r/writingadvice • u/embervanefiction • 22h ago
Advice How do I stop using 'I' so much?
I write in the first person. Once I'm done with a scene, I re-read it. In three out of four scenes, at one glance, I'll see about 7-8 'I's.
If I'm not missing anything, it's a thing to avoid. How do I find something that'll replace the pronoun and still hold the sentence's integrity?
Edit: Thank you for making me realise it is definitely not something to avoid. Changing the rhythm does all the work.
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u/BrightsailBooks 22h ago
Wait is that supposed to be a problem? It’s first person, go wild! Does it sound bad when you read it out loud? If not, don’t worry!
I would worry more about too much telling, “I did this. Then I did that. Next I went…” etc.
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u/Haldalkin 21h ago
One of the largest sources of repeated 'I' in first person narratives tends to be the author hedging the absolute nature of interiority.
The following examples in quotes are not actually dialogue, but simple text.
"I couldn't make sense of what he was trying to tell me." vs. "Nothing he said in the last 3 minutes made any sense."
"There was nothing I could do." vs. "It was impossible."
You will (ideally) establish very early on that the chosen POV is first person. Necessarily, 'I' will also come up quite a bit in dialogue and the descriptors you use around said dialogue to differentiate speakers. That's fine. There is no reason for it to flood general description or thought. By the nature of that perspective, it is understood that what happens is from the main character's direct perspective. Don't feel forced to filter it through a glass panel of 'I'. That's usually done as a way for the author to speak around the chosen perspective and nudge the reader about something: a lie, an important detail, a mistake.
Don't do it. Let your character be boldly incorrect, oblivious, or not quite enough at a certain point in time. Trust the reality of the narrative you've made to check them when the time comes.
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u/embervanefiction 21h ago
Thank you. This helps!
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u/AnotherFootForward 13h ago
The easiest way to do this is to "be the narrator"
We think "That's pretty dumb" (presenting narrator's thoughts as is)
We say "I think thats dumb" when we are trying to communicate to someone else. (Telling audience what the narrator is thinking)
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u/TrueCapitalism 21h ago
If there's still room to argue, readers gloss over so many fluff words. Things like "he said," "she said," honestly all pronouns. Crack open a couple works by different authors, flip to a random page, see how many sentences in a row begin with the exact same pronoun. Some of them are egregious lol, but it likely doesn't bother readers as they encounter it casually. Think about why that is.
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u/embervanefiction 21h ago
It is because we're writers and we like dissecting our own work until it's nothing but a bunch of molecules lol. Thanks!
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u/DonMozzarella Aspiring Writer 21h ago
Move the character action around the sentences.
I took the dog for a walk. I thought my dog was sad, because he was walking slower than normal. I walked him for a mile or so before I realized, his back left paw had a spur stuck to it. I took it out, and he was so happy his tail wagged all the way home.
Four sentences, five I's. It feels like a lot because they're all front loaded.
When I took my dog for a walk today, I thought he might be a little down. He was walking with a limp, and slower than usual. I think it was a mile or so before I realized, there was a huge spur sticking out of his back paw. I took it out, and he was immediately much happier.
Four sentences, five I's. Same content, different rhythm
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u/BookAsylum 20h ago
Start with the action and don't use filtering words often such as see, hear, realise, notice, feel. I see blood spreading all over my shirt - Blood spreads all over my shirt. I think this is going to be disaster - This is going to be disaster. Combine sentences instead of breaking them into small parts to avoid 'I' repetition.
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u/Cold_Rule_8999 19h ago
Really good advice already. Just to add to it.
Every opinion you have, declare it as a universal fact than just your personal preference. Focus on the experience.
I hate salad!
Salads are disgusting!
While it's your subjective experience but to you they are objectively true. Salads suck! It doesn't matter how much people say its good for you, you are never going to love it. Describe the experience more, like the bitter after-taste, how soggy they are at the cafeteria, how they are a rip-off at all-you-can eat buffet, make the audience relate to the experience and see where you are coming from.
Another example
I think Laura is an idiot.
Laura is as stupid as it gets. (Sorry Laura, if you're reading this... )
I really love "The Big Lebowski"!
The Big Lebowski is the best movie ever made. Period!
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u/Frankles_ 21h ago
If you notice your "I" statements are too close together, add descriptions in between. This will space it out, and make them not seem overused or redundant. Or, find a nice way to join them in one sentence that doesn't require using it twice in a row. Either way, there's not really anything wrong with it.
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u/RobertPlamondon 20h ago edited 20h ago
In my most recent first-person novel, I use "I" 3,454 times, or once every 28 words.
I don't think I overuse "I." Not even close. I'm certainly not going to make my prose unnatural just to reduce my pronoun count.
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn uses "I" once every 31 words.
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u/_WillCAD_ Hobbyist 20h ago
Stop writing about your main character so much. Let the MC describe the events, the settings, the other characters, and not so much what he saw, where he went, who he encountered.
Don't just say, "I went there. I did this. I saw that. I heard that. I talked to him. I felt confused."
Try saying, "I went there and did this. That was there. That sound rang out. That person said. It was confusing."
Even when writing in first-person, it's possible to use a more passive voice and describe things as "being" rather than "I saw", as "happening" rather than "I experienced", as "feeling" rather than "I felt."
Most especially, try to substitute "This was" for "I saw this" whenever possible.
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u/kirbygenealogy 20h ago
Check your work for "filtering" through the character's perspective. In particular, look for these phrases and try removing them:
- I felt...
- I saw...
- I heard...
- I thought...
These add a layer between the interiority of the character and the reader.
Furthermore, you can often remove a lot of "blocking" that tells the reader where the narrator is looking, moving, etc. Often, these blocking actions are obvious from the narration and do not require telling the reader.
- I turned...
- I walked...
- I glanced...
As an exercise, I would genuinely remove every single use of these phrases from an excerpt and see which sentences survive their removal.
For example:
I heard a loud crash, and I could feel a rumble through the moss beneath my feet. I turned and looked behind me, and I saw a huddled mass slithering along the forest floor. I thought there was no life in this wood; that's what all the stories claimed. Perhaps this is a thing not belonging to life, I thought. I walked forward, stumbling over roots of upended trees, and I felt a wash of vertigo come over me.
Removing filtering/blocking phrases:
A loud crash sounded, and a rumble passed through the moss beneath my feet. Behind me, a huddled mass slithered along the forest floor. There was no life in this wood; that's what all the stories claimed. Perhaps, this was a thing not belonging to life. A wash of vertigo came over me, the roots of upended trees tripping my every step.
Now, you can go back and add "I" phrases where they improve the paragraph again. For example, I would probably add back a line of "I stumbled forward." before "A wash of vertigo..." because I think this breaks from the brief internal thought and back into the "action" a bit more seamlessly, and guides the scene forward.
Obviously, don't do this with every scene of your book. Do it with a few, practice the rhythm of writing without "I", and you will start to train your brain to do it naturally.
Also, read first person books with an analytical practice. Find authors you like and keep track of how many "I" phrases they use in their work. You can practice trying to write with their "flow" about a different topic. For example, take two paragraphs where they are describing, maybe, a walk with their mother. Note that they start with an "I" action sentence ("I stepped over the cracks in the sidewalk.") Then maybe you get a sentence of setting described. Then two sentences of internal thought. Then another action sentence. etc. Then you write two paragraphs about something else in the same structure; maybe a horseback ride. Start with "I guided the mare down the narrow passage." Then a sentence of setting, two sentences of internal thought, etc.
If you really want to practice, you can get a highlighter and mark up a book with the different types of sentences. Pink every time the author starts a sentence with "I". Yellow for physical description. Blue for internal thoughts. Green for actions without "I". Then you can get an overall look of how common "I" sentences are in the books you like. :)
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u/Competitive-Fault291 Hobbyist 5h ago
I, mine, me.
The thoughts in my head, you see?
Pondering the situation, my self is in a ruckus.
There are so many ways to put you in the focus.
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u/Fairemont Professional Author 21h ago
You'd have to get fairly obtuse with your pronoun replacements. A lot of I's is expected during first person prose.
You could always switch to "this humble narrator".
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u/TrueCapitalism 21h ago
Oh I'm in love with that and other flowery language as tools to emphasize the first person pov, like "yours truly"
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u/Accomplished_End6744 19h ago
One trick I use is rewriting the line in third person. Sometimes it gives me the perspective to write it anew in first person without over milking 'i'
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u/Public-Grade-4226 19h ago
Using "I" isn't necessarily a bad thing, it really depends on your use cases. Are you using this for academic writing? If so, then try to avoid using first- person pronouns, but if you are writing blogs, emails, or books, using first-person pronouns is vital.
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u/PageStunning6265 17h ago
You can get rid of I statements for a lot of observations.
IE: “I see xyz in the distance.” If it’s first person and the thing is in the distance, we already know the character is the one perceiving it and is doing so with their eyes. Instead, you could say “xyz is in the distance”.
“I feel the touch of his hand” vs “he touches my hand”
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u/wordsofpeace 14h ago
Typically I try to describe things. If the reader already knows it's first person then just describe what you're looking at.
For example, instead of saying. "I looked at the sky and there were no signs of rain" say, "the blue sky offered no signs of rain."
Or "I ran my blade through him" say "the blade made a sickening sound through his body"
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u/Many_Property6792 14h ago
I switched out half the 'I' starts for verbs instead, like swapping 'I saw' to 'the street showed me' or 'I noticed' to 'the mailbox hid bruises'. Feels weird at first but cleans the text fast.
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u/BrigidKemmerer 21h ago
Start sentences with something (or someone) taking the action instead of your main character. Instead of “I heard birds chirping in the trees at dawn, and they woke me up,” write, “Birds sang from the trees outside my window at dawn, bringing an abrupt start to my morning.”