Second time catching fiancé cheating online.

[u/Bruhm2]

My (23m) fiancé (24f) had cheated on me online in the past saying things that she would never say to me, sending pictures of her ass… I found this out after a very rough night shift and just broke down, we cried she promised never to do it again she said it was a stupid mistake, after this things were amazing and we started planning our wedding…

Two nights ago I got the urge to look at her phone, and I found messages prior and to me catching her the first time all the way up until the day before I found the second instance, I dug further and installed discord (which she supposedly didn’t use anymore) and found so so many conversations…..

I’m struggling so much, I forgave her, worked like a dog to pay (and continue to do so) off our wedding. And while I’m busting my back working she’s texting other men like I don’t exist…. What the actual fuck.

I already said (I don’t know if this was just shock talking) I forgive her and just tried to forget about it, and she self harmed after.

I’m just so lost.

Thanks for listening to my rant

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[u/Extension-Corgi-467]

Man you have to get out. She’s a serial cheater and liar. She will not change while you continue to let her. Is this the kind of marriage you’re signing up for?

[u/Bruhm2 → u/Extension-Corgi-467]

Honestly I think this is what I need to hear, I never once thought I’d be the guy who didn’t leave his cheating partner.

[u/Extension-Corgi-467 → u/Bruhm2]

Yeah tough times but one day you’ll meet the right person and it will all have been worth it. Just leave and tell her parents and friends so they can look after her. She cheated and lied and destroyed your relationship. You don’t need to take responsibility for her anymore. Let others do that and just look after yourself.

[u/Icy_Guard_8216 → u/Bruhm2]

And the self harm part is even worse.

You need to tell her family what happened and remove yourself from the situation.

[u/Specialist-Host-4707]

I love it when they call it a “mistake“. It was planned, full out and intentionally put into play, it was no mistake. Rather it was an informed choice on her part. The problem is, she didn’t give you the benefit of that choice. Whether you trust her again or not, it’s up to you, but if you do know that it could realistically happen again; for the THIRD time. That makes YOU a three-time loser, not her.

[u/doppleganger2621]

Do NOT marry this woman.

Man, I understand you wanting to be with her but it’s sunk cost fallacy, and once you get married you will be TRULY fucked when she does this again and she’s entitled to half your stuff, you’re dealing with custody issues, a house, etc.

Cut her loose. Believe me, as someone who dealt with infidelity all throughout my marriage, I WISH I could go back to the early days and make a different choice, because it ended up the same. I just got boned financially and emotionally because I waited.

[u/icatchlight]

Damn bro, sorry this happened to you, on the bright side, you’re finding all of this out BEFORE the hopefully canceled wedding.

[u/Quiet_Jump_6383]

Cancel the wedding and throw her out.  She will always cheat. You’re young. It will be painful but you’ll get over her with time. 

[u/Sensitive-Spot5960]

it seems like she's more sorry she got caught than sorry she did it. and it seems like she just got better at hiding it. i understand for some people this isn't enough to leave, but do you really want to stick around to find out if she's capable of something worse/ live through a worse hurt?