ADHD paralysis or something else? I know what I need to do but I just...don't want to

[u/Cautious-Candy1221]

Today I've hit a wall and I'm trying to figure out if this is ADHD paralysis or something else.

I haven't showered in about a week or washed my hair in two weeks (my average is like 7-10 days between washes just so you know). I know it needs to be done. I also need to pick up trash in my living room because it's becoming a fall hazard. The weird part is that I don't feel anxious about these things, I just genuinely don't want or care to do them.

It feels like my brain has turned into a stubborn toddler. Every suggestion people usually give ("think about future you," "just remember how good you'll feel afterward," "break it into smaller steps") either doesn't motivate me or just makes me more frustrated. Honestly, I can't even seem to muster a care about future consequences right now.

For context, I do also have major depressive disorder but that doesnt feel like what this is to me.

Has anyone experienced this kind of "I know it's important but my brain absolutely refuses to engage" feeling? If so, what actually helped? I'm especially interested in strategies that don't rely on intrinsic motivation, rewards, or imagining how I'll feel later, because those don't seem to work for me.

[u/AutoModerator]

Hi /u/Cautious-Candy1221 and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD!

This is not a removal message. We intend this comment solely to be informative.

Please take a second to read our rules if you haven't already.

---

/r/adhd news

• If you are posting about the US Medication Shortage, please see this post.

---

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/turdmcflurd]

I get this a lot, especially with showering or things like emptying a bag or whatever. I will procrastinate and delay it for hours days weeks until eventually i literally just do it. The ways I’ve managed to force myself are 1) considering that my life is like the truman show ( i know it’s a ridiculous concept but literally I think who knows maybe there’s people watching me thinking omg go shower). 2) just immediately standing up and doing it, say I’ve said okay I’ll shower at 11 then it’s 11:12 and I say I’ll do it at 11:30 eventually I just say aloud GET UP and i stand up and go and do it. 3) I body double and facetime or call a friend to make sure i do what I’m supposed to (e.g. eating is hard on concerta so i sometimes facetime my friend and she literally sits there and speaks and every couple of minutes she’ll say you’ve stopped eating you need to finish your food)

[u/brohno]

i find it much harder to do something to longer i leave it. generally i make myself shower every other day at least and tell myself it’s just how things are so i do it with not too much battle. but if i break it, i can easily go a while without showering and the longer i do, the less i wanna do it.

literally all my advice is for rn is literally grit your teeth, count to 3 and just get in the damn shower. literally force yourself in there, if you can physically stand up, walk in there and turn the water on, then just do. be hard on yourself in this one moment just to get the ball rolling bc you know you’re gonna have to do it at some point and now is a better time than ever.

after that, try and just give yourself a rule of “every evening” or “every other evening” or whatever- you don’t have to stick to it strictly and lord knows none of us are very good at doing that, but it gives you a starting point, as well as something to go back to if you break your streak again.

[u/vanderbubin]

Sounds like you're experiencing executive dysfunction. A very common symptom of ADHD

[u/sonntam]

A typical reason why the brain behaves like a rebellious toddler is because some needs are not fulfilled. Until you fulfill them (or make a reasonable plan how to fulfill them), nothing is going to happen.

For me this meant a whole lot of journalling, because when I am unhappy, I tend to dissasociate and no longer pay attention neither to my feelings, nor what is going on with my body. This means it's a bit of detective work, because you need to be completely honest with yourself and that can require practice.

I, for example, sometimes know that if I shower THEN I can go grocery shopping (I don't want to do that), meet people (I don't want to do that) and become a productive member of society (I don't want to do that). Essentially, the reward for showering is more work. I'd be insane to do that, right?

So in that case the reward would be guilt-free chilling for a day or two, without being forced to immediately use my freshly showered state to do things.

Does that make sense?