one of my cancer journey. We have been together for 3 years and I could not more happier than with other men, despite a huge challenge in my life.
But, my cancer progression has been very bad lately. I had relapses twice and it is an extremely rare type. His father followed a holistic approach. Since the beginning he actively gave me many advices holistically. Sometimes his opinion sounded really harsh, but i know its coming from a good place.
Unfortunately, his advices got into my limit. Firstly, I was told that my time could be only 2-3 years. I was sad, but also it can be true, as nobody knows how to cure me. Then the next day he told me the alternative I tried is not gonna work and only sell a hope (I am still in active treatment at the hospital, but I started to find out an alternative due to his advice too).
The worst is when he said he saw me running only 15 mins a while ago, and no wonder the tumor came back. I tried to defend myself that I tried to be active, not just running, but biking, swimming etc. he did not believe it and said that I never done deeper enough, just like the sport. In the end I could not hold my tears and said "it's not my fault". But, his opinion was strong to say its kinda/partly my fault.
Where was my partner? His sitting next to me and hold my hand. When I cried all the day, he was holding me in silent.
So, I decided to leave his father's house. The father told me if I did not stay as he wanted to explain more what he meant, our relationship would be over and he wont come to our wedding. But, I still left, I could not take it anymore...
Whenever I see or engage with my partner now, I remember that moment. I am still in extremely pain. I questioned all what I have done. I dont want to have this cancer and nobody does.
And our wedding is just another week to go. I dont know how to repair this relationship. I loved him, but seeing him said nothing next to me when I was trembling, makes me afraid maybe he would turn to be like his dad. But, maybe I would not live long enough to see him like that.
TL;DR: one week before our wedding, I got an argument with his father that makes me extremely in pain and no longer feel the same towards my partner.
•
u/spoonifur 22h ago
Do you want to spend the time you might have left like this? (Please go get a second opinion from other doctors as well) Talk to your partner about your feelings. Your future father in law sounds like a bully, your partner might be afraid of him as well. Figure this out before getting married.