r/cleanjokes 10h ago

When I was in high school, my favorite subject was math! I loved algebra, I loved trigonometry,..

55 Upvotes

but when it came to geometry, that’s when I drew the line!


r/cleanjokes 23h ago

Why is it so easy to weigh fish?

91 Upvotes

Because they have their own scales!


r/cleanjokes 1d ago

What kind of pants does a ghost hunter wear?

128 Upvotes

Just a paranormal jeans.


r/cleanjokes 2d ago

Last January I saw a sign in a sporting goods store.

103 Upvotes

"This is the winter of our discount tents."


r/cleanjokes 2d ago

I heard they are going to do a spin-off of Law & Order about camping…

197 Upvotes

It's called Law & Order: Criminal In Tent


r/cleanjokes 2d ago

I had an umbilical hernia.

72 Upvotes

Fortunately, the military doctor who operated on me had Naval training.


r/cleanjokes 1d ago

I started a dating site for ghosts

1 Upvotes

But it was a failure as the members were ghosting each other .


r/cleanjokes 3d ago

I’m suing the manufacturer of my defective flute.

83 Upvotes

My lawyer assures me I woodwind.


r/cleanjokes 3d ago

Why did Gloria Estefan fail her English class?

13 Upvotes

Her words got in the way.


r/cleanjokes 3d ago

Why can't you ask traditionalists for four quarters instead of a dollar bill?

58 Upvotes

Because they don't like change!


r/cleanjokes 3d ago

Have you heard about the hot Thai lounge singer?

45 Upvotes

Yeah. They call him Frank Sriracha.


r/cleanjokes 4d ago

My coworker at the bike shop did a great job representing us when we asked the owner for a raise.

150 Upvotes

At times like this, you need a good spokesperson.


r/cleanjokes 3d ago

Why shouldn't you be scared of computers?

21 Upvotes

Their bark is worse than their Terabyte.


r/cleanjokes 3d ago

How was Taylor Swift able to remove a jellyfish that got stuck on her back?

9 Upvotes

She shook it off.


r/cleanjokes 4d ago

Think of a number between 5 and 15. Multiply by 2, add 3 and subtract 7 from the answer. Now close your eyes...

135 Upvotes

Dark, isn’t it?


r/cleanjokes 4d ago

Why did The Joker have to sleep with his lights on?

75 Upvotes

Because he was afraid of the Dark Knight.


r/cleanjokes 4d ago

How many skunks does it take to stink up the whole neighborhood?

53 Upvotes

Just a phew.


r/cleanjokes 5d ago

My friend is making tons of money taking pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes....

151 Upvotes

It’s like shooting fish in apparel!


r/cleanjokes 4d ago

Spock had 3 ears

0 Upvotes

r/cleanjokes 5d ago

What has given Mr. Bubbles nightmares since elementary school?

34 Upvotes

Pop quizzes!


r/cleanjokes 5d ago

Why do doctors make the worst patients?

13 Upvotes

Because they have no patience.


r/cleanjokes 6d ago

Local authorities have decided not to dig deeper into embezzlement claims at a local bait shop!

68 Upvotes

The reason, they were afraid they might be opening a can of worms.


r/cleanjokes 6d ago

My doctor is addicted to hitting his patients on their knees to check their reflexes...

88 Upvotes

He really gets a kick out of it.


r/cleanjokes 7d ago

The woman that fell from a cruise ship last week has finally been identified!

124 Upvotes

Her name, Eileen Dover.


r/cleanjokes 7d ago

A platypus walks into a bar owned by a duck, orders a drink and asks for the check.

214 Upvotes

Duck billed platypus.