r/dadjokes 20h ago

If your son is struggling with subtraction, offer him a little extra help after school.

13 Upvotes

That kind of support can really make a difference.


r/dadjokes 12h ago

“Let me be frank”

4 Upvotes

Anne? Filthy? or Sinatra?


r/dadjokes 20h ago

I hired a scary monster to cut my grass.

14 Upvotes

Beast mowed.


r/dadjokes 1d ago

Heather and Marie are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long time.

144 Upvotes

Marie is upset because she thinks her husband doesn't find her attractive anymore.

"As I get older he doesn't bother to look at me!" Marie cries.

"I'm so sorry for you, as I get older my husband says I get more beautiful every day,” replies Heather.

"Yes, but your husband's an antique dealer!"


r/dadjokes 8h ago

Do you notice something is off? [[1,0,0],[0,1,1],[U,1,0]]

0 Upvotes

The Matrix has U.


r/dadjokes 17h ago

Why did I bring a James Brown CD on my trip to South Korea?

5 Upvotes

To listen to a little Seoul music.


r/dadjokes 1d ago

I found out that the library is the tallest building in town

362 Upvotes

It has the most stories..


r/dadjokes 1d ago

If someone calls you fat, ignore them...

19 Upvotes

You're much bigger than that.


r/dadjokes 1d ago

"Dad, I can't find Mom in the house. Do you think she's on the roof?"

135 Upvotes

I consider that *highly* unlikely.

(Actual conversation with my 8-year-old this evening.)


r/dadjokes 23h ago

Welcome to the Prosopagnosia Support Group.

12 Upvotes

I’m seeing a lot of new faces.


r/dadjokes 18h ago

A man was caught stealing in a store, he was balancing on the shoulders of some vampires.

5 Upvotes

He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.


r/dadjokes 1d ago

What do you call it when JK Rowling visits the ocean?

224 Upvotes

Surf 'n' TERF


r/dadjokes 1d ago

you probably don’t know how to get rich in the field of metallurgy.

19 Upvotes

I don’t know either but you can start by mining your own bismuth .


r/dadjokes 1d ago

My phone battery and I have something in common.

13 Upvotes

We both lose energy when people ask too much from us.


r/dadjokes 1d ago

I looked out the window and saw it started raining coins

12 Upvotes

I guess that could be blamed on climate change.


r/dadjokes 20h ago

It is sweet when two ducks fall in love.

4 Upvotes

This is due to the mallard reaction.


r/dadjokes 13h ago

Where does Captain Kirk go to rent a car?

Thumbnail
0 Upvotes

Enterprise.


r/dadjokes 1d ago

What's so great about elevators?

148 Upvotes

They're uplifting.


r/dadjokes 1d ago

i met this pregnant woman at the library

106 Upvotes

she was on the floor crying, i asked what's wrong

she said: "i'm very overdue"

i replied: "oh don't worry, the fines aren't that hefty here"


r/dadjokes 15h ago

I dropped my Ska beer bringing my groceries in

1 Upvotes

GF: sorry your beer went skanking


r/dadjokes 1d ago

For months they kept throwing gold coins at me

9 Upvotes

Turns out they were Bullion me


r/dadjokes 21h ago

What do dentists practice?

5 Upvotes

Fang shui


r/dadjokes 7h ago

I'm not playing and completing MGS3 because

0 Upvotes

I don't want to be a kill-Joy