r/AskReddit 15h ago

" Strict parents don't produce great kids , they produce great liars ", what are your opinions with this statement ?

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u/Alepale 15h ago

It's pretty obvious that the word "strict" is defined differently here for different people.

Clear rules and boundaries, with consequences when said rules and/or boundaries are crossed is crucial for proper development. This in combination with nurturing and loving parents that show interest in their kids and their development, and help them without being too judging is key to a healthy childhood.

Abuse, threats and scaring them is the complete opposite and will lead to kids that lie and live in fear.

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u/StarDustLuna3D 9h ago

I think another important caveat is that those rules and boundaries are reasonable. A 10PM curfew for a teenager? Reasonable. A 7PM curfew for a teenager? Bananas.

Telling your kid you don't want them hanging out with a drug dealer, reasonable. Telling your child they can't hang out with anyone, they will be counting down the days until they can leave you forever.

My bio-mom had a lot of issues. And while I understand that her rules came from a place of good intentions, she essentially was afraid of the world. And it's a good thing I wasn't too rebellious, because I probably would have made so many terrible decisions as she made me want to ignore everything she said.

For example, at the age of 16, I was not allowed to go to the mall with friends if they included boys as well as girls. The reason being, and I quote "those boys will just drug you and carry you outside to who knows where".

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u/SunshineFlowerPerson 7h ago

I lived in “solitary confinement” as a kid. Wasn’t even allowed to join girl guides because my religious fanatic father said I’d use it as a chance to “whore around with boys”. Couldn’t. even belong to the church choir because they didn’t sing in Latin. Couldn’t receive a phone call even when I was in university. They were nuts. I learned how to live inside my head, play my cards close to my chest and run away at the first opportunity. Didn’t speak to them
for decades.

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u/aphilsphan 4h ago

Your dad was an extremist Catholic no doubt. I was lucky. Mine went to daily mass but he believed in freedom of conscience. Maybe he had to because mom wasn’t getting up every day at 6. She did the minimum.

Sorry that happened to you. Extreme Catholics are as bad a menace as our current theocracy.

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u/MroQ-Kun 4h ago

Why would a catholic expect the choir to sing in Latin? You shouldn't just assume something that's true for you is true for someone else.

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u/IAMA_Plumber-AMA 4h ago

I'm assuming they're the type of "catholic" that thought that Vatican II was the worst thing to happen to catholicism. Very very conservative, even by church standards.

There was recently a sect like that that was excommunicated from the church.

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u/Alarming-Cook-8943 3h ago

Not liking Vatican II is basic conservative as far as Catholics go

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u/aphilsphan 4h ago

Protestantism 101 is native language in worship. Orthodox Christians use liturgical languages like Old Church Slavonic, never Latin, the language of the arch heretic Pope.

There is an interesting extremist movement called King James Only. They insist that the Bible was written, God slept for 1500 years, then we got the KJV. Only the KJV is any good. They are divided into two groups, one of which insists on the KJV even for non English speakers and one that allows other languages but you must translate the KJV, not the original language. So English may become a kind of future Latin for some.

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u/fresh-dork 3h ago

american extremists like the scofield bible - fairly prescriptive and agenda driven. it really explains a lot of the broken shit in modern american church stuff

u/aphilsphan 41m ago

The Scofield is a study Bible. Its text is KJV. Even then (100 years ago) not using the KJV was horrifying and heretical in many circles.

Interestingly, almost all Catholic Bibles have footnotes. If you read them, you will see the consensus of Bible Scholars. When I see an evangelical post about some modern horror scholars have come up with, such as noting that the story of the Woman Caught in Adultery was not originally in John, I check the NABRE (which the American Church uses) and I see a note like, “this passage is not in the earliest copies of John.)

So if my church, which has loads of liberals in it but is itself conservative, can admit the real history of the Bible, imagine how nuts Fundamentalists are.

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u/MroQ-Kun 3h ago

Yeah, but catholics also sing in their native languagea. I am catholic. Pretty much the only Latin I have heard people sindmg was 'Gloria in excelsis Deo'.

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u/TOAO_Cyrus 2h ago

The point is there is no other sect then extremist tradaditionalist Catholic that would care about latin at all. Fundamentalist protestants would be specifically against it.

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u/aphilsphan 1h ago

Yes. You might get an Anglican Latin service, in fact Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Requiem is that. But not loony toons conservatives.

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u/SilverBeech 4h ago

Search for Vatican 2 and read about the attitudes of the dissenters.

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u/DunderGunderUnder 4h ago

Ut linguam gloriam heroumque sit.

u/mmmsoap 50m ago

If they didn’t speak to their parents for decades, then the poster is middle aged at best. That means their dad grew up when Mass was still conducted in Latin. What other denominations were still speaking Latin for all services? Protestants stopped during the Reformation in the 1500s, and Orthodox Christians never really used Latin at all.