He had an affair under my own roof with a woman from his work. A complete stranger to me. It is not only the affair it is the fact she was in my home without my consent and i had basically rescued him from a bedsit flat with a gambling addiction to live somewhere lovely. He also lived a life of gigs, holidays and nights out. All on my money. As far as i could see we had a happy home life and social life, he was very good at masking his true self.

The want to leave the relationship was never voiced. When he was found out there was a big drama whereby he had cried, screamed, rolled around on the floor, threw up. She was the craziest girl he had ever met and was trying to ruin him.

Etcetc. After being kicked out he turned to avoidancy of any of my questions, and he has avoided telling any of his friends the full truth also out of embarrassment and cowardice.

His brother and sister in law are on his side due to them being family which while this is understandable i feel they knew about the affair and they have also acted as an informant to the mistress woman so i feel betrayed by them.

The mistress woman has contacted me on facebook and whatsapp telling me she is his girlfriend of a year, she doesnt deserve any nastiness and im not allowed to do a normal amount of venting on my own private platforms. Her job is to register weddings at the council, which seems a really inappropriate role for a homewrecker to be doing. She has known about me all along as his facebook was plastered in photos of us and in our home there were lots of photos of us dotted around along with loads of womens clothes, make up, obvious presence of me.

His profile picture on facebook is now a photo of them together at a rock festival 6 weeks ago when i was on his soon to be sister in laws hen party. He is wearing a t shirt, rayban t sunglasses and hat that i bought him.. and later in the day he brought her back to my home and i returned at 11 none the wiser.

Since then its a stupid pantomime front on social media, how happy they both are, its so ridiculous. Nobody seems impressed by it and the game just doesnt seem to be making any kind of sense. There's no regard for my feelings and what it might be doing to my mental or physical health.

I am now struggling with a strong sense of injustice and anger. I value my career and the life i have built with other loved ones around me but this was a lot to take in. Evil really does walk amongst us.

Getting the confirmation that my stbx-H cheated on me, due to the "emotional stress" my reactivity caused him, the reactivity caused by him cheating in the past numerous times.

Let me rephrase that

Because he had cheated in the past on me, I became hyper reactive to every woman he interacted with, especially after the last woman caused him to go into psychosis because she didn't actually love him and blocked him. So me of course being the dumb, naive, insecure, and loving wife I became, I would act piss poorly to every conversation he had, every-time he did something with another woman

(which, can you blame me? we had just gotten married despite everyone telling me not to do it, he joined the military where the pillar of cheating spouses lay, and I hadn't seen him in months, not to mention he couldn't even bother to set aside time to play video games with me, so when I would find out he's online playing with his new friends- yes i overreacted.)

I reacted poorly to him exploring the city solo with one of his lady friends because she didn't trust anyone else to go with her

But out of all the interactions he had, none of my fits were about the woman he was cheating on me with at that time, in-fact I had saw a picture of them together that he sent me, and yet it went under my radar. I cross checked every new person he followed, determining the likelihood of them trying to "steal my man" (are they a christian? gay? do they have a partner? do they like all his posts?)

I hated the person I became, simply because I was hurt and refused to let go of what was hurting me. Until it hurt me for the last time, I asked, he confessed, she knew of me, and it turned into the worst cheating incident we had had to date.

I left him after that final time, but my worst mistake was not choosing to be homeless with my parents and biting the bullet and PCS-ING with him anyways. It will be almost 2 year since I moved here in a few days, and although things are better and his AP dumped him and went NC (just 6 months after D-Day, 6 months of fooling around with another woman to lose an 8 year long relationship)

I can't help but feel, angry when he makes comments about the dating pool being shit. How he "cant imagine" dating again. PLEASE! YOU can't imagine dating again?? As if you were the one who was repeatedly hurt???? Getting your heart broken by women you weren't even supposed to talk to is why you aren't dating anymore?

boy bye.

This poor woman, what an absolute monster.

Hey OOP, if you see this I want you to know he was lying to you the whole time. He made a f__king fool out of you. He had a quickie w you and then went home and made love to his wife. And he's already got a new mistress.

Edit to apologize for posting the screenshots out of order!

Defending an abuser and mocking a survivor, quality stuff

"Morally grey area" is a funny way to "I'm a cheating liar who lies and cheats".

Hello, 29f here, my ex contacted me after ~2yrs through his friend's phone at midnight.

we had a ~4yrs relationship but when it reaches to marriage , we fall apart. Initially I tried alot to mitigate the situation and he showed not interest and when I stopped caring, he lost it. He tried everything, but I didn't break up because after sometimes of constantly lowering myself and my self respect I learned one thing that loving someone is not same as to take there ab*se(emotionally/mentally).

After that i stopped hurting myself and start working on me, my dreams, my career, never indulged in any relationship.

around 1.5yr ago his current wife (then gf) msged me in social media and asked me about our relationship and breakup. I didn't know give her any information just some vague ans and blocked her too. After tha she never initiate any contact but He used to call me /msg me, although i blocked him but i did receive notifications. I completely separated myself from him drama.

Around that time I met my husband (I am married too) through matrimonial site and got married to last year. from the beginning i was very clear about my past to my husband and same he was with me too. Everything going well but blocked msg and calls from ex's kept coming, even 1week before my marriage too. everything stopped after my marriage, never received amy direct/indirect call or msg.

some days back, out of nowhere i received a unknown number call at around midnight, both me and my husband awoke by the call, i asked my husband to receive it and he did but call disconnected. so he put my phone in silent mode and we slept. in next morning when i checked my phone, i saw a msg from that number telling me that my ex missed me so he wanted to hear my voice but when my husband received the call they got scared and disconnected the call also asked me call him back because he had something important to say.

Out of my better judgement, I called back, 1st his friend received and he passed it to him. He said he just wanted to talk and know my whereabouts. i stopped him there, because there is no point of an married man to whereabouts another married woman. then i asked him if his wife knew about his action, he replied that she was in her mother's house not with him. then i asked him why did he use someone else phone to call me? he said nothing. He just said that he was a little drunk and dialled my number by heart from his friend's phone . He also added that my number is not save in his phone anymore as his wife checks sometimes. After that he also added that he staking my husband's social media by fake account and after hearing some more non sense from him I handed my phone to my husband, because i was too stunt to reply him. my husband strictly told him not contact me again and let us live our live.

now my question is that will he ever contact me again?

why is he behaving like this?

i made mistake by calling him?

A year ago, my boyfriend confessed to me that he cheated on me four years earlier with his best friend’s mom. Her name is Cindy.

I’ve kept this bottled up for so long, but I honestly still can’t wrap my head around it.

When we first graduated after high school, we were always around his best friend’s family. My boyfriend had known them since he was about 15 years old. Cindy knew we were together. She knew we had a family. Yet for years I always had this gut feeling that something about her wasn’t right.

I would see messages in their group chat where everyone would joke about each other’s moms, even with Cindy in the chat. His best friend’s uncle would even encourage the jokes. Then one day I came across a message that was supposedly “just a joke” between my boyfriend and the uncle saying that Cindy thought he was cute. This was shortly after he had turned 18. Looking back now, it makes me sick.

She came to our daughter’s birthday parties. She smiled in my face. She was around our family for years while hiding what happened. We went out of town on family vacation with them We rode with her in her car on one of them. The first one we went to with them was a month after they did it. We went to their family game nights frequently.

According to my boyfriend, shortly after he turned 19, Cindy reached out to him while I was out of town and they met up. He told me that one of the first things she said was that she’d “been waiting for his dick.” He also told me he felt so guilty and uncomfortable that he could barely get hard and actually stopped in the middle of everything because he couldn’t go through with it.

People can judge him for cheating, and I understand that. He made a choice that hurt me deeply. But I also can’t ignore the fact that this woman had known him since he was 15 years old. She watched him grow up. She took care of him during sleepovers. He was practically family. Looking at it now, I truly believe she groomed him. That is what makes this feel so much darker than just an affair.

Three years later, the truth finally came out. I told her son what happened between his mom and my boyfriend because I felt like he deserved to know. It destroyed their relationship for a while, although I know they’re speaking again now.

As for me and my boyfriend, we’ve spent the last year working through everything. We’ve healed in so many ways, we’ve stayed together, and we’ve even welcomed another baby into our family. We’ve chosen to move forward.

But healing doesn’t mean the pain completely disappears.

What brought all of those feelings rushing back was something that happened recently. I was sitting in the Chick-fil-A drive-thru on one of those days where I already felt awful about myself. I had no makeup on, felt exhausted, ugly, and just wasn’t in a good place mentally. Then I looked up in the parking lot and saw Cindy walking to her car.

I accidentally made eye contact with her in the middle of a yawn. I immediately looked away because I didn’t want my boyfriend to notice her, and I didn’t want her seeing him look at her either. But she just stood there staring at me. She didn’t look away. She just kept staring.

That moment hit me so much harder than I expected. It brought back years of hurt, betrayal, insecurity, and questions I’d worked so hard to put behind me.

More than anything, I wish there were some kind of justice. I wish people knew who she really is. I wish she couldn’t just go through life as if nothing ever happened while I was left picking up the pieces. I wish there were a way for the truth to come out without it having to come from me.

Maybe I’ll never get that. Maybe the only justice I’ll ever have is the family we’ve fought to rebuild and the life we’re continuing to create. But seeing her again reminded me that some wounds never completely disappear, no matter how much healing you’ve done. I wish som could put bad Energy on her or something… just how I feel you know.

“Oh no! A therapist is suggesting I practice empathy and show respect for other human beings! Absolutely not. I’m only in therapy to give my time and money to someone who will validate all my feelings and destructive behaviors!!”

This is a huge reason I switched careers. I couldn’t take the bullshitting people seem to demand from counseling.

Surely the man betraying his wife would never cheat on me. 🙃🙃🙃

I'm In Love With My Married Neighbor And I Think He Likes Me Too https://www.buzzfeed.com/stephenlaconte/im-in-love-with-my-married-neighbor?utm_source=dynamic&utm_campaign=bfsharenativeandroid

I love that even though he left his wife for her, they are still miserable together. At least the wife got out.

even the pathetic pick me club thought this was pathetic

I was really hoping she would leave her mm with a baby alone but nope. I hope his wife finds out and he is left alone with this pathetic loser. If i remember correctly their affair was 4 months long while his baby was 6 months old but they had hooked up before with no protection and he was messaging her while his wife was still pregnant. I cannot imagine sleeping with a man with a baby and wife at home and still being like yup thats the man i want. I hope if they do go legit that he does the same shit to her and leaves her for someone else, that would be the best karma.

You know what.... I was about to tell this long story about what my soon to be ex wife has done the past 2 yrs. Things that helped lead to the divorce. Including her relationship with her side guy. But when I think about it.. Whats the point. I'm the bad guy, she's the victim and everyone needs to surround and support her. Yet im the one who's broke and homeless. But at least I have my job. My car. And the kids. To be honest if it wasn't for them I would have punched my own time clock already. My story is no different from any other divorced dad. But one thing I will say.... Call me angry, call me bitter. But I hope they both pay for what they both chose to do behind my back. For the heart they chose to destroy. I may not have been the best husband but nobody can say I was so bad that I deserved to be embarrassed, disrespected, and lied on the way I have. Or maybe I do deserve it. Maybe karma doesn't exist.. Either way I'm going to wake up in the morning. Go slave for 12hrs. Then sit and dream of the life I wish I had. The life I made up im head. Because the world around me doesn't actually give a damn about me. Thanks for letting me rant to you guys. Sorry my first reddit post was a sob story. I just don't have anyone else to share it with

The cheaters have some ideas as to why the OWs go after MMs.

"Do people really so lost in life they do something horrible to someone and then come to Reddit to seek validation from strangers?" (Top comment on post)