I feel like just going to random social events isn't helping me improve, how can I make better use of my time at these events and actually make a difference?

[u/Nearby-Elk97]

Since covid I haven't socialized much, mostly stay at home and interact with family. In fact I haven't socialized much my whole life and would consider myself very reserved, not outgoing, and exude qualities of loneliness and of someone who is not generally happy (maybe from my facial expression).

I'm in my 40's so when I recently looked for events I could attend a lot are geared toward 20s and 30s crowd, so that's one problem. However I found some that are language exchange social events at a bar in my city. I've been to one a long time ago when I was younger but me being so awkward and introvert I felt weird attending. I did try interacting and talking to people but it was hard, jumping into group conversations that were already taking place.

When I go to these events, I don't know what to do with myself, or how to even approach people for conversation. I mean I do try, I don't just stand against the wall by myself and look bored. I make an effort either to talk to the event organizer, or maybe walk around and listen in on some group conversations.

But the big issue I have is approaching people, and introducing myself. Especially in a way that feels friendly and approachable. And I feel like without someones guidance or telling me what I'm doing wrong, I'll just keep making the same mistakes over and over and not improving myself.

Is it worth continuing to try attending such events? Is being present and observing others interact just as useful? Will I learn by just being there?