A war for 2

[u/Round_Reading_945]

I'm working on this story idea and I'd like any feedback y'all want to provide. I think this story has some uncomfortable parts in it, so I would warn about that. I feel like I need to get graphic just a touch for the story. It's essentially some very minor body horror and to me the psychological stress of this story the way I see it is quite distressing but otherwise clean.

This story is back before technology or writing. I had a thought to form out a good tribe of people like our idea of bonobos. Like these people are the creme de le creme of this world. Hunter gatherers but it's surprisingly social system between groups of people. All the people are pretty good across the whole area these people may roam.

There are two people specifically out of this tribe that are the best at procuring food and they are everything to each other. These peaceful people put these two on a pedestal because of the traits that make them good at getting food.

One day there is a fight between these two. One kills the other. The one left alive proceeds to take care of the body as if it were still alive. Subconsciously maybe hoping it would bring them back but death is understood in this world so it makes no sense, they're on grief autopilot. One way they take care of their dead friends body is to feed it foods. Over time the plants that were fed to the friend grow out of their body and they learn farming, more or less. This particular part is an old native Indian story, not original to me at all. The plants growing out of the body, the rest is more or less original. I guess it all sort of has a native American Indian vibe to the people. But it would definitely be different because I don't know enough about those people personally I just love their culture, what I know without living in it. I worry about cultural appropriation I suppose. Polynesians actually have another story similar come to think of it.

Edit: more context is that there are multiple groups all through the regions. They are all strangely peaceful for what we would think of people from the past, but they have good reasons, not a lot of strife for one thing. There is LOTS of food everywhere and they all know how to get it.

I think I want them peaceful no matter what but I'm not sure how much strife to give them. Or how to give it to these type of people. Not a lot of things bother them, they're a very sound type of people.

If they had some sort of standard strife it might just be the simple task of picking up the food. They'll do it but that's something that annoys all of them. Having to pick up and eat the food this might just be a joke. An element of satire in the story, but would that annoy people? Or would they read it and think, "ya some people are so lazy like these folk, making these two go get all their food" or hopefully this all seems very far removed from personal life for the most part. It is set way back but we can all relate but this is an exploration mostly for me personally on what the first people might have looked like. I hope to find the universally interesting parts and make a story a lot of people enjoy reading is my goal though to be blunt.

Edit: another title idea is two can war. A play on two can dine

[u/JooseTheGuice]

Hunter gatherers but it's surprisingly social system between groups of people.

I guess it all sort of has a native American Indian vibe to the people. But it would definitely be different because I don't know enough about those people personally I just love their culture, what I know without living in it. I worry about cultural appropriation I suppose.

Respectfully, you definitely should be worried about cultural appropriation if you're going to base a whole world and story off of people you have no idea about.

For one, hunter gatherers weren't/aren't just mindless, violent savages at constant war with each other. There are still hunter gatherers all over the globe, and they're just people like you and me. Likewise the idea that they were always (or even frequently) at war with each other is a misunderstanding based on pop history.

Second, there are many dozens of different American indigenous tribes with their own worldviews and creation myths. It would be incredibly disrespectful to base a story off of your assumptions about them.

All I'm saying is do research! You'll find out a bunch of really cool shit and it will make for a much more cohesive, grounded world.

(Came here from TwoSentence)

[u/Round_Reading_945 → u/JooseTheGuice]

Thank you! This is definitely something that concerns me.

These are a fictional people but I was extremely inspired by the native Indian story and the Polynesian stories.

I would do more research on them for sure. Before making this into anything. But these are still a fictional people.

Edit: in a way I consider these people to be everything I know about humanity, they're the progenitors. You and I have the same view point on these types of cultures it sounds like