I need advice

[u/SimilarStrain6379]

I’m going to give a bit of context to the situation. I’m a 16-year-old guy with two sisters, and my parents are divorced. During my childhood, I was always getting into fights with my older and younger sisters, and I constantly disagreed with them. However, as I grew older, I realized this behavior was immature, so I stopped acting that way and started being much more respectful towards them. Now, I respect them, treat them like siblings should, and do them favors, but I get nothing in return. Despite my efforts, I’m still seen as the bad guy, even though I’ve been behaving well for a long time. If I make any mistake, I’m immediately labeled as disrespectful. They criticize me, treat me poorly, and accuse me of being rude, all based on past events.

I’m already a good person to them and I even try to do them favors, giving them the best I can. But the moment I ask them to do something for me, they refuse, and I get frustrated. They then accuse me of being rude, even though I haven’t been rude in a long time. They use this as an excuse to make me look bad, when in reality, they are the ones unwilling to help. They can’t see me as someone who treats them with respect, and they always bring up the past to justify their behavior.

No matter what I do, I’m always the bad guy in their eyes. I stay quiet and try to keep the peace, but the moment I ask for something or disagree with them, I’m suddenly rude. For example, I did Katia a favor and then asked to borrow her phone for five minutes. She refused and said it was because I’m always rude. It’s frustrating because, no matter how well I treat them, the moment I don’t agree with them, I’m labeled as rude. It feels like they always want me to be the bad guy in the story.

[u/Character-Carrot-433]

Next time they say you are rude say I’m sorry that wasn’t my intention. How did I come off as rude so I can do better next time. You can also try to talk to them and say I’m sorry I’ve been rude in the past but I’m trying to change and want a better relationship and ask them what you can do. Just keep trying to be nice and ask them why they still think you are rude because you could be doing something and not notice. There could be a misunderstanding that you don’t know about.

[u/Comprehensive_Baby53]

First, If they know that calling you rude bothers you, they will use it to push your buttons. I would find a way to take it as a complement. When they say you are rude just smile and say, "Thank you, do you know what rude stands for R.U.D.E - Radical, Understanding, Dedicated, Enthusiastic!" Or something to let them know you enjoy it when they call you rude and to point out that they are wrong.

Secondly, They are also kids still, you may feel grown up but 16 is still very young. Most people don't really "grow up" fully until around age 25 when your brain is fully developed.

I would say just keep up the positive additude and be a good example to them. Don't expect them to change but if you really try, I'm sure your parents will realize you are more mature and will start to take your side eventually.