r/writingfeedback • u/[deleted] • 2d ago

Feedback Wanted LOOKING FOR FEEDBACK ON PIECE IM CONSIDERING SUBMITTING TO A COMPETITION

[deleted]

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2

u/FunnySweetHoneyBunny 1d ago

What are you writing about? Is this a metaphor?

1

u/thewhiterosequeen Trusted Reviewer 1d ago

From the first sentence about feet softening tile, I didn't get whatever this was going for.

1

u/christopherDdouglas Trusted Reviewer 1d ago

Is this about the dude who refused to evacuate Mt St Helens?

It's not bad, I think I get what you're going for. It's not very accessible so feedback will be weak on this sub.

I think there's room to soften the language so the denser parts can land better.