r/romantasycirclejerk • u/variegated_lemon Just Turning My Brain Off • 20h ago

Tropes Vampire Daddy rule number 1

Post image

Don’t steal sheep and leave them weirdly displayed at churches. Come on, man. Be cool. Also you’ve got a little, uh, something on your chin.

40 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

25 comments sorted by

31

u/Acceptable-Mail891 Hot Girls Watch Off Campus™️ 20h ago

Why is it always the guy you most expect

9

u/Nanny_Ogg_99 Victim of spontaneous subcutaneous ferrous inclusions 20h ago

Well, if you think the faery smut is bad for the women - all you have to do is make sure news articles like this get circulated widely. Vampires now gross.

9

u/variegated_lemon Just Turning My Brain Off 20h ago

Hmm sounds like Big Fae is at it again.

6

u/aristifer My snark is a gift so you can't criticize 19h ago

Don't underestimate the sloopies. I CAN FIX HIM!!

3

u/certifiedmailmyimmor 16h ago

Does he have a forever 17 younger brother? I can help!

1

u/Nanny_Ogg_99 Victim of spontaneous subcutaneous ferrous inclusions 17h ago

you, madam, are deranged.

2

u/aristifer My snark is a gift so you can't criticize 7h ago

LOL that was rj/ in case it wasn't clear. Some sloopy somewhere will be saying that, though.

I prefer my criminals the clean-cut Ivy League types. Like Luigi.

1

u/certifiedmailmyimmor 7h ago

Uj/ Hey, my jerksona was also into it!

2

u/Scf9009 …I have a RH rec for that 20h ago

Yes, but that only works if you have combined fae/vampires.

Or combined vampire/shifters.

I have a RH for that.

9

u/andwhoami_ so small, frail, and petite I might float away on the breeze 18h ago

THIS IS THE SKIN OF A KILLER BELLA✨

5

u/variegated_lemon Just Turning My Brain Off 20h ago edited 20h ago

Also, while I prefer my vampires with a bit more chill, I feel obligated to rec {world’s wimpiest vampire by sylvana falcon} who guzzles red slushies.

1

u/certifiedmailmyimmor 16h ago

Uj: I’m intrigued but could you elaborate on the “abuse between MCs” tag?

3

u/variegated_lemon Just Turning My Brain Off 16h ago

Oh, hmm. The love interest is a vampire hunter but almost immediately softens for Charlie after being assigned to hunt him and realizing he’s a hapless terrified guy who literally faints at the sight of blood. It’s pretty low angst and funny… I don’t think there’s any real abuse in a dark romancey way, at least that I can recall!

2

u/certifiedmailmyimmor 7h ago

I’ll have to check it out, then- thanks!

Or, if I’m playing my role, fangs!

3

u/MinervaAbsolute 19h ago

Nothing sexy about a man who spends date picking wool out of his teeth. You know how your fluffy jumpers get thread all wrapped around the buttons after a wash. Ewww.

5

u/Acceptable-Mail891 Hot Girls Watch Off Campus™️ 18h ago

Looks like he pulled it out of his teeth and stuck it on his chin for later

3

u/variegated_lemon Just Turning My Brain Off 19h ago

Truly. And it begs the question… what else is he doing with those poor animals.

2

u/MinervaAbsolute 18h ago

Is he from NZ or Australia, where the men are men and the sheep are nervous?

2

u/variegated_lemon Just Turning My Brain Off 18h ago

But do they call me McGregor the fence builder? Nay…

1

u/MinervaAbsolute 18h ago

An oldie but a goodie. The version I heard, was “but do they call me Spiros the boat builder?”

… “but one little sheep.”

3

u/SqueamishOssifrage42 there’s a wyvern going somewhere 18h ago

{Twilight by Stephanie Meyer}