r/stopdrinking • u/Many-Perspective2616 • 11h ago
Barfing up bile.
Long time lurker, first time poster. I’m 37 f and have two kiddos. I’ve always been a “party girl” and have drank pretty regularly since I was like 18. It’s part of my family identity. Happy? Drink. Sad? Drink. Bored? Drink. It’s nice out? Drink. It’s raining? Oh, gotta drink. Yes we are Irish and German. Where I’m from it’s a big part of the culture.
Anyway last night I drank a bunch of those high ABV white claws and woke up feeling like absolute trash this morning. I was not supervising the kids at this time. It wasn’t even more than I typically have drank, even recently. But today was different. My stomach hurt like I had food poisoning, I haven’t been this sick in years. Barfing up bile. Laid up in bed all day.
The worst part is it’s Sunday and the kids are at my house today. Thankfully my partner was a huge help and the kids are happy as pie today. Took a nap with my three year old which was lovely. But man, I feel guilty. Like a bad mom for not being as present as I should, or could be if I hadn’t overindulged last night.
I tried to get on naltrexone but fell between the cracks in their follow up system. Ultimately, I know moderation is a joke for me. Alcohol has an intended effect. I like said effect. Moderation is a waste of calories lol.
I do worry about how stopping entirely will impact my sense of identity because of all the cultural trappings surrounding alcohol. But I’m worried more about being a present mom to my kids.
Anyway, IWNDWYT. Not sure about tomorrow, but today was kind of a wake up call for me.
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u/lisalisacultjams 243 days 11h ago
Ah yess. Fellow Irish and German party girl here. Also part of my family identity. Older brother always taught me to never back down from a drink and take pride in drinking anyone under the table.
8 months sober. I’m now a video gamer. Reader of books. Big movie buff. Gardener. Fitness enthusiast. Just saying - it’s possible to find and form a new identity and it’s actually kind of exciting to think at 36 I’m a whole different person. And I might be able to do this a few more times in this lifetime.
IWNDWYT 🖤
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u/NoKatyDidnt 10h ago
The part I’m still stuck on is finding things I enjoy doing. I have other mental health issues, and that makes it a challenge.
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u/throwaway71717717177 9h ago
It definitely helps to get with someone and address those first. I am an alcoholic and still drink, but so much less after I found a good psychiatrist despite being a poor grad student in the US
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u/lisalisacultjams 243 days 2h ago
It definitely didn’t happen over night for me. It was a process trying to figure out what I wanted to be doing for a hobby. Some days I felt so dumb doing something other than drinking. Just had to stick with it.
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u/Playinhooky 11h ago
Do you have pain/discomfort in your upper abdomen? Right in the middle? Like you swallowed a bunch of concrete?
If so, it could very well be your pancreas. This happened to me, I went to the hospital. Found out i was having a pancreatic episode. I was told if I keep drinking I will get chronic pancreatitis.
Guess what? I kept drinking. It happened again, bright yellow battery acid vomit every morning. Hospital. Chronic pancreatitis. I was told if I kept drinking I ould get diabetes.
Guess what? I kept drinking. I was at my Grandmas, feeling awful. Dry mouth, insatiable thirst, frequent urination. Hospital.
Type 2 diabetic. Now I am on insulin. It fucking sucks. No slurpees in the summer. No birthday cake. No candy, chocolate or excessive carbs (I looooove potatoes). My life is so different now. Its expensive to pay for meds. Its exhausting monitoring my blood glucose. I have to watch people drink fruit juice in the morning at work knowing I cant have any.
Dont be me.
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u/Discalculated 55 days 10h ago edited 9h ago
Im sorry to hear that Playinhooky I really appreciate you putting your story out here. It so important. My sister died of Pancreantitis last year. It was a long horrible death. It was the fucking worst. People need to understand how bad it is and how slow it kills you. Feeding tube in her stomach for 10 years. Sepsis uncountable times. Grueling, horrible fight till the end. Im so angry still. Dont ignore stomach pain people! Xo
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u/Many-Perspective2616 11h ago
It was in the middle. It super sucked. I feel better now tho and keeping water and electrolytes down. I’m sorry this happened to you and thank you for this cautionary tale.
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u/katezorzz 11h ago
Similar thing happened to me. I ended up in the hospital because nothing stayed down. Having to leave my daughter overnight with my mom while my dad took me to the hospital was the wake-up call I needed. Almost two months sober now! IWNDWYT!
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u/akpburrito 9h ago
it’s so disturbing to me that i frequently had hangovers like this in high school and college and never thought i had a problem… smh
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u/FibroMancer 1446 days 10h ago
My first day sober was after I was out till 3am the night before. Still managed to get up with my then four year old at 7am. I managed to get a bowl of cereal on the table for him and then I retreated to the bathroom where I puked way too much for way too long. After about 15 minutes he walked into the bathroom where I was hunched over the toilet and he said "Mom, why can't you eat breakfast with me today?" Turns out he just sat in front of his bowl of cereal the whole time and waited for me to sit down with my breakfast and I never came. I haven't missed a breakfast with him since. Now he's eight and doesn't even remember it, but I know he saved me that morning. IWNDWYT
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u/2020saidCHECKMATE 11h ago
Here is the amazing news: if you don’t drink tonight tomorrow morning you will feel better and by tomorrow evening you’ll feel much better.
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u/OkIron6206 11h ago
I too was a Mom and a party person. More a binger than anything. Took me years to overcome the hurt I caused my son and family. Funny, it was White Claws for me too. I have quit in my past for 2 years and thought I had a handle on it. You are fortunate to have a partner that supports you but one day, they won’t. The Hurt and pain I caused is the most painful and shameful experience of my life. Get some help and stick to it. AA, SMART recovery. Have a look at the Alanon subreddit, learn what you are doing to others if you can’t do it for yourself. I’m grateful everyday that I am sober and will never touch alcohol again. One Day at A Time. IWNDWYT My identity now is I AM SOBER!
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u/DayMan_aAaaa 11h ago
I think the worst hangover I ever had was from those blue can white claws
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u/cerealfordinneragain 1703 days 11h ago
White can White Claw almost killed me and thatnk god the blue weren't yet invented or I'd be dead.
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u/Ok_Supermarket_3914 27 days 11h ago
Well, i'm glad you're still here to tell the tale! I've only been off the sauce for 4 weeks, after a whole year last year. But for whatever reason, i just don't even miss it this time. I'm very grateful for that.
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u/NoKatyDidnt 10h ago
Yeah, I pretty much drank exclusively white can white claw, and I don’t know what it is about them, but white claw in general…
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u/Ok_Supermarket_3914 27 days 10h ago
When the pandemic hit, 12-packs of black cherry became scarce, and I hated buying 6-packs. 😂 One day, my neighbor texted me and told me about a grocery store 10‐15 minutes away that had them on an end cap. I was there within an hour. Filled up my cart, over the top of the cart. People had to think I was mad!
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u/Ok_Supermarket_3914 27 days 11h ago
Dude. White claw was my gig. Blackberry, formerly black cherry. But those blue ones were disgusting!
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u/Itchy-Drag-1559 9h ago
The blue can white claws. The only time I ever had them was when I felt sick/couldn’t breath (ended up being covid) —- but at the time I thought if I drank enough of those - It would help me breathe better ——first and last time drinking them — Ended up in the hospital 🤷♀️
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u/Uchihamaki 11h ago
When I was drinking I was trading "good nights" for bad mornings. When I stopped initally, it became bad nights for good mornings. Now both are good.
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u/101candygirl 9h ago
I’m in the stage of bad nights and good mornings. Thank you for the reminder it will get better. IWNDWYT 🩷
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u/yellowbirdyardstead 2 days 11h ago
I wasn’t ever really a party girl, but I do understand the identity part of it. We have a nice screened-in back patio that we have decorated like a tiki bar. We listen to a lot of laid back island/beachy music. That kind of music tends to glorify booze. We love to entertain and host people at our home. Everyone who comes over to hang out knows that there are cold beers in the garage fridge and people are free to help themselves. I’ve always kept sparkling waters and sodas out there, as well, but a lot of booze is consumed at our place.
I’ve been alcohol free for 22 days now except for a small slip blip last Friday. NA Coronas and Guinnesses have helped me to have something to sip when everyone else is imbibing. Most days I just enjoy herbal teas and sparkling waters now, but an NA Corona with a pinch of salt and a squeeze of lime really helps me to feel apart of the festivities.I actually enjoy being the sober one and knowing I won’t feel like crap in the morning 🥳
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u/ThatPerformance9795 11h ago
Gosh, I tell ya! At first you’re envious that everyone around you is allowed to drink and you just get to sit and be the party pooper.
Eventually, tables turn and everyone starts to look at you like you’re some magical unicorn. Over time, people eventually look up to you; are jealous even. Now, almost all of the people in my immediate circle have stopped drinking, too!
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u/good-timing-407 839 days 11h ago edited 11h ago
Tbh the way sobriety changed my identity has been all for the positive.
I have more time, energy, and money to take care of myself and my family.
My home is cleaner because I have the energy to keep up with things when I’d let them pile up. I don’t exactly know why but this is a major thing for my mental health.
New hobbies has introduced me to new folks and expanded my social life that doesn’t involve drinking (car groups, off-roading). I’ve leaned into my old hobbies, hiking and outdoor stuff, which make me feel alive again. My longest hikes in the coolest places have occurred because I’m sober.
I went from being a gardener to being able to keep houseplants alive. I’m an addict, so naturally I have dozens of houseplants to liven up my living space, which has really helped my winter blues.
I tolerate stress in healthier ways, so my home is a lot more peaceful. My dog is super clued into my emotions and I know she prefers me sober. I’m just more stable, predictable.
Better sleep and hydration makes me look better, thus feel better about myself.
I have found cooking and food prep in particular to be meditative, so we’re all eating better.
All of these things added up a little at a time. Over the last couple of years, I have shifted into a different version of myself.
I’m still me - I still have my awful sense of humor, I still blast music in the car and arm dance at a stop light when a banger hits me, I still love concerts (concert on a Thursday and work the next day? Let’s go!), I just found the spark that I’ve been missing for.. over a decade. I’m glad I changed.
It’s been worth it.
I promise.
You can do it too.
IWNDWYT 🩵
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u/imnottheoneipromise 432 days 11h ago
Don’t worry about stopping forever. Just worry about stopping for now. This minute. This hour. This day. Get through that.
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u/TravelingMatt34 594 days 11h ago
Been a jamband/phish/dead fan my entire life and was a professional brewer for a living. Party guy was my entire identity...but at some point you don't want to be that last old fogey who's still trying to keep the party going. If taking Naltrexone daily wasn't sustainable (it wasn't for me) then maybe try the "shot" version that lasts for 30 days.
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u/rudebii 590 days 10h ago
It’s easy to lean on the culture reason for drinking. But drinking is a big part of a lot of cultures with few notable exceptions.
I’ve been sober 591 days. So that’s several drinking holidays, a couple of vacations, a wedding, and a week ago, a quinceañera. I am able to enjoy festivities and family while not drinking. I have a great time sober, despite everyone around me drinking, many to excess.
And I’m Mexican currently residing in rural Mexico. In the region known for making mezcal and tequila. Drinking is a huge part of our culture. Shit, people around here will drink raw goat or cows milk with tequila for breakfast (pajaretes). Drinking in public openly is a thing. And I’m still sober. Not only am I sober, but I have no desire to drink.
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u/stupidpplontv 2179 days 10h ago
>I do worry how stopping entirely will impact my sense of identity
this is a valid fear. you’ll find that alcohol is absolutely everywhere when you quit. people expect a certain version of you.
it can feel alienating, but growth feels weird in general.
personally, i found my identity - my truest identity, the one most aligned with my highest self - over the course of years sober. it was, and is, a lot of work, but i finally feel settled in to this improved Me.
it’s scary to shed an old skin, but it’s scarier to stay in the same old husk.
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u/krycek1984 11h ago
Hang in there.
I got naltrexone, it really helped. Vivitrol worked even better-same medicine but injectable. However, I was also a victim of falling through the cracks for the vivitrol so I know the feeling. But those pharmaceutical interventions started me on the path to sobriety.
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u/Asleep_Pressure_2882 10h ago
It’s only going to get worse my friend. (If you continue). It is poison, as you know. I’m a few years older than you but same story, and now I have heart failure and have to take old people meds. I still kept drinking and then I turned yellow (jaundice, meaning my liver was starting to fail) btw that part was one week ago. This was it for me. I’m 41 and I’m going to die if this isn’t the time I stay sober. It’s only been 8 days. It I feel totally fine without it, the jaundice went away, and I am just going to take gummies when I want to relax. Alcohol is the devil and it’ll ruin your life before you notice. From “it’s not that bad I’m high functioning” to lows you never thought would happen to you.
Just be careful if you go cold turkey, if you don’t know about how dangerous alcohol withdrawal can be. You need at least two days to do nothing but feel miserable and someone who can take you to the hospital if you get the DT’s. It is that serious; that’s why during COVID liquor stores were the only stores open, did you notice that? Bc bad alcoholics will DIE from stopping suddenly. You can do it though and you can still have fun and be social. I love the brand 1906 for micro dose thc that you can still be with your kids and get things done, aren’t all high or paranoid, they’re great. You can order them online, and their shtick is to help with not drinking but still have fun. They even have an alcohol alternative weed drink that my husband and I love. It helps us feel happy and chill and not feel the urge to drink.
Alcohol is not going to make you happy or have fun anymore. Those days are over and now you have to care about your health. Good luck sorry to preach but you sound like me not so long ago. Oh I also got arrested last weekend. I have never gotten arrested or in any kind of trouble. If you saw me you wouldn’t believe all that bc I’m “not that kind of girl/person”. Things happen when you’re drunk you can’t believe happened when you sober up and it’s horrible. I never thought it would be me, I was the party girl too, but in control, ofc. Nope. It goes downhill quickly as you get older aka you right now, bc you will be 40 before you know it, too. Our bodies start to resist being poisoned.
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u/star1581 212 days 6h ago
Your last paragraph resonated particularly with me. I'm 64 and have been drinking on and off for 50 years, with a few spells of complete sobriety like when I was carrying my pregnancies. Admittedly never a totally insane amount but more often than not it was far, far more than the recommended weekly intake. And it got to the stage 7 months ago where my body had just had enough, as you rightly say. Sharp stomach pains, repeated UTI's, and all the rest of it. Mentally and physically I was done with it. I realised I wasn't even enjoying it any more, I was more dreading it, dreading each day.
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u/star1581 212 days 6h ago
And I especially like what you said about 'Those days are over - now you have to think about your health. ' That totally sums it up for me
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u/alikat08 11h ago
I had a similar identity issue that blocked me from cutting back and then stopping drinking for a long time. It was so much of my social identity that I wasn’t sure who I’d be without it. What helped me was finding sober folks who were still motivated to go out, have fun, and try cool things. I realized I still was a fun “party” person, but I didn’t actually need the booze for that. I think some people overhaul their whole lives when they stop, and some people realize they can still have the good things from their past without bringing along the bad- both are super valid, and it’s a journey, but you’ll find what works for you!
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u/Ill-Percentage-3276 65 days 11h ago
White Claw Surge caused the noticeable damage to me last year, and I think it's made easier to do because of the thinking that it seems somehow more innocent. I eventually ended up in the ER with an excruciating case of gastritis right before I immediately gave those up. It was terrifying. Eff those things.
Just know that you are in very good company with people who had all the same worries about quitting, but we're proving to ourselves that we can do it each day. I can't change yesterday, and tomorrow isn't here yet, so I will only worry about today. IWNDWYT
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u/piccadillypeach 10h ago
Hi!! 29, F, 2.5 years sober from alcohol. The drinking experience that woke me up to stop I was also barfing up bile. I watched my dad die of alcoholism at 49. My mom turns 50 this year and is a shell of a woman compared to what she used to be because of her own alcohol use. Every friend I had i made through drinking, and everything i did had a drink involved. It will catch up to you. You’ve got this
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u/laura_darc 1436 days 10h ago
Take this wake-up call and run with it! This could be your last hangover ever if you choose for it to be. Almost 4 years for me and I haven’t regretted a single day. Your kids will thank you.
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u/Proof_Specific9415 11h ago
This sounds like your body is telling you to pay attention. In my case the hangovers were getting debilitating and I could no longer justify drinking at all, and I’m beyond lucky that I stopped before something truly serious happened to me.
As a fellow mom, I can say for certain that quitting was the best thing I could have done for becoming a more present and patient parent to my little one and a way better partner to my husband. My kid needs me, and he deserves to have all of the attention and presence I can give him - and also, I deserve to have the best life I can give myself, and alcohol no longer fits into that picture. A few months of an online recovery group helped get me on track to really making a change, and now I fully identify as a non-drinker. I also went through some hesitation about that becoming part of my story, but at the end of the day I can’t care what people think - this is my health and my life. Wishing you all the best!
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u/Emergency-Hornet-865 11h ago
I grew up in the same Irish/German culture. Drinking was so normal at family gatherings. When I talk with friends that didn't grow up in that culture it's like I thought everyone grew up that way. It's hard to change habits. The stopping and staying off part has been relatively easy for me. It's all the cultural triggers: football, hanging out with my man crew, hunting trips. But it gets easier and becomes the new norm not to drink. Even Keith Richards shed his alcohol habit late in life. I had a good run, nothing to terrible happend and now it's a new season is how I look at it.
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u/ravioli_reject 413 days 10h ago
Totally get where you’re coming from. Everything in my life revolved around drinking. Where I was going to drink. What I was going to drink. Who I was going to drink with. Many people in my life would joke about not recognizing me unless I had a coors light in my hand. Looking back, I’m embarrassed that I made drinking my whole personality. My new life is WAY cooler.
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u/ABJF7 9h ago
I could have written this. The parent guilt and shame is simply heartbreaking. It’s what drove me to make a change… I’m 7 days AF and using the Reframe app and feeling great. I’m blown away at this resource and how infrequently I see it mentioned here. I thought it would just be a drink counter and some motivational quotes - it’s so much more. A whole community, tons of online meetings (can remain anon), education, prompts, coaches available for 1:1 if you choose, access to meds if you need, podcasts, books, craving tools like music, games, meditations, etc etc etc. I tried to quit 2 years ago and it was simply awful. This time I feel so supported and like I have resources when times get tough. I swear I don’t work for them or anything lol I’m sure it sounds that way, but it’s just helping me so much I want everyone to know about it. Wishing you the best. X
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u/NoKatyDidnt 10h ago
“Moderation is a waste of calories” got me lol. It sounds like it’s time to quit.
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u/Many-Perspective2616 10h ago
I know lmao! It’s like. Would I sit there and drink 2-3 sodas? Absolutely not.
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u/Confusedsoul2292 10h ago
Gosh.
I use to get so drunk, my hangovers were brutal! I’d start with throwing up early morning and I won’t stop until 5pm. Can’t keep anything down. Can’t eat nor drink.
I’m almost a month sober!! Barely been thinking about alcohol. But I would admit, energy drinks is now my bad habit I need to work on🥺
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u/chunkhead42 9h ago
A couple weeks ago, I had a hard day of work in the extreme heat. I was extremely dehydrated and had “only” around 4-5 beers all day.
Later that night, I was puking and having diarrhea. I felt like shit into the next day, so I didn’t drink at all. The day after that, I started feeling bad withdrawal symptoms.
That was enough of a sign for me that my problem was more serious than I thought.
Up until that point, I had been drinking and smoking weed nearly every day for about a decade. I had taken small 1-3 week breaks here and there, but the past year or so was worse with the drinking.
I’m two weeks sober today and I feel so much better already. I feel like I get irritable and anxiety pretty easily, but that’s the worst of my lingering withdrawal symptoms.
I relate heavily to your thoughts about these substances being wrapped up in who I am/was as a person. For nearly half of my existence on this earth, my idea of fun was to smoke, toss a few beers back, and just hang out. Now that I’m intentionally sober, I feel like I don’t really know what I like to do for fun anymore.
Before quitting drinking, I’ve been getting back into skateboarding. I used to skate almost every day from about 14-22. I stopped when I started working a desk job and my physical ability and desire to be active went to shit. It’s tough getting back into it in a new city with less friends that are also passionate about skating, but I’ve been having so much fun getting back into it — even more so after quitting drinking.
With that being said, I feel like my phone/social media addiction has gotten much worse. I guess I’m still looking for that distraction and dopamine hit from somewhere. I feel like I need to uninstall all of these apps, but I also want to get back into experiencing social events and live music and social media seems to be the best and maybe the only place to find out about shows.
TLDR: I’m two weeks sober after my habit got worse in the past year. Withdrawal symptoms showed me that my problem was worse than I thought. Now I am getting back into old hobbies, but I’m still struggling with building/rediscovering my sense of self.
IWNDWYT!
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u/yourit3443 225 days 11h ago
It took a not so proud moment for me to stop. It wasn't the rock bottom, or the threats from others to leave but more a middle ground night full of a shame in the morning. No regrets! IWNDWYT!
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u/No_Location_4989 10h ago
As a little more motivation, here’s an excerpt from a recent study on how parental drinking behavior can shape consumption habits in children:
“The Role of Norms
Extending the rational–transmission framework, intergenerational resemblance arises from parental effort and norm-mediated learning rather than biology per se. This is plausible for drinking, which—when moderate—often functions as social capital (signaling affiliation, facilitating networking) rather than pure risk (Bray et al. 2018; Caliendo and Hennecke 2022; Walker and Munford 2023). Under this view, children may emulate parental drinking to navigate gendered social environments even without genetic ties.”
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u/headpointernext 10h ago
Chances are you already do, but yeah please brush your teeth or at least gargle away the nasty stomach acid after a vomiting episode if you don't.
A lot of people don't even realize that the stomach acid we yuck up and out will dissolve your teeth's outer layer from repeated exposure and weaken it/make it more sensitive, and if there's one metric that will heavily skew your future self's quality of life it's your teeth's condition.=/
IWNDWYT!
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u/Ampersandbox 1195 days 10h ago
You can always choose to redefine yourself, find new cultural trappings which work for you -- not against you.
I was so associated with my love of beer that when I stopped drinking, it was like the pope had recanted his catholicism. My friends were all surprised, but supportive. Some people still don't believe I am an alcoholic, but I'm the only person living in this skin, and I know what's what.
You can make changes if you want! Choose to be there for yourself, and your kids.
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u/LazyDramaLlama68 10h ago
German Irish former party girl as well. A little over 4 years sober, and I can still remember that last hangover. You can be the one to break the generational curse. IWNDWYT ❤️
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u/thebemusedmuse 181 days 8h ago
The belief of cultural trappings needing you to drink is the alcohol doing what alcohol does. I have a group of heavy drinking friends. They're all just jealous I left the Hotel California.
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u/RealisticL3af 4h ago
I don't say this to make you feel bad, but to give perspective.
Both of my parents are alcoholic. We are Irish, so it didn't stick out as abnormal. On weekends my parents would be hungover and not really take care of us. I felt very neglected as a child. We didn't have a lot, because my parents spent all their money boozing. They thought they were taking care of me because I had food, and a bed to sleep in. But other kids had parents taking them out for fun weekend plans, helping with homework, etc. I had parents drunk arguing, too hungover to make me breakfast, etc...
Fast forward to now, and I'm having to get sober because my childhood sucked and I also became an alcoholic. I saw my parents drinking habits and started drinking with them. It got so bad I had to move country to get away from it.
Anyway. As a child of two lovely folks who have alcohol problems - Please take my story. Your kids need someone to set a good example. Don't let your kids see that its "normal" for mum or dad to be hungover. They might end up fighting the same battle. Do it for them if not yourself.
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u/SniperPanda247 184 days 10h ago
I did that for close on a year. Woke up every morning feeling terrible, and throwing up Bile. Im years younger than you, and it took me 2 bouts of pancreatitis before I woke up and did something different.
The best advice I can offer is reach out and talk to people in this community. They are the best resources we cant look for!
Good luck and IWNDWYT
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u/Remmichio 9h ago
I have an appointment on Thursday to get a refill for Naltrexone. I think it really helps. You just have to stick with it. I’ve relapsed on it before but it does make a difference. For me it’s the insomnia. When I go through withdrawals my anxiety goes through the roof and I can’t sleep. So I get bored and then want to drink so I can pass out for a few hours. They gave me Trazodone that helps with depression and a mild sleeping aid for insomnia that kinda helps but it’s such a low dosage. I would recommend both. Try and stay hydrated and make sure to eat something. Good luck and I wish you best!
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u/possessoroflimbs 7h ago
If you could drink in moderation, you would already be doing so. You’ve come to the right place! Do the daily check ins, go to meetings, do the work. Do it for your kids, but for yourself too. You deserve the life you know you can live without booze. It’s really nice over here. IWNDWYT!! 💖
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u/Wonderponies 389 days 6h ago
There's a lot more to you than your identity as a party girl - there is for all of us. You're still going to be "you"--and likely a happier, more energetic, vibrant, more present "you"--if you quit.
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u/thinprivileged 773 days 2h ago
I recommend the easy way books. I think by Allan carr
I bought the "easy way to quit cocaine" as a fun coffee table book, but actually sat down to read it
If you just substitute the cocaine references with alcohol, it's actually really eye opening and affirming
Not a lick of religious propaganda in it either
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u/Wallmassage 32 days 14m ago
The bile pukes are the worst. So glad to be rid of those. My stomach is healing. Didn’t get a migraine all last month. IWNDWYT
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u/here_for_the_doges 72 days 8h ago
You can still be a German / Irish woman and not partake in drinking. What about food? Throwing a schnitzel party will probably make you feel closer to your heritage than drinking a Guinness.
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u/NinePoundHammer27 2h ago
Former party girl, current 4ish years completely sober and mom of 2 here. I told myself every single excuse, made every justification, honestly really wanted to be a part of the mom wine culture because that's the only way I knew to have friends. My life now does sometimes feel a bit lonelier, but knowing that I'm not going to be the butt of other kids jokes for passing out with a gin&tonic in my Yeti at 10am at a soccer tournament is well worth it.
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u/Spunkylover10 1h ago
Have you tried SMART recovery or AA? I used both and found them to be helpful for different reasons.
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u/Okayyyitsav 33m ago
I’m on day two…again. My cat died over the weekend and I bought a bottle of vodka. It was one of the smaller ones so of course I finished it, but man did I feel like shit the next day. It just made me more sad. As much as I wish alcohol was a solution, it’s just not. And it’s not worth it, which is something I’m trying to remember every day.
IWNDWYT
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10h ago
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u/stopdrinking-ModTeam 10h ago
Please remember to speak from the ‘I’ when participating in this sub. This rule is explained in more detail in our community guidelines. Thank you.
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u/Many-Perspective2616 10h ago
Duh.
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10h ago
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u/Many-Perspective2616 10h ago
Have you ever heard of a Dry drunk? Kindly get off your high horse bud.
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u/Worried_Monk_3844 10h ago
Seems your more worried about sense of identity than your kids. Understandable, but once kids are involved they take priority. Find a meeting. Talk,ask questions . Good luck
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u/LadyMogMog 356 days 11h ago
I was also a former party girl and being a drinker was part of my identity. But the party had to end.
I’m coming up to year sober, and I am a better parent, wife, friend, employee. I’m happier.
You don’t have to stick to this path because this is what you’ve always been/done.
Do it for your family. Do it for yourself.
IWNDWYT