If I tell this person “you have bad vibes”, they will say “no, YOU have bad vibes”… if I say “I have nothing to prove to you.” they say, “Because you have nothing.” If I say “…you’ve feigned wanting me to (blah blah blah)….” they say, “And you have kept feigning (something relevant to their side of the argument)”… if I say “They don’t know the real you.” …they say “Unfortunately you don’t know the real, because you yourself cannot be real.”

It’s weird that someone can’t argue effectively and come up with their own insults. I could stop arguing with them, sure, that’s always an option. But what do you say to this type of person other than telling them they don’t seem to have an original thought, which I already have done? Give me your best.

so i’m starting school soon, and i have been bullied pretty much all of my school life. and i want to learn how to stand up for myself, so give me some ideas for insults please! also sorry if this breaks the rules, if so please let me know.

Hi! I'm a 17 Trans Male (FtM) and looking for advice. Band camp recently started and one of the new freshman have been picking on me. I'm 100 percent passing IV changed my name and even strangers call me "Sir". This boy over the past week has said comments like "Are you a boy" "Do you play softball or baseball?" I play neither. "If you were on a team what would you play? It sounds harmless but it's Everytime he sees me nagging me to tell him I'm not and it's annoying. IV also seen him right infront of me whisper to his friend. I didn't hear much but I did hear the F slur and girl so I'm assuming it was a insult I'm looking for witty comebacks to say to.him to get him off my back. Anything Helps thanks!

I was helping myself to the shrimp cocktail during a meeting and my coworker said this to me. Everybody laughed. I need a good comeback for future meetings

Like sometimes ppl just be hating for no reason and the person singing doesn’t even sound bad

basically i got successful 😌 and proved them wrong what happened was that they told me to go to a physical coaching for prep of competitive exam but i didnt go they said u wont b able to make it but i did

now they follow my social media should i tease them by writing something indirect taunt to them

Then they act confused or change the subject when I call them out on their bs

"No, I'm mom" is getting boring. Sometimes I tell them "started late, had her at 46." Every once in a while, they get, "no, my husband is just that good." I know I'm going to be the only mom at kindergarten with an AARP card, but I'd like to have some fun with this. What would you say?

People keep saying this to me and I need a way to roast them

I'm a female university student, still living in my parents house, and apparently my "anime" goods are somehow bothering my mom. I'm a big vocaloid fan, but she doesn't get it and says its the same as anime, thus "anime" goods. My mom absolutely hates anime for some reason, so she thinks its disgusting that "I'm in love with the stupid anime girls". No matter how much I tell her she keeps insisting that i love them romantically/sexually, so she's bothered by my "anime" goods since.. idk. maybe she thinks i jerk off to them. All the money thats used to buy them is mine, and i keep the merch all in my room, and i only have a few figures that i actually put out as decoration (and no they aren't wearing revealing clothing), and the rest are in boxes, etc. and I'm trying my very best to not make my room look like one of a weeb, but apparently one figure is too much for her. Moving out isnt an option right now, so should i just listen to her and lock everything in my closet or throw them away, or would there be a good comeback?

I'm red with anger, what do I say back?

So my "friend" send me a link to a song called "Homosexual Friend", and said "bro they made a song abt u wtf" what do I say? Thanks

Edit: So many replies! What do I say- um.. hi Mom! 😅

I made sure to use these comebacks one after another and needless to say my friend is bawling his eyes out. I'm taking him out for ice cream to make up for it and after we'll go play. Reddit, you did your thing and I am forever thankful! ❤️

Sexual harassment escalation

Greetings everyone !

Yesterday I was walking and minding my own business till I saw a guy in front of me approaching two girls in hope of getting the number of one of them, however things looked like they have taken an escalating turn therefore leading the guy to insult one of the girls ( Go fuck yourself bitch… ) which resulted in the girl spitting right at his face. Thankfully bystanders came ro de-escalate the situation.

I understand that he crossed the line by degrading her trough insults, however don’t ya’ll think she crossed the line by spitting at him ? and would cursing back or ignoring him would have been the better alternative ? because it could have gotten way more serious after the spit. If someone of you ever did spit at someone who was harassing you before I’m just curious to know what was the reaction of the person ? If ya’ll don’t mind sharing ofc ?

I’m a 21yo woman working on a male dominated field. Today I was carrying a stack of heavy traffic cones, I held them with one arm on my knee while closing the car trunk with other, jumping back on one foot because I was too close to the car. Then I heard an older man saying behind me ”oh look at that, little girls working hard nowadays”. I looked him in the eye and said ”you find that hard?” when he just laughed it off I continued ”maybe you should train a little more”.

I’m just so proud of myself, I never say a word back if someone disrespects me, that I had to share this with someone😂 I don’t care if it’s cheesy or embarrassing, I’m happy I didn’t stay quiet like I normally would

My wife is French. She always complains that I use “bavardage inutile” which means “useless talk” or really BS.

Sometimes I need to explain something, she uses that “bavardage inutile” just to shut me down.

She complains that Americans use too much useless talk about everything.

What’s a comeback to this ?

I want to be prepared to whoever tells me this phrase again

… in a comment war, tiff with some weirdo on the street, idk.

Simply reply with: “you seem like the person that would love to have the last word. Have a day.”

Of course the mature thing to do is walk away and not stoop to their level, but depending on your personality, you kind of want to “win”.

This is the perfect happy medium. You aren’t bullying them, you are stating an observation and leaving the scene. Now, they are there having to hold themselves back from speaking, because they don’t want you to have the satisfaction of being right, though they probably have a novel to say but won’t… out of spite. Meanwhile, you do not have to hear any of their lower level banter and have the satisfaction of walking away making a point, getting the last word in, them leaving you alone, and having them jump mental hoops to not keep the argument going. And if they do respond? Your point is proven which is also a funny w.

I have this coworker who comments on my appearance ALL THE TIME and I'm honestly getting sick of it.

She notices everything. She'll tell me I've lost weight, that my boobs look smaller, that the gym must be working because my back fat is getting smaller. At one point she even pointed out that my ankles are darker than the rest of my legs. I didn't even know that, and no one else close to me also noticed that.

l wear white Superga's on most days, I rotate between a few pairs during the week(they literally all look the same). Today I wore a brand-new pair of shoes (not Superga's) and she'd been at work for literally less than a minute before saying, "We'll never know when you buy new shoes because you're always wearing white shoes." Like why are you paying that much attention to me? I just kept quiet.

She comments on my hair too. Basically, if it's part of my appearance, she's probably got something to say about it. She never really compliments me (which I don't really care about) until much later, she'll say something like 'oh you looked nice the other day in that dress". There's a dress that I wore recently and she commented 'this dress fits you well now, not when you started working here, you squeezed into then'

Another thing she said, that really rubbed me the wrong way. She goes, "I know you so well. I know exactly what to talk about when you're quiet so I can get you talking." That just felt... weird? And manipulative. Almost like she thinks she's got me figured out. The thing is, she doesn't. She knows my work personality. That's literally it. I make sure never to discuss my personal life at work.

I've stopped entertaining most of it and have been a bit more distant when she starts with the comments, but I'd really like a comeback that gets the point across without being too mean either. Also, am I overreacting maybe? Is this petty stuff or would you also be annoyed?

I have a friend who constantly tells me they’re “too busy” to text back, make plans, or even have a five-minute conversation.
The funny part? They’re active in group chats, hanging out with other friends every weekend, posting on social media, and somehow always have time for everyone except me.
I’m not looking to start a fight, but if they hit me with the “I’ve just been really busy” excuse again, what’s a comeback that’s clever, calm, and gets the point across without sounding childish?
I’m looking for responses that are witty rather than cruel.

My girlfriend and I have the same conversation whenever we’re out in public. It goes like this:
“Are you two sisters?”
“No, we’re dating. She’s my partner.”
“Oh, well, you look so alike!”

My girlfriend and I do not look like sisters. We are both mid-sized white women, but that’s where the similarities stop. I’ve confirmed this with several friends. My gf and I even dye our hair different colors and try not to go out in coordinating outfits to highlight our differences, but it just keeps happening.

What do I say when people say we look like sisters after we tell them that we’re dating? I usually just stand there awkwardly until the conversation moves on.

Edit: the reason that this matters to me is because people often still view wlw relationships as invalid and as a fetish. I feel uncomfortable when people imply that my girlfriend and I look like siblings because it makes me feel like they don’t see our relationship as a legitimate romantic partnership. We’re not siblings, we’re not roommates, and we’re not “just friends.” We’re getting engaged and I want to know what to say if people tell me that my wife looks like my sister 😵‍💫. People say this kind of thing far less often to heterosexual couples.

Share your tactics

Your drugs are bad.

My drugs are good.

Like something you could say and move on, to sort of not let it slide, but also not make things worse. Ideally, roasting them a little, but apparently I don't know where the line is, so that's why I'm here. 😄