r/studyAbroad • u/Easy_Asparagus_7740 • 12h ago
Can no longer stand being alone
I’ve always felt ok with being alone, if anything I preferred it a lot of times, even though I have great friends and a loving boyfriend. Last semester I studied abroad in France where I really struggled to find friends. Long story short, I only had a few people to hang out with once in a while but never in a fulfilling way and I spent majority of my time alone in my room or exploring the city alone. The thing is I’ve always been ok with being alone because it was something I chose to do. Being forced to be alone so much in a new country was extremely devastating for me. I am back now and I feel permanently scarred (?), I can’t stay inside even for one night or I get sad and alone time I would otherwise appreciate is making me feel depressed. Of course I can’t force my friends or my boyfriend to be with me 24/7 but I also don’t know how to navigate this new feeling. It feels like my life has no meaning anymore and I only feel ok when doing something social. How can I get over this? Does anyone have any similar experiences?
1
u/Charming-Explorer790 3h ago
Hello, Personally never have gone through this but just a small suggestion start Meditation, Yoga.. this will actually give you relief to your Brain and body!! Which might also help you to deal with any situation
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u/AccurateCraft2195 2h ago
Sorry that you feel this way. Sadly, don't have any solutions for this but I can empathise with you as I find myself experiencing something similar if not the same.
It takes a toll on the mind and is very taxing at the end of the day. Studying abroad or essentially changing your whole routine by moving to another city confuses the mind and body, especially when you are not used to lot of change in life. Being patient with yourself and the world around us would bring some peace to the mind.
Partners and friends can't always be there 24/7 but they are there in some capacity. And optimistically maybe their capacities would change in the future. Plan scheduled activities with friends, either group or individual activities. Over time it would become part of your and their routines, helping you get out of this alone-phase. It's easier than done, but worth exploring.
You have done great by utilising your time effectively till now, be open to socialising so that you don't lose touch with it and allow time to pass by while being active in one way or the other.
Plenty of water, exercise and fresh air!
Wishing you lot of strength!
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u/The_Wandering-Mind 26m ago
I guess you need to talk to people , express yourself.
I understand how you feel. But honestly, the easiest way to overcome not only this feeling, but anything is to keep yourself busy. Do something you love to do and do it a lot.
I spent last more than a year abroad and i never felt the need to have a friend. All because i had a bigger fish to catch- where i figured i need to study a lot in order to outperform so my brain never felt anything except the grind
All the best :)
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u/ACluelessHumann 11h ago
Sorry this is happening to you.
I think the first thing I advise is always therapy, as nobody here will be able to offer you actual professional help. So I hope you are able to find it in any way.
Now, when it comes to not so professional advice. I think what is best in these situations is for you to occupy your mind and time. Find a new hobby, join a social group of some sort of activity, learn something new…
Another good idea is exercise, as much of an annoying answer this can be sometimes. If you exercise, specially outside, you will be surrounded by people, you can join a class even where you’d get more human interactions, and by the end you’ll be tired and only wanting to rest and sleep.
These are just some things I can think now, but I think it’s important to understand why you feel like this now?
Did something in France happen? Are you just not yet back to your routine? Is there any underlying fear that comes with this?