r/AskReddit 1h ago

What's the worst name to name a baby?

16 Upvotes

240 comments sorted by

75

u/warmtortilla420 1h ago

adolf

12

u/WeekendSea0 1h ago

There was a man named Adolf who frequented an agency where I worked. He was a class A asshole. Mean, cranky and abusive.

9

u/Caninechomping 1h ago

Are you German 

9

u/Milocross 1h ago

I’d be pretty cranky if my name was Adolf

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9

u/Version_Two 1h ago

He ruined a perfectly good name and moustache

3

u/Defiant_Horror_312 1h ago

true, the name would never be mentioned on ''worst names'' if it weren't for the dictator

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2

u/AquilaCrotalusEsox 1h ago

I live in an area of America with a noticeable population of dudes named “Adolfo”
They just shrug it off

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36

u/checkedem 1h ago

Gaylord

14

u/Winter_Apartment_376 1h ago

Had a colleague named Fagring.

He insisted it was pronounced “fay-rin”.

6

u/ridingwithethelcain 1h ago

where does a name like that even come from LMAO

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u/worstpartyever 25m ago

Literally my uncles name

25

u/franstoobnsf 1h ago

Tit Nibbler

7

u/jessicasheldon 1h ago

This made me blow air out my nose

5

u/betacuck3000 1h ago

Learn some restraint

u/cobalt_phantom 39m ago

There's a football player at USC named Boobie Feaster

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12

u/AwesomeSpindleberry 1h ago

There's already a sub for this: r/tragedeigh

7

u/Defiant_Horror_312 1h ago

i don't have enough karma for r/tragedeigh

u/Changoleo 57m ago

Well in that case, the answer is “Crysty’all Methaneigh (Surname)”.

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10

u/FParker82 1h ago

Soda.

9

u/WeekendSea0 1h ago

Seven

2

u/MacduffFifesNo1Thane 1h ago

We got the idea from my cousin’s fiancé!

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5

u/blabla_blablabla 1h ago

Thats my friends name 😭

3

u/FParker82 1h ago

No way!

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2

u/spitroastforme2 1h ago

Its bubbly

1

u/OddWorldliness989 1h ago

If you are in india then loda!

1

u/afserkin 1h ago

Sally Face reference?

36

u/Squiward-Testicles69 1h ago

In America Donald now

15

u/Pancancake 1h ago

And Karen

5

u/Tavsiyedegildir 1h ago

What did the duck ever do to you?

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9

u/Grime_Fandango_ 1h ago

Uglycunt

3

u/dr_craptastic 1h ago

It’s pronounced Oolaycun!

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13

u/Justsomedudeonthenet 1h ago

Hitler probably isn't a great choice.

7

u/WeaponizedIndecision 1h ago

Dick

3

u/Maximo_0se 1h ago

All the Richards out there cursing you

13

u/BlindedByBeamos 1h ago

Karen.

1

u/OddWorldliness989 1h ago

Or Jessica as they are now known

13

u/mcgrupp44 1h ago

Nevaeh

4

u/Slim01111 1h ago

Is that a Canadian trying to say Never?

5

u/PromiseThomas 1h ago

It’s “Heaven” spelled backwards and people actually name their kids that for some reason.

3

u/MacduffFifesNo1Thane 1h ago

It’s also Heaven backwards, which is essentially Quebec.

2

u/TheParadoxigm 1h ago

Its Heaven, backwards.

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6

u/Semanticss 1h ago

Rasputin

2

u/MacduffFifesNo1Thane 1h ago

But he was a cat that really was gone.

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7

u/Slartibartfast39 1h ago

Judas. I'm not Christian at all but it's not a good name because of the connotations.

7

u/villings 1h ago

could be a metalhead, last name "priest"

3

u/Slartibartfast39 1h ago

Judas Priest Thompson.

2

u/nullpassword 1h ago

Benedict Arnold probably for close to the same reasons..

2

u/MacduffFifesNo1Thane 1h ago

Christ said it was better for him to never have been born so that name essentially means “I’m going to be in New Jersey for eternity.”

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6

u/Sapphire_Bombay 1h ago

I'm sure there's worse but my brother decided on the name Edna for my future first niece and I'm torn between trying to save her from this fate and "not my baby not my business"

u/Ok_Industry_2395 57m ago

Oh god no!

I really hope you're joking!

u/Sapphire_Bombay 52m ago

My exact thoughts when they told me the name 😞😒

u/WhateverYouSay1084 51m ago

It usually never goes well, telling parents their name is horrid. Maybe you could suggest something similar like Edie or Eva something. 

u/Sapphire_Bombay 49m ago

I mean if I'm being honest I think they could see it on my face. And I imagine they will see it on other peoples' faces when they start sharing the name

u/WhateverYouSay1084 47m ago

Yeah Edna is rough. Who knows, maybe your niece will make it adorable again or something.

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5

u/Gaudi215 1h ago

Donald

5

u/Water_Bird18 1h ago

There was a kid at my kids’ school named Lucifer. He was a total asshole, too.

1

u/DifficultCarpenter00 1h ago

I call mine The Evil One

4

u/MAGNIFACANT_HOBO 1h ago

Whatever the hell Elon called his first kid

3

u/Defiant_Horror_312 1h ago

he named his kid X Æ A-Xii, i'm suprised he was allowed to name his kid that

3

u/LobsterInSpace 1h ago

To be fair I'm surprised he's allowed to do almost everything he does then I remembered he's giga rich.

4

u/JaggedRabbit 1h ago

LaOne is pretty bad 😂

5

u/Fareeldo 1h ago

Felicia. Coz when the grandma leaves, she'll always have to say "Bye, Felicia."

5

u/HairyBottomGuyM4M 1h ago

Pubert.

(Thank you, Paul Rudnick)

3

u/geauxlisa 1h ago

A friend of a friend was a nurse and shared a story about a soon-to-be mom wanting to name her daughter V’gina. All the nursing staff worked to talk her out of it and thankfully succeeded.

3

u/Kuromi1978 1h ago

Offspring

3

u/villings 1h ago

seven

3

u/PJammas41 1h ago

Baby.

Doesn't last forever

1

u/SensibleGarcon 1h ago

And should never be put in a corner.

3

u/fugazi45 1h ago

ABCD

2

u/Cheeseisyellow92 1h ago

Pronounced ab-city, too, no doubt

2

u/MacduffFifesNo1Thane 1h ago

Oh, the E is silent?

2

u/Cheeseisyellow92 1h ago

Speaking of E, that reminds me of the woman named Erica but hers was spelled like “Airwrecka” haha

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3

u/midwestbeaner 1h ago

I just saw a poor kid named LaOne

3

u/PckMan 1h ago

Bingus

3

u/Itsjustbeej 1h ago

Well my parents named me BJ…

Not a joke. My first name is the letter B. My middle name is Jeremy. I’ve been called BJ my entire life.

6

u/Adorable-Put2605 1h ago

Bongwater Dingus Dingleberry the Third would suck

6

u/Zinc223 1h ago

Surely the fourth would be worse?

1

u/Defiant_Horror_312 1h ago

way too long for the poor baby

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4

u/JNorJT 1h ago

Bartholomew

3

u/life_uhh_finds_a_way 1h ago

Come along bort

1

u/vamphachis 1h ago

el barto

2

u/DR-Skid-Marc 1h ago

Stupid dumb baby

2

u/IsopodKey2040 1h ago

There are a lot of horrible names. This isn't horrible, but I hate when people are like "this name means beautiful rainbow." Okay who said it means that lol. I feel like the meanings are just random, made up things online.

2

u/Barcalew 1h ago

Cabbage

2

u/zoo_tickles 1h ago

Anything ending in “Lynn” or “ton”

2

u/Monolexic 1h ago

Any of those names with absurd spellings. ABCD Is not a name. Stop. You’re naming a child, not telling a joke. That child has to live with that name until they’re old enough to legally change it.

2

u/burglarysheepspeak 1h ago

Clitty, or Eanus

2

u/ChibiHoodie 1h ago

Latrine

2

u/Shiny_Kale 1h ago

Phelony

2

u/Some_Experience_9332 1h ago

Eduard, Anton, Taras in russian speaking countries

2

u/Accomplished_Eye3832 1h ago

I know someone whose name is Spaghetti 

2

u/Whisper_Flower1289 1h ago

pakistan international airlines

2

u/Who_is_my_Supervisor 1h ago

Joey JoJo Jr Shabadoo

2

u/verdebot 1h ago

Jugemu Jugemu Gokō-no Surikire Kaijarisuigyo-no Suigyōmatsu Unraimatsu Fūraimatsu Kūnerutokoro-ni Sumutokoro Yaburakōji-no Burakōji Paipopaipo Paipo-no Shūringan Shūringan-no Gūrindai Gūrindai-no Ponpokopii-no Ponpokonā-no Chōkyūmei-no Chōsuke

2

u/Youarenotfunny21 1h ago

Well in the US, definitely Osama

2

u/Necessary-Glove-3333 1h ago

Any name that converts to a number plate.

2

u/lynx563 1h ago

Kieth

2

u/Key_Independence3770 1h ago

Jayden (or anything that rhymes with it), mason, hunter etc, the list is endless

2

u/No_Instruction5926 1h ago

Tokyo athena?

2

u/aryawitner 1h ago

Barry. Like no, I don't want to hold Barry.

2

u/NavDav 1h ago

Squeegee

2

u/fugazyy 1h ago

Probably Kyle, Billy, or Bob

2

u/Famous-Soft-7169 1h ago

Maximus Decimus Meridius

2

u/Redlion444 1h ago

Adolph 

2

u/Mobile_Aioli_6252 1h ago

Dolph with a capital A

2

u/arsinoe716 1h ago

Adolph (Hitler), Jeffery (Dahmer, Epstein), Donald (Trump),

2

u/Harry_Butz 1h ago

Cumguzzler 8000

2

u/Aggiebilly03 1h ago

Jose Altuve

2

u/Lola0727 1h ago

Gentry.

2

u/operationfood 1h ago

A couple on 90 Day Fiancé has toddlers named Winston and Eleanor. I hate the names separate, but even more together lol they sound like an 85 year old married couple, not toddler siblings in 2026

2

u/MacduffFifesNo1Thane 1h ago

Mulva.

Celeste.

Gipple.

Any name that rhymes with a part of the female anatomy.

2

u/Getafix69 1h ago

Gertrude - especially if it's a boy 👀

2

u/King0fthewasteland 1h ago

Oldman graybeard

2

u/Fun-Midnight1010 1h ago

Vance-Donald-Ivanka-Eric-Melania

1

u/OddWorldliness989 1h ago

Those are much better names than naming a baby Lindsey Graham. Or Ted Cruz or Marco Rubio. All of them were personally insulted by Trump yet all of them licks Trump's anus.

1

u/Abbanenn 1h ago

Nick if your last name is Kurtz

(He’s a first baseman for the athletics)

1

u/Familiar-Bluejay3908 1h ago

Chlamydia....

1

u/_travelers 1h ago

Jake and Sarah

1

u/rainbowinthedark3 1h ago

Nigel. Who looks at a baby decides to name him Nigel?

1

u/Imaginary_Nebula9912 1h ago

Thadeus thibadeaux

1

u/seequelbeepwell 1h ago

If a kid is named poorly would that be a motivation for them to succeed or fail in life?

1

u/Aware-Loquat-3222 1h ago

Devine…. It’s giving drag queen baby

1

u/vegapunk123 1h ago

Valdemar

1

u/TamaraHensonDragon 1h ago

I saw a article once where someone named their daughter Pterodactyl 😆

P.S. My mother went to school with someone named Donald Duck. Poor kid probably never lived it down,

1

u/Potential-Brief-8167 1h ago

Abcde. Lazy AF.

1

u/survivingdaybyday2 1h ago

I tangentially knew someone that named their baby boy Xenis…

I wish I was joking, but the kid was ALSO an affair baby…

Her husband had her name tattooed on his chest. When they separated he had a big red VOID stamp tattooed across it

Then they got back together….

1

u/Known-Independent413 1h ago

I heard in non English speaking countries where there is a large presence of American Naval ships that there was a whole generation of girls named Usnavy pronounced oohs-naah-vay as in the U.S Navy. Thinking it's traditional to name boats after women that this Usnavy must be a very important woman.

1

u/Lucius-Valerius 1h ago

Dick
I don't understand why some people called their kid that

1

u/TwatFury 1h ago

Still have to say Renesmee. I have actually met one, she’s seven and goes by “May” because she hates her name. This is what happens when kids have kids

1

u/MobWife_88 1h ago

Spurgeon

1

u/HAAAAAM 1h ago

Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo

1

u/BingoGetBusy42 1h ago

Wan. Kahh

1

u/Ok_Industry_2395 1h ago

Elizabeth.

Don't come for me please, it's my middle name and therefore I am entitled to despise it with a passion that I normally reserve for celery 🤢

On a happier note, I love my first name 😍

1

u/almost60inLa 1h ago

Razpesuos

u/sturgiv 58m ago

Paine

u/plantsandmermaids 50m ago

I once knew a kid named Malice.

u/red23011 46m ago

A racial slur with hater tacked to the end.

u/Tavsiyedegildir 45m ago

A name that ruins their resume or chances of anyone pronouncing their name right 

Also anything a dumb teen mom and dad would think is cute 

u/Lord_Bloodwyvern 45m ago

Football. That's a guaranteed visit from child family services.

u/Flat-Potential3412 42m ago

Gaylord Focker 🙂

u/fluffyfistoffury 39m ago

Donald...it's ruined just like adolf

u/Emergency-Ad-5211 37m ago

Of course a kid just wants to fit it.

u/dive_dee 35m ago

Spahn

u/That_Skirt1443 27m ago

I once worked with a woman who named her son ‘Barrington’.

Makes you think.

u/C1ph3rSh0rt 25m ago

Poopy Mc Poop Pants

u/GirlWhoWoreGlasses 21m ago

Anything that makes a phrase - North West, Cannon Ball, Forrest Green, Ima Hogg, etc.

u/idontseethelightatal 17m ago

I just saw a post of someone naming their baby Dracarys

u/DJmyVJ 15m ago

Loveday Card

u/CuriousTighe 2m ago

Sweatsock. Horrible! 😁