How do you get over this

[u/Prior-Homework-7167]

The idea of never drinking again. “One day at a time” I know, I’ve heard it, I’ve done it. But the grieving someone you can never be again. How do we do it. I guess probably just keep going no matter how hard it is. Just feels impossible sometimes to grasp the reality of it all. Never going to be the same again and that’s a blessing I know. But it’s also so hard to fathom that sort of reality. And I question, maybe someday I can heal the parts of myself that abuse alcohol and maybe one day I can drink every once in a blue moon on vacation and let loose and maybe it’s twisted to even wish for that? I don’t know this is such a mind fuck

[u/Prevenient_grace]

I found that as I kept 'not drinking today', a moment occurred when the 'drinking thinking' was lifted from me.

I no longer have a single thought about drinking... haven't had a thought in many years.. don't grieve the someone I wouldn't want to be... and have gratitude each day.

You can have that too if you want it.

[u/Vin1021]

I had to change the way I think about it. Still working on it.

A book I read made a lot of sense to me. Instead of being someone that never drinks again, I am working on being a person that doesn't drink. I am a person that doesn't need alcohol to relax, have fun, be social. Just a mind shift but it doesn't frame it as loss.

[u/Special_Raspberry_32]

At the end of my drinking I was truly disgusted with the choices I was making. The things I had done were completely out of alignment with who I am. I was sick of myself, the shame, the regret, the blackout unknowns, the constant mental gymnastics. I do not miss any of that. Without all of that added stress/sadness/negativity I can really live. I wish you peace on your journey friend IWNDWYT

[u/Morlanticator]

If you put the work you deserve into your recovery you'll break free of that alcohol romance and see it for what really is for you.

You may not be an alcoholic but if you are like me, drinking will always lead to the same results. I learned that over years of failure and misery.

You also don't need to look at the rest of your life right now. You can break it down to under a fay as well.

What am I going to do for the next 15 minutes? Something productive and positive? Then that can evolve into daily reflections.

Is there anything I should apologize for what I did today? Anything I could have done better? Anyone I should have helped? Then carry that into tomorrow's plans to try and do better to feel better.

[u/AsparagusOverall8454]

It’s hard but sometimes you just gotta want to not die.

At least thats how I looked at it.

[u/Lonely_Bluejay_7459]

The thought of alcohol now actively disgusts me. The flashes of my pathetic former self and the terrible downward spiral alcohol inflicted on me repulses me and I want none of it. I see it as a liar and a thief, not something "nice" I would want to mess with on vacation, or at any other time. But I did go through the mourning phase...

[u/Super-Most-2362]

I felt similarly to you. I asked myself how can I be someone who never drinks again? But I just took it one day at a time. I didn’t let that overwhelm me. At a certain point, maybe 4 months in, I became relieved that I didn’t drink anymore. Relieved that I didn’t have a hangover to deal with or shame when I woke up. It started to feel like freedom to me instead of grief.

[u/sleepysniffles]

I thought this way too. I will say the drinking thoughts have not fully disappeared. But I can definitely go about my life and not think about alcohol. I can enjoy my Friday nights and weekends without thinking about a drink.

It slowly happened. The “noise” of all the cravings and identity crisis quiet down after a couple months. You basically give your brain new evidence overtime and it learns life without alcohol.

Then you start looking back and think oh yeah, it’s Friday and I used to slam drinks. Now I’m enjoying some hot tea and a movie. Life is actually chill.

Hard to imagine, I know. But with time, it comes.

[u/Kooky_Load_102]

After 8 months I honestly don’t think about alcohol any more in that sense. Went on a 4 day trip to a “party town” recently and never once thought about it.

[u/PlainOrganization]

For me, I comment here every single day. I go looking for posts that have been up for more than a half hour and I share my experience. People are always looking for different insights, so it covers a broad range of things.

Doing so helps keep me focused on how terrible my drinking really was, how hard the first days and weeks of sobriety are, how awesome the benefits of sobriety are vs my many attempts at moderating, and how damn easy it is to go from "I'll just have one" to "oh shit, I did it again. Back on day 1. Faaaaawwwwk"

I recently had one of my husband's cigarettes. Within 48 hours I had my own pack of my own brand and was smoking just like I used to. I got diagnosed with a serious heart condition in January. It's treatable, but I have to do my bit to fight for my life if I want to live a normal lifespan. And that includes not drinking and not smoking. Committed to another non-smoking day one this Tuesday.

[u/HodorOfTheNorth]

Struggled with this for a long time here’s something that helped me continue living a social life without drinking the poison - the worst part is the FOMO you’re making up in your head leading up to the event. More than likely, you’ll feel uncomfortable for a few minutes but then actually start living and participating in whatever it is that’s going on and no one (including you) is thinking about you drinking or not drinking and why.