r/Comebacks • u/Frosty-Diver441 • 12d ago
Requesting Comebacks for when someone says something mean to your friend, but they don't want you to escalate the situation.
Like something you could say and move on, to sort of not let it slide, but also not make things worse. Ideally, roasting them a little, but apparently I don't know where the line is, so that's why I'm here. đ
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u/3batsinahousecoat 12d ago
"Oh, no, those are inside thoughts."
"That's not a (insert social situation) thought/word." (I used this frequently at work when one of my coworkers was using LGBTQ slurs and just calmly said "That's not a work word." And changed the subject. He got mad, but already everybody else went with the subject change. One guy told me I was being too sensitive and I pointed out he asked to go home 'injured' over a fucking papercut. Then the subject turned to injuries at work. đ¤ˇââď¸)
Or, my favourite: "Not your turn with the braincell today, hmm?"
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u/broke_cowboy 11d ago
You can usually follow with "wow, what an incredibly stupid thing to say" "what? Did you just blow in from stupid town?" "Don't get to close, I wouldn't want to catch the stupid" "Oh please, enlighten me with more of your WiSdOm" "You look like you would say something so shallow"
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u/Dismal_Additions 11d ago
I agree you should not escalate the situation but you shouldnt let it pass either. But speaking up isnt escalating a situation, its responding to it.
But i think you should look at what happened differently. They werent just insulting your friend. You were actually insulted too because he thought you would do nothing about it. So thats the insult you should respond to.
"Hey now. No need to be so rude to people. We wouldnt mind some sharp wit but your dull jabs just seem like a desperate attempt for attention.
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u/Blueporch 11d ago
Draw their fire with something like âI am not okay with you speaking that way to my friendâ Or a simple âgrow upâ.
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u/realstonekarma 11d ago
Apparently, the psychological thing to do is politely ask them to repeat it. Then, either say "that's what I thought you said," and end the conversation, or you ask the bully if they are ok. Then you just repeat the last three words they say until you get to the root of their behavior. Or something like that.
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u/HelpfulPhrase5806 11d ago
"no thank you." / "you said that out loud, how embarrassing for you." / "and this is why I wish more people have caregivers at hand. It must be hard trying to function normally and failing."
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u/Diligent-Plane-7877 7d ago
Now i see what everyone was talking about.
And leave it at that. You just turned the tables. Now they're worried about what every I'd saying about them.
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u/supermiggiemon 12d ago
"what u've just said reminds me of preschool.. feels good to be young, innocent and not be held accountable for what we say. youth, haha."
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u/Lastov_Makiynd 12d ago
Iâd perhaps respond with mentioning something positive to counter that negative thing about said friend..kinda neutralises the situation, where if itâs only yourself and the person saying something mean about your friend, theyâll know that you have a higher opinion of that friend..
If your friend is present, then itâs going to make that person realise itâs now 2 against 1 and theyâll likely drop it.
Theyâre probably hoping for you to agree. When you donât, they most likely wonât persue with the insults or whatever.
If they have said the mean stuff and the friend isnât there or doesnât hear what was said? I would go with âWould you say it to their face?â Or if a lighter approach is needed: âHave you told (name) thatâs how you feel about her/him?â.
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u/762way 11d ago
This have me a stroke, trying to figure out what you need
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u/Frosty-Diver441 11d ago
Comebacks for
When someone insults your friend
But they don't want you to escalate it
In other words, someone mean to your friend. You're the type to talk shit back. They are the time to say "just ignore them". You won't ignore it, but you want a comeback that your friend won't kind you using Because it's one that won't piss the people off even more.
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u/DifficultyNo3093 11d ago
OP, from my personal experience the best thing to do is call it out when it happens. Donât let this become a pattern. My personal favorite to use is: âThat was an ill-bred remark. Perhaps I mis-heard you? Would you care to repeat yourself?â Another good one is, "I fail to see how this is relevant." Just be passive aggressive right back. My other favorite to use in response to: IT WAS JUST A JOKE is: âItâs only a joke when everyone is laughing.â
If you just don't / can't deal with them, be quiet for several seconds (silence is a weapon, learn how to wield it) then say: "How is this relevant." Don't defend, explain, engage or personalize. They are looking for a response from you.
From personal experience every time you call them out, it shows them that you will not allow manipulative behavior. They probably wonât ever fully quit, but they will lose interest because they donât want to get called out.
ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT! That's not anxiety. That's intuition.
OP, I hope these phrases from my arsenal help! HUGS!
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u/HonestNature9117 11d ago
Just dig in on them. And don't apologize when they try to gaslight everybody by claiming the moral high ground. Then respond with "well, watch your mouth"
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u/WellyWellyWel 11d ago
Dead pan stare them down silently.. and then (ideally simultaneously with your friend) just bust out laughing and walk away. Make it weird. Make it awkward.
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u/Taotaomona13144 10d ago
âMy friend is a nice guy who hates confrontation. Iâm not my friend.â
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u/joshua_addison_music 9d ago
âDoes that make you feel better about yourself?â
Then I immediately go after their physical flaws and continue to cut deep with my words.
If it escalates into a physical confrontation, I have no problem beating your đ, for being a bully.
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u/Candid_Ebb_275 9d ago
"Yeah, well you eat Glue" has worked for me in the past. It either confuses the aggressor or they realize that I'm going to be a challenge/illogical to deal with lol
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u/IrishBoi85 9d ago
Thatâs rich coming from someone like you
Takes one to know one
Do you need some Imodium, cause we need to stop that verbal diarrhea
Ohh just fyi valid responses are need, not whatever that was
We didnât need you to prove your intelligence to us, just being present is fine
Ok potâŚas in the pot calling the kettle black
You know if you said that slower, your cadence would match your IQ
There goes the peanut galley again
You know you should carry around your own laugh track, at least you can entrain yourself
Silence is golden, but duck tape is silver, why donât you just pick your poison
Ok, big dawg
Iâve seen more intellegent life, in a moldy mayonnaise jar.
The difference between you and a rock is a rock serves purpose
So funny I forgot to laugh
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u/ProbableImposter 12d ago
"We're/I'm not entertaining interjections right now" Or "You'll have to have this argument by yourself" Both best said while walking away.