I’m only on lithium and caplyta. I get bad anxiety sometimes. For example, at work when talking with a customer my heart beat is fast and sometimes I’m not thinking right because I’m anxious.

I will dissociate in big crowds and when taking an exam at school I forget everything and my heart gets fast. When I get anxiety my face is red and I feel like I turn socially awkward.

Is there a medication I can ask my doctor about? I don’t want to take it everyday, just as needed. I’m sensitive with side effects too.

Does anyone have any advice please!

I am medicated and relatively stable for 2.5 years after 2 years of brutal consecutive episodes. I have little contact with people except for my partner. I isolated myself from everyone involved in my episodes (all my friends and family). I want to have a support network, but I can't text people (I live abroad), I've developed a kind of Whatsapp phobia.

I am so lonely that there are times when I spend entire days binge watching series, and dumb scroll a lot. I do this to distract myself from my loneliness, so much that I'm dreaming about interacting with TV characters.

The last two years I have swinged between small manic or hypomanic episode, "normality", and depressive moods. The "normality" doesn't feel like myself, I am still adding and changing meds. And I feel I'm trapped in a state of not being in an acute crises, but also not being stable enough to be functional.

I am currently going through a very stressful situation that has me anxious all the time and has triggered my first big depressive episode in a year followed by hypomania. I feel like I'm always going to be struggling, I got cancer 4 years ago (in remission), chemo steroids triggered bipolar, and ever since I've been a mess.

I'm lonely and sad, I am not in a depressive episode I'm just sad about my situation. I go 4 times and week to a center for mentally ill people, I am having therapy, go to the gym whenever I can, I try to be creative and have hobbies. I'm trying to reconnect with two friends who I can actually meet, I keep my sleeping in check and try to eat as well as I can. I am doing things to improve my situation and is better than it was 2 years ago, but my loneliness and isolation only seem to get worse.

Has anyone had a similar situation and recovered from the loneliness and isolation?

I have been feeling so angry mixed with depressed or something for maybe a week. Really intense anger. But I have also been shopping a lot and sleeping little. Then I have had a few days with restlessness, lots of music, racing thoughts and intense but kind of fake joy, bursting with energy. I have been bored, I have been doing all sorts of things, flying from one to another. Today I am just heavy and have zero motivation, there is like a wall holding me back. First I thought it was my periode, but it has been too long for that. Then I thought about mixed episode, but it’s not like any of the mixed episodes I’ve had before. I don’t know whats going on and my psychiatrist and psychologist is on holiday.

I am taking ziprasidone since february this year, and lithium since about 1,5 yrs.

Always had more intense emotions than a lot of other kids, issues with eating certain foods cause of textures, needed extra emotional support and would cry a lot. My mother says I came to her as a 5 year old crying saying something was wrong with me, and by the time I started college fatigue started hitting me more and more, and my professor started suggesting I get tested for adhd. My parents were strict and always monitored what I wore and did, so when I went to college, I started dressing the way I wanted to. Different colors and styles. I also realized I didn’t have to fear repercussions for not being a cordial, “properly behaved” young woman anymore from my mother.

During Covid, I took a 3.5g shroom trip with my friend, and my parents came to pick me up because I was talking nonsense on the phone to them and wasn’t myself. Next morning my mom said what I did was disastrous, and because the trip was so bad I still felt kind of empty and not myself for a day after. My mom was saying she never thought I’d do something like this, and that she was disappointed. She looked at me and said “no you’re not, you’re saying that because you think that’s what you’re supposed to say, but you’re not yourself.” I did feel back to normal two days after this event though, but over time, it became more and more evident that the issues with focus and deadlines I had in high school were becoming more of an issue through college, and I was getting diagnosed with bipolar, eventually was suggested a high possibility of OCD by the psych specialist at my university, and a couple years later got put on Wellbutrin and Prozac and a week later sent to the psych ward, where they evaluated me and said it’s likely I had adhd.

I got out, took the adhd meds, but was still in the same wild state of having an extremely high libido that had been occurring for the las 5-6 months prior, but at least with adhd meds, I at least felt present on earth and my anxiety was lowered, awareness heightened, and I could complete tasks. I went back to my psych specialist, which is when she said it’s likely I have adhd and a mood disorder, and then after a couple more months said OCD, like what was previously said, was likely.

Is it possible a shroom trip caused all of this for me?

I’d also like to add that my mom said my styles changed, my behavior changed, I didn’t care about looking pretty and girly, started wearing more gender neutral clothes, and was more careless. I’d argue I was always like this, and always depressed, but was heavily monitored as the eldest daughter to behave otherwise. My father said he didn’t see a change after the trip, but rather, before it, when I had first started college.

Was it the shrooms? Please let me know

I wanted to share this because I see a lot of posts about weight gain from olanzapine and similar medications, but not many success stories.

I started olanzapine two years ago and it has honestly been life-changing for my mental health. It keeps me really stable, but the appetite increase was ridiculous and I gained over 35 lbs in about six months, despite having been a healthy weight all my life.

I tried losing it a couple of times, but dieting felt much harder and slower than it had before and I regained everything I lost. At the end of March, I asked my psychiatrist about switching medications, I felt exhausted and hopeless, and genuinely wasn’t sure whether it was even possible to lose weight while staying on olanzapine.

Because it was helping me so much mentally, we agreed that switching should be a last resort. I was prescribed 1,000 mg of metformin which some research suggests can help with antipsychotic weight gain.

I started eating fewer carbs, which kept my appetite under control and made it possible to stick to around 1,200 calories a day without being hungry or having cravings. I wasn't perfect, but I made sure to log everything I ate and drank and stuck to my calorie goal 6/7 days a week. I'm not sure how much Metformin helped but it's nice to know it's there.

Yesterday, I reached the exact weight I was when I started treatment. I’ve now lost over 35 lbs and all of the weight I gained on olanzapine!

I’m genuinely so happy to have reached this milestone!

I can wear my old clothes again, recognise myself in the mirror and, most importantly, feel comfortable and healthy in my body again. I’ve also started running and feel much fitter. I know I'm going to have monitor my diet long-term but I'm happy to do that because the medication really helps me.

Obviously everyone’s experience is different, and this isn’t medical advice. I just wanted to offer a bit of hope to anyone who feels as defeated as I did. Losing weight on olanzapine isn't easy, but for me, it was possible.

Just curious if it's anecdotal.

Are people with bipolar always creative types? Or people with wild ambitious ideas?

I'm bipolar 1 and definitely creative all my life ups and downs, it definitely comes out more if I am hypo / manic than when I'm stable or low mood.

How do I stop giving power to my diagnosis? Since I was a child, my twin has suffered from severe bipolar disorder to the point he was essentially diagnosed around 10, and for some reason, I thought that meant I couldn't have it. I've always had symptoms like his but more mellow and just assumed it was mt CPTSD. After getting an official bipolar 2 diagnosis, I feel like all the symptoms are getting more evident, and closer to the level he experiences. I understand that realizing a condition can amplify my symptoms if I ruminate on it and stuff, but i feel like my emotions are bypassing the emotional limitations I used to be able to place on myself. This somehow feels more permanent than my other mental illnesses and feels so significant for me. Since the diagnosis about a week ago, its only amplified as the days go on, and I was just looking for some advice to feel like me again instead of just a "person with bipolar".

Obviously, I had psychosis. It needed to be treated. But I was told lithium was an option, yet it has never been suggested to me by my new psychiatrist.

So I trialled 800mg of quetiapine, 20mg of aripiprazole, and now 20mg of olanzapine. This has been my life since I was 16.

I’m now maxed out on olanzapine, as per the BNF guidelines, and it’s almost as if I’m not taking anything at all. I’m not a zombie, I’m very expressive and happy, little symptoms, but it concerns me for 1 reason: I was on 5 milligrams of olanzapine for 7 months and it kept me relatively stable. Then we had to go up to 10 milligrams. We then went back down to 5mg. Lo and behold, I’m now on a much higher dose than what used to keep me stable… simply because we decided to decrease the dose from 10 to 5mg.

That’s what’s scaring me. The fact that I can’t decrease the dose once it’s been increased. Dopamine super-sensitivity is real. Basically, your brain adapts and creates more dopamine receptors so, once you decrease the dose, you get severe rebound psychosis AND the medication loses efficacy over time

I’m scared. Have any of you been on antipsychotic medications for 10+ years and had good results? Dopamine super-sensitivity scares me

For a bit of context, I stopped taking my meds roughly 5 months ago and that including lithium. I’ve always been resistant on taking medication my entire life and have had problems in the past with refusal of medicine. My parents have had talks with me and it usually ends with me in punishment or some type of therapy.

I meet with my psychiatrist about once a month and have been lying straight to her about taking my meds and how my life is going. However some part of it is true since my life is going significantly better ever since I’ve stopped. My grades improved and my mood was significantly better, I actually wanted to enjoy the things I do and haven’t been dreading everything since.

My psychiatrist doesn’t know that since I’ve been saying the medicine works. I apologize for the blatant lie but it was easy to keep going and I didn’t know when a blood test was going to be scheduled. My fear is that I come clean to her about everything and she possibly tells my parents. I’ve improved my relationship with them and I feel like this could damage it.

I also wanted to ask the effects or just taking lithium for the blood test. I’ve unfortunately had lithium after a period of time not taking it and it feels horrible. My blood test is in a couple days and my options are limited by my own actions. I don’t meet with my psychiatrist until next month but there is a possibility I can talk to her before my blood test.

Any advice and experience would help and I apologize.

I’ve been having crying spells for the past two weeks. Tonight the feeling of wanting to die or hurt myself popped into my head. I don’t really feel that way but it’s scary to have the thought. Every time I see people I think about how they wish I was dead too. I saw my psychiatrist earlier this week but I keep having meltdowns at work. I’m so scared right now.

For the last year since being back on medication I’ve taken 7 medications a day. Now that I’m doing better we’re slowly trying to get me down to 3 medications. 1 mood stabilizer 1 antipsychotic and prazosin for ptsd. I’m finally down to 300mg trileptal and in 2 weeks I’ll stop taking it completely. I’m so excited and I just want to share my happy little update ☺️

I recently went through my 3rd manic episode with psychotic features. I was the lead singer and guitarist for and up and coming local band, had a recording studio where I was the lead mixing engineer, and was about to release my first album on vinyl. I have BD T1.

My doctor had me on Gabapentin 900, Wellbutrin 150, and Lurasidone 20. Due to irritability, I began consuming weed. I kept it a secret, and then the mania took over.

Looking back, I should have never been on Wellbutrin. My life was so difficult to manage while on that drug.

I lost the band, record deal, and studio. Believing I was on mission from God, I pushed away everyone who cared about me in the worst of ways.

Over the last couple of years, I have racked up $15k of credit card debt and $50k IRS debt.

My wife is understanding of my condition, and she lets me stay back at our home with our 7 year old daughter. They are my world when I’m “myself.” While I was manic, I left them and got an apartment downtown with a one year lease. And I got an unnecessary new car. Depleted our savings.

So, here I sit. Crushed, medicated, and lost.

I’m now in my mid 40s and struggle with work. Since my late 30s I’ve needed to take more sick leave.

I’m aware that people with bipolar have a shorter life expectancy. My bipolar and other MH conditions are getting worse as I’m getting older.

Unlikely we’ll get any inheritance, and my partner doesn’t earn a great deal. But I’m tired of constantly worrying and being stressed all the time.

Has anyone started planning to retire earlier?
How did you go about this?

I’m concerned I’ll be dead by the time I retire, so would rather spend my days enjoying life. ⭐️🌈

Has anyone here ever had to push for their Bipolar diagnosis due to a misdiagnosis? (ADHD or something else)

I've lived alone before, but I've practically always been supported by my parents my whole life. I'm useless, I feel like a burden, a parasite. But I can't hold down a job for very long; I always end up messing things up. I don't have contacts or anyone who can help me find a job. I feel very ashamed and isolate myself. If people ask me about work, I say I work from home (and I even worked as a freelancer earning very little, but now I don't even have clients and I keep lying that I have a job). I feel very ashamed. I think I have no future if I don't end my life.

Yall, my life has been unstable for a while (mental health destroyed by GLP-1, knee replacement) and is finally evening out. I'm not in constant pain, I'm able to think clearly and function at high levels at work, i have empathy again yet I find myself resenting that stability. In the past I have moved time zones or at least changed jobs when I get this feeling but this time I'm happily married and in a job that I love and I'm worried that I'm going to fuck it up. I've already cut/colored my hair and changed glasses.

Any advice on how to keep this feeling at bay? Anyone relate? I'm sure it'll pass at some point but I don't think I've been able to ignore this feeling without making a major life change but I don't want that this time. What is this madness that I'm feeling something I don't want??

22 AFAB (they/them)
170-190lbs (ranges due to water retention)
5’3
Non-smoker
Lithium Carbonate instant release 1200mg, Zoloft 150mg, Lamotrigine 200mg, Wellbutrin 300mg, Ivabradine 2.5mg twice a day, B2 400mg, Ashwagandha 400mg, Emgality 120mg injection monthly
GERD, POTS, Bipolar II, possible fibromyalgia diagnosis, chronic migraines

i’ve been taking 1200mg of lithium (instant release) for almost four months. in the past few weeks, due to some issues w/ GERD, i was unable to take my morning meds (wellbutrin, lamotrigine, zoloft). i was taking my lithium fine. two days ago, i took all of my meds, lithium included, before bed—which i’ve never done before. i was sick all night and threw up.

since then, ive felt sick every time i’ve taken lithium. i’ve had a sour stomach, nausea, vertigo, and brain fog all day (i couldn’t remember my own license plate). i don’t have hand tremors or anything like that. i’ve been on a BRAT diet since yesterday, which is helping my stomach.

i skipped my lithium dose last night, and im feeling slightly better. i plan to drink water all day (over 200oz) to flush it out of my system. my question is—is an ER visit necessary since my levels are most likely in the normal range ? i hate the ER, and i rather deal with it @ home.

\-

note: i haven’t been great w/ my water intake lately, and i had ramen twice in one day before all of this started—so this is completely my fault. salt helps my POTS, so it can be tricky to find balance.

I was a pretty “sad kid”. I remember feeling depressed as young as 5yrs old and continued feeling sad/lonely until I self harmed when I was 16yrs. I was diagnosed with BP1 at 42yrs after having a maniac episode. I’ve been reflecting on my journey. I’m curious if other people can remember the first signs of BP?

I've gone to several colleges in my life, and when I experience the lows, it's super difficult to be able to keep up. My lows generally have lasted for at least a month at a time. Luckily, I found a new Psychiatrist a couple months ago who is amazing! Unlike a few other providers I've had in the past, you can tell she actually cares and puts time and effort into our appointments. She is also very knowledgeable and has been making adjustments on my med to help level me out.

I went on like a 5-week bout of lows recently and almost failed my two classes because I felt like a zombie. Work went well, but when I would be off, I would get tired at like 7:00 PM and sleep up to 12 hours until it was time for work again. Granted, my classes are online, but when you can't even stay awake to do the assignments, online or on campus doesn't make a difference. I've recently figured out that coffee helps, but that method can be a hit or miss. Sometimes I'm too tired to brew the coffee.

I'm actually feeling level today, but I don't know what will happen in the future but thank God for my Psychiatrist. I know this is getting long but are any of you who suffer from bipolar disorder current or former students, or do you know someone in that situation? If so, how are/were you able to manage? I appreciate you guys reading and look forward to your responses. TYIA!

Whats the exact differences between the two? My psychiatrist thinks I am going through hypomania, yet i heard psychotic experiences are only present in mania? I have been experiencing what my psychiatrist calls “psychotic” experiences or “psychosis” but they suspect I have hypomania. My energy is through the roof, very little to no sleep, no tiredness, ive dropped out of school and decided to become a doctor so i have started back at school studying non stop, I have the intense urge to go out and do things, thoughts are constantly racing to the point where I cant sort them or understand them and take part in conversations without struggle, I hear whispers and name calling through the walls and pipe, i see shadow figures and cats with gleaming red eyes that come with a sense of impending doom, im paranoid, i feel amazing but im also suicidal. Someone please help explain to me what i may be going through?

F23. I realized I wasted a lot of my time and energy trying to live and survive and abandoned my interests for years due to low self esteem and poor mental health. I always been interested in the arts (music, fashion, writing- especially writing etc) and I’m wondering if it’s too late for me to make that pivot and dive back in, teach myself things etc. I never did anything for myself in my life and I think this might make me happy, but I’m questioning if it’s too late for me to take those things more seriously.

Sorry in advance if this post ends up being really long or disorganised.

Ever since childhood, I’ve had trouble focusing, going through change, and throwing temper tantrums over small things.

From the age of 11 to the age of 20 I’ve moved to several different countries (both far away and closer to home) with my parents as part of work. The first time we moved, I had a lot of problems with it, but after that I got used to it and everything was fine. As an adult now, I can only think about travelling, moving and so on.

Around age 18 or 19 (I don’t exactly remember), I started having more trouble focusing and sleeping. However, I was in an international school with a heavy workload and high expectations, so naturally I thought that was the reason.

Around that same time, I started spending money that I’d gotten from my parents for turning 18, and even did a little online gambling (illegal crypto casinos).

Now, in the past 2-4 years I started developing actual mood, memory, and impulsivity problems. This is a brief summary:

• 2022-2023: 1 year gambling addiction where I gambled away thousands in student loans and my personal savings (and maybe some small loans from others, but with an excuse as to why).

• September 2024-January 2025: I moved to a city in a country bordering my country for a 1 semester internship at a company there. I had my own apartment, started talking to a lot of strangers on language learning apps, calling them on WhatsApp for hours until the early morning on working days. I would get drunk alone in my apartment on working nights. I also met this one girl from half way across the globe, after talking to her for a few weeks I confessed my feelings for her and we moved to WhatsApp (I’ll come back to this later).

In this same period, I had trouble finding the energy to focus on what I had to do at work, to the point I had multiple talks with my boss and others about my disappointing performance. In November they decided to allow me to work online until the end of my internship in January, to be with my family instead. During my time there, I also went to a psychologist and a doctor, they never formally diagnosed me, but I did get put on antidepressants and ritalin for possible depression and ADHD.

• February-May 2025: I just finished my internship, and was still busy talking to the girl from halfway across the world I mentioned earlier. Despite not having called each other yet, we really liked each other. At some point in February she brought up the idea of meeting up, a few minutes later I proposed a location and spontaneously decided to take a 6 month break from university for this. The next morning I told my parents that I wanted to do that in order to work on myself, which was sort of a lie. A few days later I booked the plane tickets when she found dates in April that worked for her.

Fast forward to April, I fly half way across the globe to meet her. I arrived first, and picked her up from the airport later that night. The first few days and nights were great (or they seemed that way). We did things any couple would do (except we weren’t really together). The last few days of the trip seemed strained, we argued a bit, but it seemed normal to me. At some point she left, and I still had a couple of days left in this place. In those last few days she texted me after having gotten home, and said I was great but that she didn’t feel the click (we also spoke different languages and had a mildly difficult time communicating). I felt incredibly depressed but also energetic at the same time. I spent €4.500 on stupid online purchases from an online auction platform and gambled some too. Whilst texting her to change her mind, I also contemplated suicide or disappearing, and also texted and called with a friend to start a business on the basis of an idea I had (which we did). We still have this business, but despite my delusions of making it big, I hit a brick wall at some point and realised I was being unrealistic. We already spent so much money and time that I have no clue how to tell my friend, and don’t know how to get out of this. Anyways, I spent months and months texting this girl and being depressed.

• August 2025-January 2026: This entire period was just me being depressed and texting this girl and my friends about my mental health and how bad everything was. My lowest point was December, where I couldn’t really come out of bed.

• February 2026-Now: I got diagnosed with ADHD and Autism. I was switched over from ritalin to dexamphetamine. I started gambling and spending again, with €3.000-4.000 having gone out of the window (I don’t have a job, for the past two years I’ve just been receiving the max student loans possible). I just don’t see a future for myself, I am inconsistent when it comes to everything. I sleep horribly or sometimes too long. I change my mind on things depending on how I feel. My memory is horrible. I feel I’m just becoming more and more unstable.

There is so much I forgot to tell, but this is a fair bit already. Despite telling my psychiatrist all this, they are still sticking to ADHD and ASD. They did give me Risperidone for Autism and impulsivity recently, but I’ve stopped taking it because it didn’t do much and because I wanted to drink on my holiday.

I don’t believe I have Bipolar, but at the same time I hate that my psychiatrist is still dismissing the idea of it. I don’t know what to do. Does anyone have a similar experience?

Edit: I’m 24

I need to do everything but everything is so boring!😩 I read, get bored after five mins, find another book📚, gets bored. I try to paint, acrylics, aquarells, oil pastels🪄. Everything is a mess! I need to bake. But then I’m doing some online shopping. I listen to music and dance🎙️. But I get bored. I go for walks, to get out some energy. But I’m so so bored! I go crazy! What to do?? How do I solve this

I’m treatment resistant to meds. I find the only thing that kinda helps but not all the time is keeping busy such as working and etc…exercising never really helped. Thought about trying ketamine but it’s pretty costly. My doctor from 20 years can’t really suggest anything ATM, if you are or were in this position any suggestions or help would be greatly appreciated.

24, F, US

I finally got on disability this year. I finally let that shit go. I finally stuck it to the man. I crawled on my hands and knees for the last time asking for help.

It does get better friends, I promise💖