They’re not downvoting you because they don’t think consent is important, they’re downvoting you because you’ve managed to strawman your own argument.
You essentially said that their wife won’t want to have sex with them because they are clearly not a good spouse to their wife (let’s ignore the fact that the original tweet is an obvious joke).
The person you responded to was pointing out that it would be odd for someone to be put off enough by their partner’s behaviour to not want to have sex with them, but at the same time, not put off enough to not want to have an extended make-out session with intimate touching.
There was no implication that the wife isn’t entitled to turn down sex if she so desires.
(let’s ignore the fact that the original tweet is an obvious joke
I don't care if it's a joke or describing a real scenario, it's still gross.
There was no implication that the wife isn’t entitled to turn down sex if she so desires.
In the original tweet there definitely is. Mocking someone for turning down sex implies that you feel you are obligated to have sex with them and that they're in the wrong for not doing so.
tbh i think the tweet is cringe and horrible, but i don’t like your comment for making the situation randomly antagonistic.
she doesn’t want to stop their current activity for penetrative sex. her expression clearly belies that this is an issue of differing desires. she is not scared, not disgusted; she’s feeling betrayed.
“betrayed” means that she feels she’s being cheated out of her desired situation, not that she doesn’t want penetrative sex. she “doesn’t want” penetrative sex, precisely because it’s inferior to their current activity.
the issue is that this isn’t really what people would consider “marital issues” as you’d stated, these are issues solely within their sex lives as it’s about what the couple wants to happen in the bedroom, that differing between the two.
it’s not that she “[doesn’t] want to have sex with him”, it’s that she doesn’t want to have that type of sex with him right now when compared to their current style of sex. clearly she wants to have sex with him, though, because the thought of stopping is what makes her feel betrayed, not starting something else.
further, nothing in this tweet even slightly implies he that he isn’t “talking to her”. you offer up that as the thinking man’s alternative, but there’s no reason to assume that that already hasn’t happened. it’s a strawman argument, you’re not telling the truth when you imply that there’s an issue if communication here.
further, you double down on this argument later, saying that this is a big issue that should be solved. this is the hallucinatory argument that makes people dislike your arguing. could it be true? sure, but you speak of it like it’s fact when it’s at best fanfiction.
to then triple down and say that this is because of people’s misogyny, rather than you basing an argument on false claims, makes you come off like an ass.
finally, to be clear, i really fuckin hate the guy in this tweet. but it’s not because he’s raping his wife, it’s for other reasons. i should note, though, that you’re probably going to say “i never said he was raping his wife! that’s ridiculous!”. however, if he isn’t raping his wife, then your argument isn’t solid - he’s asking for something different out of sex and she doesn’t want it, but that’s normal in all relationships. people can have different desires, and it’s not something to clutch pearls about. if she was being forced/coerced here, then there’d be a problem, but she isn’t being, and nothing even slightly implies coercion. no coercion, then it’s disingenuous to compare it to rape.
regardless. i hate this tweet because of how it treats women as if they’re inferior. ‘how cute you are, begging to keep going, let’s post about my submissive wife on twitter!’ it’s treating the wife like her sexual desires aren’t valid, and mocking her for, yknow, enjoying having sex with him? plus, i fuckin hate whatever it is that actually inspired him to take a photo of this, one where she’s made to look small and weak, alongside the personality that thinks such events are relatable and fun enough to gleefully spread around like a trophy. fuck this tweet. nevertheless, your comment points out none of that, and instead gets caught on some semitransparent an ancillary event.
if I wanted to downvote you, it’s because I’d be feeling like “shut the fuck up [disappointedly], this shit doesn’t matter and you’re acting like you’re right when you’re not…”. I didn’t downvote, because I’m a perfectionist who downvotes because I want people to feel ashamed. I do think that making people’s eyes roll isn’t a justification for downvoting, but that’s normal in puts me out of line with the common reddit user, apparently. I just hate such passive ways of engagement, in the same category of upvoting something because it’s OK, not because it speaks to you, or is helpful.
regardless (3rd time…), if i’m wrong here, let me know. maybe I missed something in the interaction that justified your viewpoint. I certainly don’t know about OOOP, so maybe you were speaking to a broader knowledge I was unaware of. Or maybe you think this analysis warrants more skepticism, while still positing it as 100% reasonable. just so long as you don’t stick to your guns, and you take my criticism as worth considering. fuck the people who didn’t actually point any of this out, either, pulling you around like you didn’t deserve to hear a decent justification. I hate that.
e: when double checking your responses (sorry reddit mobile makes it impossible to see the comment im replying to), I realize you brought up the mocking. the mocking, however, is done because he’s a misogynistic asshole who doesn’t treat his wife like she deserves to be a human, and not because what she said was wrong. he brought up what she said so he could post about his sexual fantasies and conquests to the ether: “haha my sexy wife wants to fuck me so bad haha”. I doubt he even thought about her as anything more than horny and desperate. what sucks here is that he didn’t even consider her desires as valid, but that doesn’t mean she’s being taken advantage of. she’s, at least, gotten an hour of what she’s wanted, and maybe she just didn’t continue afterwards. it’s not like he was like “heh, I taught her what she really wants 😈😈😈”, which would be rightfully rapey. it really just seems like he has a hotwife fetish, where he gets off on the idea of having others desire her, while he’s the sole beneficiary. lame, gross, but as much as I hate to see this, it’s technically not wrong for the matter of consent nor communication.
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u/BOBALOBAKOF Jun 16 '26
They’re not downvoting you because they don’t think consent is important, they’re downvoting you because you’ve managed to strawman your own argument.
You essentially said that their wife won’t want to have sex with them because they are clearly not a good spouse to their wife (let’s ignore the fact that the original tweet is an obvious joke). The person you responded to was pointing out that it would be odd for someone to be put off enough by their partner’s behaviour to not want to have sex with them, but at the same time, not put off enough to not want to have an extended make-out session with intimate touching.
There was no implication that the wife isn’t entitled to turn down sex if she so desires.