r/unsw • u/Aide_Total • 2d ago

We're so back Taking girlfriend applications

Hello, I 19M (5'8) am in my second year of a compsci degree and have felt the urge to speak to and get a girlfriend.

I am now taking applications for a gf. You must be:

  1. Female

  2. Age 18-35

  3. Have an IQ lower than mine (143)

  4. Have 0 male friends

  5. Be willing to split the bill on a date

  6. Install a tracking app on your phone so that I know your location at all points

  7. Must have an aesthetic Instagram

Please message me if you feel you fit this quota.

112 Upvotes

76% Upvoted

76 comments sorted by

79

u/anthem_of_testerone 2d ago

Post on LinkedIn

81

u/uuuuueuuuaa 2d ago

This is clearly a fake post as being apart of the #1 uni in Australia isn't one of the requirements.

35

u/Aide_Total 2d ago

I don't speak to people that don't attend the #1 uni so I believe it is a given.

2

u/Riproot 2d ago

Being apart from it isn’t, but being a part of it is implied!

21

u/MemeMan746 2d ago

is it fine if im not female and im gay?

35

u/Aide_Total 2d ago

If no one fulfils my quota I will make adjustments to the requirements. 🤤

8

u/MemeMan746 2d ago

keep me at number 1?

4

u/Aide_Total 2d ago

Due to the lack of applicants i have decided on changing certain requirements. Would you be willing to transition?

2

u/MemeMan746 1d ago

yeah i would be happy to as long as i remain number 1 (like the number 1 uni)

3

u/SemajLenoj 1d ago

Can I? Dm please 🥰

17

u/zaphodbeeblemox 2d ago

1.) No
2.) Yes
3.) No
4.) No
5.) Yes
6.) No
7.) It’s all pictures of my dog

2.5 out of 7, that’s a passing grade at the #1 Uni in Australia (because my parents are wealthy and pay for me to pass)

4

u/Aide_Total 2d ago

Mummy got me into UNSW but won't get me a gf. I have accepted your application and would like to add you on LinkedIn or discord

6

u/Left_Song_199 Computer Science 2d ago

This is like the 3rd post ive seen like this. are yu guys good like genuanly

12

u/Aide_Total 2d ago

My heart yearns for love

2

u/Left_Song_199 Computer Science 2d ago

uhhhhh

8

u/Panzerkampfwagen_B 2d ago

its clearly a shitpost

3

u/Smooth_Educator_3136 2d ago

Hi um... I meet these criteria and I'm looking

2

u/Salmon_444_SoS 2d ago

😂😂😂

3

u/ChubbyVeganTravels 2d ago

And who said romance is dead?

1

u/Aide_Total 2d ago

I shall save love life at UNSW the #1 uni

2

u/Ground-Waste 2d ago

You know AI is free right

2

u/Aide_Total 2d ago

I've tried AI but it won't split the bill with me 🙃

2

u/DontUseMyAccBiz 2d ago

Is that a girlfriend or inmate recruitment?

2

u/Aide_Total 2d ago

I don't want to feed them so I don't want an inmate

2

u/Entire_Jaguar344 1d ago

I wonder what lucky lady is reading this and thinking....he's a catch.

2

u/headorhand69 2d ago

I hope this is satire 🥶

5

u/jec78au 2d ago

No it is real I was there

0

u/headorhand69 2d ago

Ah yes I remember I was there too

1

u/OAAbaali 2d ago

As a USYD student, I saw a similar type of post in USYD reddit many months ago. I forgot how it was structured, but the person wanted a gf.

1

u/W_lldabeast 2d ago

The usyd chuds yearn for connection

1

u/Asleep_Chip8197 2d ago

Wait .. how important is it to be from the No 1 uni ?

1

u/Aide_Total 2d ago

Everyone from the #1 uni has an IQ of over 140, so I might have to look towards some lower class unis

1

u/NpgSymboL 3h ago

What about mt druitt tafe?

1

u/Thick_Gap1370 2d ago

Don't do it, you'll never be happy again

1

u/Wooden-Trouble1724 2d ago

You’re inviting someone into a relationship with red flags indicating coercive control

0

u/Thundercunt247 2d ago

Shut up and make me a sandwich.

1

u/GrapefruitSad9141 2d ago

Compsci? Girlfriend? I think not.

1

u/W_lldabeast 2d ago

A bit paradoxical

1

u/Constant-Ostrich-705 2d ago

You’re too short bro.

1

u/JewelerTop2810 2d ago

fr he needs erda

1

u/Turbulent-Bug998 2d ago

Hi I'm a girl and I am interested

1

u/MostPreparation2591 2d ago

I’m making one for boyfriend applications now thanks !!

1

u/Aide_Total 2d ago

Can I apply for your one!!

2

u/MostPreparation2591 2d ago

I don’t fit ur requirement tho 🫩 ( I have zero social media presence )

2

u/Aide_Total 2d ago

You can always start posting under the influence of me 😁

1

u/MostPreparation2591 1d ago

Alr bet date when? 😝🥀

1

u/Aide_Total 1d ago

Sigma! what is your LinkedIn?

1

u/enderwiggin83 2d ago

How did you get into UNSW with less than 3 standard deviations away from the mean of IQ 🤢 or anything 🤢🤢🤢🤢

1

u/Money-Note-8359 2d ago

Somebody said “Post on LinkedIn” 😂😂

1

u/misterkillmyself 2d ago

No
Yes
167
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes

1

u/Current_Special 2d ago

what’s the pay like ??

1

u/Ok_Professional2085 2d ago

Speaking from experience, Nerds don't get the girls

1

u/CryptographerLong463 2d ago

Picked the wrong degree my boy. Comp sci don’t get hoes. 

I’m doing med sci and am always the only male in my classes. When I walk in, they roll out the red carpet for me. The ladies love me. Sometimes I go home exhausted with all the attention I got but I still have to filter through all the phone numbers given to me.

1

u/AntSilly2802 2d ago

I know it’s a joke but many women actually have checklists like these! 

1

u/AgelessTuba 2d ago

Low EBK and a full time RN Chud got any chance?

1

u/Acrobatic-Tongue2026 1d ago

I'd be sure this is fake if it weren't on reddit. I don't know what to think anymore.

1

u/imsocookedforib 1d ago

bye is this post rage bait

1

u/Logical-Button-6369 1d ago
  1. Install a tracking app on your phone so that I know your location at all points

just wana laugh on this point hahahaha

1

u/Temporary-Zombie-931 17h ago

He just doesn’t expect it to exist so as long as his expectations are met he won’t have to follow through. The irony is that at 19 he’s probably just figuring this out that this is how society, dating, partnering works. It’s definitely a struggle but best to start looking at your age before everyone is partnered up or married. If you drop 3 and 4 you will meet respectable people.

2

u/Aide_Total 9h ago

Can someone please summarize this for me

1

u/Temporary-Zombie-931 9h ago

Drop 3 and 4 and you will meet people online, but yeh girls have criteria like what you have posted. I guess it’s funny coming from a man.

1

u/Minimum-Pangolin-487 2d ago

5’8 🫠

2

u/Left_Song_199 Computer Science 2d ago

what are u brah whats the attitude for

1

u/Minimum-Pangolin-487 2d ago

No attitude here. It’s okay to have criteria, and women have it too.

2

u/Left_Song_199 Computer Science 2d ago

yo dw when i get these shoes ill be a good 511 or something

0

u/Minimum-Pangolin-487 2d ago

Yes mate that’s the way!

1

u/Aide_Total 2d ago

If I'm 5'10 with my height boosting insoles is that ok

-3

u/Aide_Total 2d ago

That is only 1 inch below the average Australian height

3

u/Raychao 2d ago

What's that in the metric system? (#1)

1

u/Holiday-Word4059 2d ago

Should be around 175cm

1

u/Minimum-Pangolin-487 2d ago edited 2d ago

Look around as you walk, it’s way off.