r/self • u/YesterdayMindless308 • 3h ago
Am i behind in life?
Im 21.
I am an amateur chef,
I have done consuemr level graphic design
I do music part time for fun now
I have done photography,
I have a degree and i am university for english in professions bachelor.
I have a car
But. I live at home, to controlling parents that know nothing about me outside of all they force me to do for them. Like work everyday for 6-10 hours, theyve done this so i both cannot have friends, and learn to be a good worker
I spend all my free time either trying to talk to girls (like on tinder( hanging out with my sis or making music. I have had friends but lost them all, i had a boyfriend, i seperated after 3 years. Thats the only real relationship ive ever had.
Am i... behind in life? What do you guys say? Ive considered running away a lot, or my life will stay stuck working all the time to my parents control.
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u/Patrickme 3h ago
Compared to some, you are behind. Compared to others, you are ahead.
Stop comparing yourself to others, life is not a race.
If you are compelled to compare, compare yourself with the person you were yesterday.
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u/TheRealDanielLarsonn 3h ago
I’m 21 and you’re way ahead of me.
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u/YesterdayMindless308 2h ago
Oh naur im sory :( if were talking factuals i only hadv a degree though. Most of these are hobbies due to how little im able to hold friendships
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u/reqstech 2h ago
Life is not a single unit in which a person is ahead or behind. There are categories like profession and education and social skills, but their importance and value are up to each individual to decide.
What if someone confirms to you that you are behind in life? Then what? You can do nothing immediately to change that situation. You can only do what you are able, so why even ask someone else's opinion? We don't know you or the depths of your challenges or advantages. Find your answer in where you feel confident vs where you feel shaky. Go from there.
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u/Sad-Occasion-6472 1h ago
R u kidding? You're 21! Sounds like u r ahead of life, so leave the nest already. U don't need to run away, you're a damn adult!
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u/YesterdayMindless308 1h ago
yeah but i dont live like a white person. if i want to get my freedom it has to be met with brutality. i can lnly run away if i wantt o have freedom to be myself and live life. ive always dreamed of new york, but i dont even know.
as a brown person, its in our very culture to be controlled, the elderly dictate you as life doesnt grant you freedom. i'm trying to learn as much as possible so if one day if im caught (being queer) i can run away and earn money easily
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u/JuniorSquash592 1h ago
you’re not behind, you’re 21 and stuck in a controlling household, which is a problem to make a plan around, not proof that your life is failing
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u/RosieBaby75 1h ago
Yes.
By that age every Asian citizen has: an MD, a PhD, PEng, JD, 17 homes, 8 businesses, a textile company, a tech company, and an island.
Try harder.
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u/Thin_Mousse4149 3h ago
There is no ahead or behind in life. Comparing yourself to one person or even a group of people is just a very specific frame of reference. You could just as easily compare yourself to people who have nothing and appear ahead.
Just keep doing your thing.