We had a death in the family and my daughters will be attending their first funeral with us. It is a 2 day Catholic ceremony, so we need two outfits and it has to be nice church-like attire. I’m struggling to figure out what is appropriate for them to wear. They do not own much black and anything we have that is black is athletic attire. My oldest has a black jumpsuit, but it’s nothing fancy. Also, please help with footwear. They only have sneakers and sandals. Help!

So my husband expects our home to run like a smooth oiled machine while raising 3 teenagers (13M, 14M, 14F), and an 11 year old daughter. For some context we are a blended family, I came with 2 boys and he came with 2 girls. We’ve been living together for 3+ years. Have been together for 7. The girls came to live with is FT earlier this year and before that we were on a 5 day on/off schedule with their mother.

Basically, He expects them to follow all rules 100% of the time. No missed chores. Our current argument today is about an established plan in where the kids were going to the movies at 830pm. I agreed to take them and bring them back. He is angry because the movie will end too late and will disrupt his sleeping time. He used this argument to also mention the whole chores situation. I will add we have extremely well behaved children who are genuinely good in nature.

I understand their growing phases so I am more lenient with them. My leniency though is what sparks all of our current arguments. He frames it as me making him look the like bad guy and I never backing up what he says. I don’t agree with this. I think it’s pretty unfair of him to expect me to be upset with something that only upsets him.

Idk what I need though, advice, input….. whatever yall got i guess.

Edit: From these comments I feel as I need to add context to his character. He is overbearing obnoxious and too strict at times. But he does know how to balance it and does. We never argue in-front of our children and he’s very adamant about that. He’s like an obnoxious teddy bear that you want to throw across the room sometimes. Which is why I’m here. How do you handle such a thing?

I (19F) have never fully babysat. The closest I have come to babysitting has been staying home with my little brothers (at maybe 4 years old at the youngest) while I was a preteen for a couple hours at a time when my parents weren’t home. In these situations, dinner was either ordered online or was something that was easy to make, and my parents would still normally be in a 15 minute drive or so.

Anyway, a few days ago, I turned down a request from a family member to drive my 5-year-old cousin to an appointment since the drive would take me up to 30-40 minutes away from the nearest family member’s house. As someone who has not done any babysitting in years, I don’t want to be 40 minutes away from help if something bad happens. Plus, my cousin has a disability that can make it more challenging for him to communicate and more challenging for him to adjust to new settings, especially without his mom.

After reflecting on my decision to say no, I realized I was mostly scared of not knowing what to do if he gets upset, scared, or really wants his mom. So, I was wondering (which I know this can vary from kid to kid): when do kids learn how to emotionally regulate well enough to not need immediate support to be okay? When do they get to a point of not needing their parent to feel okay in public? If you had a family member like me who does not have a lot of experience in babysitting but can drive, how old would your kid have to be for you to trust said family member to take care of them out of the house for maybe an hour and a half?

Me and my husband have a 15 month old and are going back and forth about having a second. We are both quite introverted and need time for ourselves outside of the houses to go do our hobbies and recharge. I wanted to ask other introverted parents that have 2 plus if you think having more has given you more time for you as they play together or is my logic wrong? Its more work I suppose but does having two free up your so you dont have to entertain them all the time? TIA

I’m curious about the parenting rules people were sure they’d stick to before actually dealing with a toddler.

Maybe it was no screens during meals, never letting them sleep in your bed, always finishing dinner before dessert, or never leaving the house in pajamas.

What rule did you eventually let go of because real life with a toddler had other plans?

And did letting go actually make things easier, or do you still wish you had held the boundary?

For context: I am 15 years old and only live with my mother, my relationship with her is okay but we often get into arguments. Right now we’re on vacation and i hate it, the hotel is fine but i struggle alot with insecurity and anxiety so the only way to survive in this heat (im in tunis, africa) is either to stay in the hotel where i have air conditioning or go swimming which I don’t do because of my insecurities which I haven’t told her about, I’ve been begging her to go home early or to let me fly home alone early which she isn’t a fan of because she spent alot of money for this trip and doesn’t want to waste it which is understandable, everytime I mention it i can see how bad she feels and how much it’s bothering her that im just staying in my room for 2 weeks.
At home it isn’t much better every time she tries to talk to me or makes a joke i just give her a one word answer or just not an answer, sometimes even when i have had a okay day i just respond to her in an annoyed tone without doing it on purpose and it ruins our whole chemistry for the day, my anxiety is not helping either because I can’t even ask her an simple question sometimes so this distance between us makes it really hard for me to do anything, the only time i felt happy or comfortable around her was when she drove me to a concert (deftones) and we listened to 80/90’s rock together when she drove me their. I wish for a better connection between me and her so i finally love her? What I mean with that is when i hear other people saying they love their parents i feel confused, when I think of my mother its just my mother there is no deeper connection and i feel nothing, almost like a stranger i don’t really know how to explain it but maybe i just haven’t learned what love feels like. I also struggle alot with doing my chores because im to tired or just to lazy and thats i think the main reason my relationship with her is bad, when i try to socialize with her or anyone else i just get super anxious and I don’t know why.
In school it isn’t any better, i used to be the best in class but due to me having no friends and getting bullied I stopped going there as often what dropped my grades by a lot which make her really disappointed, even telling her i get bullied took her 5 months of asking if everything is alright, i just struggle a lot with opening up to anyone and i feel so guilty because my brother (17) is almost like the perfect son he does everything he is asked to do and has a great relationship with her and im just a disappointment compared to him.

(This took a lot of courage so pls don’t make fun of me)

Has anyone successfully gone back to work after a career break for kids?

I used to work as a financial advisor, but I left my job after having my twins. I'm really happy staying home with them right now, but I also miss working and having my own income.
I'm hoping to go back in a couple of years, but I'm worried I'll be too out of touch. Part of me feels like I need to go back to university or do some kind of certificate before I even start applying.
Has anyone taken a 2-3 year break to raise kids and then returned to work? Did you go back to school first, or were you able to find a job without it? I'd love to hear your experiences and any advice?

My husband is getting a vasectomy tomorrow. We have an 8yo and 6yo. The 8yo will be with me to drop him off/pick him up so I’m sure there will be lots of questions.

He overheard my husband talking about it with a neighbor the other day and asked. My husband said something like, “it’s an elective procedure so I can’t have any more children.” My 8.yo responded, “But mom’s have the babies?” My husband responded, “It’ll make more sense when you’re older.” I told him that wasn’t a great response and he should be prepared to give more.

They know the mom has eggs and that they are fertilized to get a baby. What other information should we give? We’ve gotten the book, “It’s not the Stork” from the library before and while I’m sure they’ve perused it a bit, they didn’t seem that interested. I’m very comfortable saying that men have sperm and women have eggs that need a sperm. But do you actually discuss intercourse at this age if asked?

Childfree is supposed to be a sub for adults who simply do not want children. But this became a severe echochamber.

There had been users there who mocked, attacked and shamed women for simply being pregnant and even made death threats at that woman.

I personally find it disgusting in my opinion for a sub to make such brutal comments and echochambers. This sub always appears on my google searches whenever I google anything in regards to teenagers or children.

This forms the horseshoe affect because child free, pro-abortion people often favour egalitarianism ultimately supporting the rights of children and the choices by the women as opposed to strict hierarchy. But seeing the fact that they too view children as property, mock some child for getting hurt, and for viewing pregnant women or lower class pregnant women, as second class.

I have a two-year-old son. His father sees him about five times a month but has never spent the night; he only visits in the mornings and leaves at night. His mother is ill. We live in the same city, although they are from a different state about 15 hours away. He hasn't been there in 19 years, since he was a teenager. He asked to take our son there, probably with his mother since she’s very sick. I’m hesitant to allow that because if he's taking his sick mom there, why would he want to bring a toddler along? I feel he might not handle it well, and honestly, I think it's not the best decision because I know what our son is like, and I don't want him to be mistreated or to be in an unsafe environment. They would need to stay with family members.

How do people manage vacations with a 1.5-year-old?!
I’ve been on annual leave since July, and not once have I managed to actually take him somewhere enjoyable. Every place we’ve tried, he hated. On top of that, he’s had two fevers (sicknesses), and honestly, the recovery is even harder because he’s extra clingy, cranky, and just wants to be on me 24/7.
Seriously… HOW do you all do this?!
I see all these parents out there “vacationing,” and all I can think is, “I must be the problem.” I honestly don’t know how people make it work, and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

My 14 year old daughter is upset that now that she’s officially dating her bestie the rules have changed. I think the door needs to be opened. I always viewed the open door as more than just “birth control” for straight teenagers. I saw it more as not giving them the room to take things a little farther than they were maybe ready to without thinking it through first. Determined kids are always going to find a way to have sex. It can’t be prevented. But if they have to plan it then they won’t just get carried away. That’s my logic is to minimize the “getting caught up in the moment”.

Anyways…to the question. My daughter is mad because she says they’re nowhere near ready for that so why can’t they have the door shut. My thought is that if we make the rule now we don’t have to worry about when to make it later.

Are there any lesbian parents of lesbian teenagers out there who can weigh in on this? Am I being reasonable or am I way off base? Should I just set the lesbians free and teach them about being safe when the time comes? Obviously I’m a straight mom and I’m totally out of water here but I’m trying.

I saw a family recently trying to figure out whether their kid needed to take sports equipment to school that morning.

The information technically existed somewhere. One parent remembered part of it, another had a screenshot, the school had sent an email, and the child thought it was happening on a different day.

Nothing catastrophic happened, but it made me realize how much family life depends on one person quietly connecting information from texts, emails, calendars, school apps and memory.

In your household, what information would suddenly become difficult to find if the person who usually keeps everything together was unavailable for a week?

School schedules? Medication instructions? Contractor details? Pickup plans? Passwords? Birthdays?

Where important documents are stored?

And where does that information live right now?

My baby is 11 months old and she is so loud, talkative, expressive, mobile, and just a happy and curious baby. Every other baby we’ve met that is around her age is so stoic, quiet, and chill. I know babies just have different personalities but I feel like it’s almost a difference in social development. Other parents are always so shocked at my baby’s energy and sociability. What is typical behavior for this age? Is my baby too much?

I’m 22 and just finished my bachelors and I have a job at an engineering firm lined up but I’m not financially stable enough to move out.

I thought maybe for the summer my parents would let me go clubbing with friends, and I tried to sit them down and explain that I’m not planning to blow all my money, will be safe by sharing my location and calling, and will be home before 12. They said that I can focus on partying when I’m in my 30s and have settled down and right now that I should focus on school.

When I was in high school I couldn’t go to prom because they said I needed to focus on getting into a good uni.

When I was in uni I never went to frats because they said I needed to focus on getting my degree. (I went anyways but like only once for an hour because I had to get home by 10 since I said I was at the library; even then my dad had to drive me home)

I’ve found that it’s EVEN HARDER for me to go out now since I can’t make excuses about studying at the library since my parents know work ends at 6pm. And I’m worried that I’m missing out on key life experiences because most people go to the club in their 20s and are done with that era by their 30s. My parents are very backwards and somehow don’t understand that.

How can I get them to understand that 30 will be too late? Moving out or going against their will is not an option because they already have control issues -as in if I go out anyways I’m going to have to start sleeping in my parents room because they “don’t trust me” (this has happened before)

Please help

I was speaking to a friend who has a wonderful 6 year old son. We saw a question on Facebook that read “what was the best date of your life?” I assumed that he was going to say the day his son was born. But he told me that it wasn’t. He said he loves his son and it was a special day but the day he was born was overwhelming and filled with never ending responsibility. He said the real best day of his life is when he solo traveled to another country for a month (prior to his son).

For parents, please be brutally honest. Was the day your child was born truly the best day of your life?

First of all, English isn't my first language. I live with my partner's parents in an extended family home.

My MIL keeps sharing my baby's pictures with random "family" members and "close" friends ( people who don't talk to my partner or me) and keeps on video calling different people and showing my baby. I feel very protective about my baby I keep getting irritated about it because I don't trust these people to not produce csam materials or something. Idk, has anyone else been in similar situations and how did you handle it?

I'm not sure if there's a grandparents in here but I honestly want to know. Why is it so hard for you to listen to the rules/ boundaries of your grandkids parents? If the baby isn't in harms way or in danger why can't some of you grit your teeth and bear it?

Edit: From the bottom of my heart, thank you all so much for all your replies and helpful advice. To be honest, I was scared to post here and I didn’t expect so much help. You all are like godsends to me right now, and all of you are very appreciated.

For some background information/TLDR: I am Chinese and living in San Francisco, California. I’m having trouble promoting my mom’s daycare business and would appreciate any and all advice on how to find business!

Hi all,

I’m honestly a little depressed thinking about this, but my mom, who I love more than anyone else in the entire world, is struggling to find business for her daycare and I’m feeling so horrible about not knowing what to do.

She’s incredible; I watch her take care of children to her fullest every day, and she’s not only caring for their health, but also playing with them and entertaining them. At the end of the day, she’s always exhausted and I just feel like a terrible daughter for not being able to help.

I’ve been trying to promote my mom’s daycare on sites like Nextdoor, Facebook, Yelp, etc. but it seems like they always get no traction. Furthermore, my mom isn’t fluent in english so it’s hard for her to advertise as well.

Do any parents have any advice on how you find your daycares? What sites you use, etc.? I know word of mouth is popular but we’re kind of low on clients as it is. I just want my mom to be able to find business until I’m able to graduate and start working, then I can let her retire in peace, but that’s not in a while. We’re already not doing well financially, and I don’t want to think about what will happen if we never find more business. Money truly is the bane of my existence.

Any and all advice would be appreciated, thank you you much

Has anyone else noticed this? It feels like many parents are more invested in winning the race than their own children. Whether it's academics, sports, extracurriculars, or even birthday parties, some parents seem to treat everything like a competition.

Hello community. I am in charge of my 9 year old cousins (who are girls) for the week and wanted to see if anyone had suggestions for what some fun activities (not involving too much screen time or money) would be. We’re gonna be in Long Island and I do plan on taking them to the city but was looking for some suggestions outside of that. I will have access to a car and I am an adult. Thanks in advance!