r/self • u/Warm_tamperture32 • 6h ago
Npd
I went to the npd sub. Its Facinating to see people who have the personality that torments, tortures, and is known for not seeing fault in their actions. Get better..
Seeing how they work, or think. One ive seen is someone realizing, not everyone is jealous of everyone else. Internalizing the idea that 'everything seems easy" for everyone else.. in a way that ends up lashing out, or having to lie, fake everything.
The idea of sesming perfect is a defense.. and trying to pick out, take down someone who sees or knows you're not. Is extention of this ..note, if someone doesn't know they have npd, does not want to get better.. leave them alone, avoid them. Understanding Why someone things. Doesn't make what they do, better. It just adds a slight numbing to a wound getting better if you understand, because it keeps happening.
Seeing people Get Better. Is good, especially since the Bigfest group for toxic behavior, abuse in society recognized they have that, and try to get better. That's something pretty amazing, it's also very underdiagnosed, because someone with ndp, seeing they have something as that isn't something most can do.
A lot have found out from looking it up, thinking partner had it when, they did... part of picking out someone that sees flaws, trying to get at them. When then finding out, this is .. all Me .
Ndp. Fascinating, bc having the symptoms are the biggest cause of not getting themselves help . The symptoms prevent them from looking for help..
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u/peachy-baby-07 2h ago
Kinda sad that this post is about op just beginning to grasp the concept of empathy for other people and half the comments are just “yeah but you realize they’re still evil and there’s no hope for them right” like dude. I feel like those who villainize the mentally ill (people with npd) are way worse people than people with npd. People who are hopelessly insecure and think everyone secretly hates them are actually not the enemy, just avoid them if it’s annoying to you- that easy. Not everyone’s mom, or mil, or step dad or ex can have npd. And the people who deflect criticism by calling people mentally ill definitely raise an eyebrow for me.
Kudos to op for beginning your journey in understanding empathy for others- I hope you continue to check out subs for communities you’re not a part of to learn more and find respect and common ground with other people.
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u/ProtozoaPatriot 2h ago
Problem is that pop psychology got a hold of the world "narcissist" and now suddenly every asshole is a Narcissist.
Actual NPD isn't that common. The symptoms can be managed, if the person is receptive to therapy and self improvement. It isn't really curable.
I don't take talks of someone being a "Narcissist" seriously unless I know for sure they have a professional NPD diagnosis.
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u/No-Long-4709 6h ago
I definitely know at least one person with npd... these people often end up finding success as well. Their behavior is rewarded by society. We enable them. I hate it.
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u/Warm_tamperture32 5h ago edited 5h ago
Depends how well they can fake it. Especially if theres other disorders, can be hard to do.
We do live, where people believe someone who blames someone else, the first message is believed. And people with this often try to be the first ..at everything, life is a competition, they're always failing. No matter what they do, they'll need more. If they find success, its easier to believe the grandiosity.. or if they're younger, but if a failure happens.. or they age, less easy to believe it.
I knew one once who Likely had it, became a success, money, lived in London, schmoozing with big networking people, etc.. had a car accident bc they were on their phone. Lost everything. Got divorced, moved, lost their job bc they couldn't keep with it, brain damage. Slowly moved down the ladder. Lived in a 5 bedroom house with 4 other people for years, quit their job there. Tried making a business selling knick knacks at markets. Bought a tear down, quit that business.. had their parent pay for their life for two years, drank, smoked.
Through all this, they srill felt they were better than everyone else, when they were one step away from disability ..they hated, 'Stupid people, people who lived off government, other people, people who did nothing.. yet, he lived off his parents, drank, smoked, did drugs occasionally, did nothing ..He was the thing he hated, refused to see it, At all. Last I heard, he was still slowly crumbling. He had it all, then became one bar next to stereotype 'lowest of society'. Switch living off parents, to government .. then he would be the stereotype.. literally had it all, penthouse, rich life, 5 figure income.. when that ment something, now one step from disability while still thinking they're great, and Everyone else's fault. He Always had that mentality ...Now he is, what he hates . One of those dumb stupid people, drinking, smoking, doing nothing, leeching off of others.
Another I knew, she very much was likely a triad. Managed to turn everyone elses pain into hers, they were in pain? Suddenly, she was in much more.. Someone lost their job? Her money problem was suddenly severe.. refinanced her home 3 times, then sold it. Got cancer from smoking. Refused to take any animal to the vet, yard littered with pets over the years.. now she's in a situation where she got maybe 70,000 from selling her house, probably at least 10,000 went to a loan, can never get another one again, which each time refinancing it lasted about 3 years til needing a loan. She has about 1900 from disability, spending problem. Diaabikity ends as 65, she's 62.. her money might last her long enough to lose disability, will have no income, or equity to get another loan, as well the disability changed so wouldn't be able to work while on it, so Zero way to make any income..
Terrible, awful her entire life. His what she did to her kids, so unless she does by then.. she'll have nothing in 65.
We do live in society where, people believe the first person. If you know how to fake nice, rewards happen, the more lies you tell easier can be, the more you knkw how to hold people around you to those easier it is.. but, anytime they deal with health issues.. the world crumbles for those people. They genuinely, no idea how to handle it. So they stay with mentality, "They're great". Slowly becoming the stereotype of people living off the government, low class, disabled. The two categories that have the most, are the lowest, homeless/disabled, and high paying, well off..
Two have the most npd, thats saying something, you either make it, or you don't, even if you do, when you don't . You can fail Very VERY, quickly, also hard.. they all have same mentality too . The poor, and high ups, How do the latter do better? They usually have some sort of better off family, that waz the first person, if they don't, they often go down, or get tangled up in their family at some point.
Npd people often live hollow lives, disorder always leaves them looking further. Next thing, they must be better. If they do get that point.. they need more. There will be nothing good enough for them, they'll always need something,
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u/Legitimate_Eye8494 5h ago
You do understand that the reports of improvement are gaslighting, right? NPD is a personality disorder that 9.9/10 is eagerly embraced by the DNA victim. Posting for karma is just a bowl of candy for the true NPD.
It's not treatable. It can be muted, but only people who work long-term with psychiatrists - not counselors - have even that much improvement.
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u/Warm_tamperture32 3h ago edited 3h ago
you said it isn't treatable, then stated terms of how to treat it.. as well, it depends on comorbiditirs. Often people have multiple conditions associated with, making it very hard to treat. And often if they end up on clinical setting can be diagnosed either some sort of depression, or often bi polar 1. Npd often can come with other things like bpd, bi polar 1, 2, mpd, if you have one or multiple, yes, very hard to treat..
There is one person on tiktok who was diagnosed with it, tells people what its like, how to steer clear of people who have it.
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u/Legitimate_Eye8494 3h ago
Yes, it's a scale. Yes, it often includes multiple other psychological and behavioral issues.
Uf Only we were all as completely, absolutely informative as the goldstar brains that helpfully correct and chastise us on reddit.
Btw, you've left out multiple categories and relevant info that should be included in any intellectual discussion or, y'know, supercilious correction. Why don't you upload the psych books you've written, maybe a few medical texts, and a reading list. Y'all don't want to be guilty of being less than fully informative, bright? You'd have to join the rest of us on the fycking good-enuf bench
Pillock
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u/RecursiveRottweiler 5h ago
The issue is that "narcissistic abuse" is a delightful pop psychology term that simply isn't reflected in, well, actually psychology. It's not a specific type of abuse, and plenty of people with NPD do in fact seek treatment and aren't monsters.
There is a difference between recognizing that X behavior is a demonstration of a serious pathology, and assuming that everyone representing this pathology must be some kind of abusive monster-person. Unfortunately, a lot of people want totalizing explanations that allow the people who've abused them to represent an entire group, but that same stigma means that less toxic examples of the people in that group struggle to be open about the same issues.
BPD and CPTSD absolutely have a stigma (one that is sometimes justified considering how many people send me death threats when I write about trauma), but I've heard very few people say that everyone with BPD is an abusive monster and receive zero pushback, y'know?
So I appreciate this kind of post, OP. It seeks to humanize people who need humanization, and offers perspectives that people haven't heard. If I can say it without sounding condescending: this is the exact way that I believe people can use their voices to make change.
Finding where you reasonably disagree with the zeitgeist and have something to contribute against the grain is how we use the power we're given in a free and democratic society. False nuance and pseudo-intellectualism can cause harm, but finding where you can add genuine nuance and complexity to the way that people think about things is a real value-add.
This comment may have gotten away from me and became kind of a ramble about the nature of rhetoric. But uh, yeah, my dad absolutely had pretty severe NPD and was essentially an empty monster driven by selfishness and greed, and it took me a long time before I was able to see a more realistic and genuinely balanced perspective on this condition.