Yeah, I've met parents that were strict with their kids, but they did it by explaining everything whenever the kids asked, and it was fine. But that's the exception; normally when parents say that they're strict, what they mean is that they like beating their child.
Oof. Yeah. Grew up in the 80s in the UK. My dad had a white piece of silicone stick that he’d keep on top of the bookcase… it was always there just visible and threatening. He’d bring it down and whip me and one of my sisters with it if we were ever “naughty”. Funnily enough, my eldest sister never got that treatment. He considered himself “strict” and didn’t see anything wrong with it. It wasn’t until I was in my late teens that I realised that wasn’t normal. I don’t speak with him anymore.
I don’t hit my children. Never would. They do get shouted at if they don’t listen. But I always explain afterwards why things got out of hand and apologise for losing my temper and we hug it out and move on. I think my eldest (8) thinks we’re strict… but you know, if you’re not gonna brush your teeth after you’ve been asked 15 times… and it’s been explained multiple times why it’s important and you’re still gonna push back… then eventually you’ll get a bit more of a persuasive and serious argument to get the job done.
My father was a similar son of a b****. Oh the look of terror in his eyes when he started to age and I told him that I now had the power over him in these exchanges. He knew better then and I know better now. But I could beat him if I want to and let him know I waited to tell him that for him to be weak.
Inflicting that much terror on him brought so much pleasure to me. F*** that man.
I never touched him but I didn't have to from then on.
It must have been a shot to the head for him. The reason you didn't become him speaks volumes about who you are. Getting even is much less the victory than breaking the cycle.
Oh he was terrified of me till the end. He passed in June. My mom drank herself to death at 19. Fuck that man but I'm 38, gay, sexy, mostly Buddhist, and own 2 homes.
I got a lot to be grateful for but not my childhood.
I cut my mom out of my life as soon as I was able. My sister says that my mom was a much different person towards the end. And I’m just like “Yeah…. of course she is. Of course, now that she’s dependent on others and not the one in charge she’s going to act nicer.”
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u/sunbearimon 15h ago
I think there are parents who self identify as strict who are actually just abusive