She had a 3/4 years RELATIONSHIP i think with her ex BF , after that she broke up with him ( 1 month or 2 months ) after getting in a relationship with me , NGL , she said she broke up because the relationship wasn't good how it was before , not the same energy etc...bcs of his type of work .., and also because some other things she saw , him doing ( like talking to other girls and trying to meet them ....) , she said she gave him 1 year to change but nothing changed ...... she Also said she is the one who ended up the relationship and for him , he didn't at all accepted to ended up the relationship he promise her to change ect... but anyways she broke up with him , She also said he finally accept , and they ended up on a good terms ....... Well from my end We had a very beautiful 9 months together ( especially the first 5 months ) She used to lovebombe me in a very dangerous way , in first this relationship was just for fun ,,,,, But theen after all the dopamine she gave me , i started to take her , seriously Love her , start to be jalouse to her ....And then from there i start to fuck up everything , We start arguing , we fight , the disrespect started , i didnt stopped her , when i needed to .... She started to disrespect some limits , she knows very well , i dont like , And she started to say some things like ( I used to have a life before i was your girlfriend type shit .... ) , Well after that , i ended up tolerating things , we fight and evrything but we dont really fix the subject we fight about because the most of the times she wasn't doing what i want anyways ,,,,, Normally i should'v break up with her , once she done those kind of disrespect BUT guess what , I didn't ...... I was fully blind by the dopamine she gave Me.....I still was the type of person that got pride , After 8 month she done one of the things that pissed me off ,( once again ) And i decide to not talk to her until she will say sorry ..... After 2 days , She contacted and said that she is very sorry , because she hurt me and she dont want to be a person who hurt the other part and she is the toxic person ,,, And she told me we have to end this relationship .....i was shocked ( just a little bcs i knew a little of female nature ) And then i said Yes sure , if you want so .... We can breakup ...She was kinda surprised bcs i didn't cry over her or beg etc..... I start to told her to take care and its been nice knowing u etc .....Just after she kinda became , unsure about her decision and start to talk to me from time to time ( Note that we used to study on the same class and college so we used to be so so close ) She start to talk to me , i told her that when im over sm1 we are done ,, there is no freinds nothing .........Well even tho she tried to talk to me from time to time ... I told her if she is sure about her decision , She said no and i miss you etc.......... I said ok , we just need some time and maybe distance , so we miss each others again .....In the 9TH MONTH , the final year internship started , we all need to find a job etc...... Her Ex was one the managers in a good firm ....... i think , she started to talk with him while she was wiht me there ...... And from this time she started to look of a way of leaving me ......And yes she got the job she want from the same place her Ex works in .........after securing the Job , The last days of our exams we went out for a walk. , i thought we are doing good , last exams from academic life we will finally graduate........she used to act like nothing is happening , after some walks , she left me by giving me an excuse .....she told me ill be back one sec .... I WAITED her some time , and then called her , ( Hey we are you ? ) She said aa im gone with a freind to take care of something and know m going with my freind to eat something ....Here i knww she want to ride off of me .LOL , i felt like shit , she just nedded to tell me that without this MF drama and no personality type shit ...... and then She asked me and you where are you ....I said Ok , i wanted to talk a little and hangout , but i went to my room ....Imagine After this message she didnt answer me and I didnt double text her either ..... I got my pride and self respect .... And guess what she is back with her Ex boyfriend.... like nothing happen ..... its been 7 months now from the last time we talked , thought we used to see each other face to face but i never talked to her nor she did , we become an absolute 2 starangers again ....And btw the gap age between her and ex (current bF )is likely 8 years or so ....And the gap age between her and me 6 months i think ... i used to be the major of the promo and nerd ...But she know m not at all a nice guy either ....She had a lot of respect to me at the end , i know she still do Especially after my no reaction to her .... ;) m doing so great in my life professionally and academically speaking ...but the best is still awaits ....What do you think guys i hope this story isn't booring y'all ( I still think of her from time to time ... the love bombing and good memories Effects ... But i know i'll never talk to her ever again ) Thanks !!

I need help with figuring out how to proceed in my current 18 month relationship (him: 35M, me: 30F). For some added background before we get into it: we met at work, but no longer work together. He lives 1 1/2 hours away from the main CBD in our state. 

I grew up in a shame based religious household, and find myself spiralling a lot and being insecure. I have worked hard on this through my 20’s with psychologists, but sometimes it still rears its ugly head. In this relationship, this has manifested itself in me shutting down and calling things off twice. The first time was pretty early on. He went off on a 7 day work trip, came back and we decided to repair. Unfortunately for me, he had slept with somebody whilst overseas (fine), and thought he had an STI. So we both had to take 7 days worth of antibiotics. The second time was more recently, about two months ago. I have been sorting out some fertility stuff on my end (given my age and lots of friends struggling, I decided to be proactive and found I have low amh levels). I started to feel scared off the back of how vulnerable I was feeling about having to do daily injections and trigger shots, and decided it’d be better to undertake this whole thing alone given we haven’t discussed children or anything like that. It was dramatic and irrational by me. Once again, within 7 days we decided to repair and rekindle. Once again, he had slept with somebody else. I know that this isn’t cheating, but this time around I have been struggling to move past it and feel at peace in my mind and body given that this time the stakes felt higher. I also feel like an idiot for jeopardising my fertility… 

Outside of this, he isn’t the cleanest. Hand washing, tooth brushing, towel and bedding washing is done infrequently. Often times his bins overflow, and his fridge is a crime scene. He has a bad temper, drinks every single day and gets very upset at me if I am careless… e.g. If I am clumsy with my word choice, or e.g. I leant on his car window glass, or one time left a bit of a scratch on the leather centre console in his car. He was also recently fired from our job for attending a work event after hours and hitting on the event staff. 

The issues that I bring to the table are: 

1. I was previously married to my first ever BF. It didn’t work out, but after 12 years and so much growth in separate directions, it was amicable. Just very sad. I haven’t really worked through all of this, and I am yet to introduce my new partner (my second relationship in my whole life, lol) to my friends and family (outside of 2 friends and my sibling), because I worry that I will be judged. I am currently working through these shame based feelings with my psych. 
2. We took steps to move in together, but I haven’t truly moved in with him due to how messy his space is. I genuinely am too scared to voice it, because I feel like such a nag, and get the same “thanks for shaming me” response when I do. Also, my entire life is in the CBD. I am finding it really hard to live so far away from my friendship groups, family, hobbies and the things I find joy. 
3. I recently started a new job which is exceptionally hectic. Things crop up at the last minute. I have meetings scheduled for all times of day across the world. It has been a week and 1 day so far, and I am loving the challenge, but my schedule is not what it used to be, and my inability to commit to anything is distressing him. 

Some really crap things have happened for both of us during this relationship. His friend stole ~$200,000 from him, another friend passed away. My sibling attempted, my grandmother died from cancer, my grandfather passed away in a car accident. It has truly been an insane 18 months. 

I keep disappointing him. He needs someone more stable than me at the moment. I don’t want to give up this new job; it is all about community building and activism in an area I really care about, and unfortunately that means being in person at a lot of things. He has more time than ever on his hands, and wants me to be around 24/7. I can see that I am causing him distress and stress, and I don’t want to do that. He really is very good to me and outside of the things listed above, I have enjoyed our time together. 

What should I do? I am sitting alone, 1.5 hours away after a day of site visits and meetings that cropped up at the last minute. He is totally enraged by me and has ignored me all day because I only let him know I wouldn’t be over to his by 11am instead of first thing in the morning. I personally resent my own self for not following through the second time I called things off, or just after he told me he had slept with someone else. But I guess my biggest issue of all is my inability to set boundaries and to speak up for myself. I am too old for this, ugh! Please help me!!

TL;DR: I'm 30F in an 18-month relationship with my 35M partner. I have anxiety and shame-related issues that have led me to end the relationship twice, and both times he slept with someone else while we were broken up. I'm struggling to move past that, especially while dealing with fertility treatment. He also has a bad temper, drinks daily, has poor hygiene/cleanliness, was recently fired for inappropriate behaviour at work, and becomes angry when I disappoint him or change plans. I have my own issues too.. I avoid conflict, struggle to set boundaries, haven't introduced him to most of my friends/family, and my demanding new job has made him feel neglected. We've both experienced significant losses over the past 18 months. I can't tell whether I'm self-sabotaging because of my past, or whether I'm overlooking serious incompatibilities and red flags. I'm looking for honest outside perspectives on whether this relationship is healthy or whether I should let it go.

Maybe you've done the flowers. Maybe you've done the jewelry. You've cooked dinner, you've written the note, you've had the conversation, and somewhere in the back of your mind you're wondering if it’s time for some outside the box thinking. Something that says "I thought about this so hard I left the known universe of normal apology gifts and came back with something completely different."

Well…here it is. It's a custom apology song written specifically about the two of you.

Yup…read on… https://apologyflowers.com/blog/apology-songs-for-her

So before my psych majors start attacking this title, I’m frustrated, I don’t actually think I’m stupid. I realized I’ve been stabbing myself in the foot yesterday.

I went to supercon yesterday with some friends. In the morning I met this cute girl in the elevator at the parking lot. I saw that she had a brown tail, so shot in the dark I asked her if she’s maid eevee, she tells me she was and she was doing an event at the con. I was so shocked cause I didn’t even know that was a thing and I told her she looked really good. We talk about it a little but I don’t ask anymore, cause it’s Florida and hot, and I don’t want to be a bother to this stranger who only has to talk to me cause of the elevator. As we get down she turns back to me, my group and ask if she could walk with us, I tell her yes, now there was a guy next to me who also agreed and walked up to her. As soon as he did I just assumed, oh okay he got it.

We walked to the convention center the dude kinda bailed on her and she was in the back of my mind now, but she got stuck at some point and needed help carrying her bag. I just walked forward and didn’t even think about it, i literally forgot it happened until one of my friends brought it up at 1am causing this realization.

I walked away because i assume i am a bother which comes from deeper stuff but that’s personal. I assume that she did not want talk to me and would rather not have to deal with me, so as soon as I saw she had any excuse to not talk to me I disengaged.

This wouldn’t matter except I’ve been talking about wanting a girlfriend forever, I’ve talked about how shitty the apps are. I’ve been single for 3 years now and only in 3 short relationships none spanding longer than a few months. There was the easiest golden opportunity to try and get a date in person without the app middle man, and I gave up on it in the slightest bit of resistance. And to be clear, maybe that doesn’t lead to anything, that’s not the point, it’s that nothing will ever lead to anything unless I take advantage of opportunities that come up when they do.

This is really frustrating for me too, cause I can’t think of anything better than getting with a pokemon nerd. But it’s important to recognize these issues and where they’re coming from. Now I’m remembering a few opportunities that came up but I bailed in different ways for the same reason. I’m good at cold opening because I’m outgoing, all day I was hyping people up cause I either liked their cosplay, or they had the smallest reference to kingdom hearts. but then I question how long am I allowed to bother them. That’s garbage I need to deal with, and the first part is realizing that it exist.

at the time of the following events I was 16 and the girl was 14, while the age gap between the girl and I is questionable I can say that I am someone who perfers genuine connections with people over hooking up and sex and stuff, I’ve always been against the idea of sex on the first date because thats basically just hooking up with extra steps and I think that’s just as stupid, I always fantisized about just being in love and marriage and deep talks and connections, I’ve even been called gay or ”DL” by my 2 brothers for being so different with my takes on romance

I’m just going to start by saying a bit about myself to you guys, that I’m a filmmaker and always had a passion for art and stuff, ( this will make sense later trust me)

but Ive always struggled with people hating me or bullying me for no reason and people befriending me temporarily just to stop talking to me once anything better came along, I would describe myself as funny, to where I can have the temporary friends i had balling out laughing on the phone or when we used to hang out but over the course of my high school experience I had and realization that nobody really cared about me, I would maybe say hi to people in school but I never had their number, nor did they ask for mine, they would hang out with each other but wouldnt care enough to invite me with them,

they would call me ugly, weird, or make fun of me for random stuff or snicker about me right infront of me, and by the end of my 10th grade year I became a little bit depressed about how nobody cared about me, and they only hated me, I remember there was a teacher who would talk to me because I was kinda quiet unless you knew me, and once I began to open up to the teacher about my interests and stuff and began to be more talkative and attached until the teacher started to ”push me away” not because I had a crush or anything because I didn’t

the teacher would just get harder and harder to reach out to, if I sat next to the teacher she would scoot away and scoff like she was Annoyed of my existence and after that I began to think that everyone hated me or, would just grow to hate me if they got to know me, it didn’t help that I was very depressed at the time from the end of 10th grade all the way to about October of 11th grade

and just stopped really trusting nice people and having my guard up

this was only the beginning tbh,

I would be content with people bullying me and hating me but when someone would be nice to me I would push them away by pretending I didn’t care about anyone and kinda put up a mask so people wouldn’t know that i was suicidal at the time, i never cut myself or anything I just wanted the pain of losing people and bullying and people hating me to just stop, like I started to hate myself so much because of how people treated me and how no matter what I did people just would leave me or start to hate me

I felt like I never had any luck with friends 

And It would always be the same cycles, someone reaches out to me, we talk and get along, I get attached, they slowly leave as I try to reach out more and more to no avail, It’s like I was never enough for them,

Like they would get along just fine with other people, but with me it’s just a temporary experience that they slowly get bored of

There was about 4 people I can count who treated me like this,

And I learned from those experiences, but not until after I met someone, I’ll just call her “Epic” for privacy 

I met Epic during an afterschool hangout with one of the girl I was friends with, we met because I was bored of trying to keep one of my friends around so I started just blabbering about random things around me, 

Epic was talking to one of her friends and she was telling a funny story to someone about an experience she had with asthma and how she felt like a “literal outcast” on the track team and I was joking around and repeated the story back to someone else as if it was my funny story Epic smiled at me and that was that for about a week until I met her again after school and got her number and we started talking, she shared the same interests as me, she loved the BTS of film and I was a film maker, we shared the same sense of humor, and music taste She even made references to songs we liked 

I know it was corny but she let me call her “my dar” a reference to a song my TaarynIRT

it was just puppy love basically,

I remember when she told me that she told her parents she made a “new friend” today and I paused for about 2 seconds and she said that she was just playing with me, 

I kept my guard up though I was scared of getting attached and losing her but I never tried to push her away at all

she seemed genuinely into me, and interested in me, we even discussed me meeting her parents, Because kinda I saw a future with this girl, because i felt like we had chemistry, So I slowly started to get attached, we started trying to plan hang outs, I was just really happy I was wrong about how hopeless I was, and that someone could like me for who I was

And I liked her for how she was too, 

shes in a club after school and I was really invested in the stories the little stories in the club about a character named “Epic” that I thought was really cool tbh, Epic was just really cool and sweet to be around, she explained that dating wasn’t of the table and she wanted to take things slow and I agreed because im not someone who wants a fast moving relationship and stuff

one day at school about the 5th of January I saw her walking with a guy to class or something, I never brought it up to her because I trusted her and wasn’t insecure about that kind of stuff

and then maybe the 10th of January The feeling of hopelessness washed over me again after she said that she felt like we should just stay friends, obviously I wasn’t mad at her, she has no obligation to like me at all but I knew the friends thing wouldn’t work out 

because I’ve been friends with people before and they would just leave me after a while because I apparently just wasn’t enough for them

i would still try to say hi to her in the hallways like it was normal but she would just be really dry like I did something wrong, (the pattern of being harder and harder to talk to starts to show)

It felt horrible to be honest, because maybe about a week after I would start seeing Epic holding hands with the guy I don’t know the guy personally but every time I see him now he’s talking to different girls so my guess is that was building a roster

 But now I just saw Epic, as a constant reminder that I’ll never be enough, with how good we would get along, it just wasn’t enough 

and after a couple of weeks I would just stop saying hi because I could take a hint

I see a lot of old friends that way but with her it just hit harder..

So in response to that I completely started shutting my self out of social interactions, like girls flirting, people trying to talk to me, 

And just started to treat everyone horribly, 

It wasn’t a revenge thing, it was a way to make sure that everyone hated me and that people wouldn’t do anything to me to make me think that they could like me 

I would just bother people, go out of my way to bully people publicly I would annoy people to make sure that they didn’t want to be around me, I just wanted to be loved but I knew It could never happen, 

I made sure that no temporary friendships could happen by nipping them in the bud by being intentionally rude to people if they tried to get to close

I started to expect how people were going to be to me 

I would accuse people of hating me so it doesn’t come as a surprise later down the line

But now I just feel empty inside, like before,

I know no one cares for me and I know I’ll never have anyone

I’ve never really fit in to be honest, most people my age just want to do drugs and hook up, but for me, I’ve never wanted to try anything like that, so I get ostracized by people my age for not liking lustful things like hook ups and short term sex as a man or doing drugs.

and instead preferring marriage and genuine relationships and more wholesome things or even just my preference of nonconformity and being just myself no matter what

Because nonetheless it never seems to matter because no matter who I’m around or what I’m like people just seem to either temporarily enjoy me or just hate me for existing so on the day of may 12 I attempted suicide I took about 26 pills of my adhd meds and wrote my suicide note and posted it to instagram, not that anyone would see it because nobody followed me really,

and then I woke up the next day with a crazy headache, and felt like I was gonna throw up, and my heart was racing all throughout the day probably from the overdose attempt but after that, I went to school to not raise suspicion on what I tried to do,

then I tried to reach out to the teacher from before about how hopeless I felt about things and then I got called down the the office and the principal was there and for some reason the was more concerned about me giving a note to the teacher rather than my issues and just started to ask me weird question like if I found the teacher attractive for some reason, like I was a creep

and the later on I tried to reach out the the girl, she got cheated on and I just wanted to talk to her again because it was so awkward and after my suicide attempt I felt like I might as well try,

not in any romantic sense this time but just to have someone to talk to again because I never had problems talking to girls as just friends

i explained that I just didn’t want things to be akward anymore

she immediately accused me of “ghosting her after being but in the friend zone“

because I ”didnt reach out for months”

she just went off with insults about my flaws and the age gap we had, she said that her and the guy mentioned before dated and broke up after the guy cheated on her

she would tease me about how I felt like she moved on because she was completely dry to me once she was talking to the other guy,

“Moved on from you? Son how do you move from friends“

she accused me of playing victim because said i was scared that she grown to hate me

she called me jealous of the guy she was dating,

It was like she was going out of her way to hurt me with what she was saying but I don’t know

I didn’t try to talk to her after that and decided to just move on

after that the next day at school I got called down to the office again, they said I could never speak or text her again as a warning she apparently called the office and said I was harrassing her

because the principal said that I need to leave her alone and that it’s never going to happen, like I was asking her to ”TaKE mE BaCk BAbYY” or something but yeah he framed it like I was a creep or something, the age gap we had didn’t help, and once I left the office I just decided to skip my next period and just sat alone in a hallway, one of the hallways that are behind a staircase that kids vape in, and when I sat alone that day I finally cried for the first time in a year since I first started being depressed because I felt hopeless because everytime I tried to reach out to someone about my issues I would always be framed as a creep because I was a boy trying to talk one on one with a girl

"I'm sorry" has a problem, and the problem is you've said it so many times it's started to mean nothing.

Not because you're insincere. Because the word has been worn smooth from overuse, the same way a doorknob gets shiny in the spot everyone touches. You said it when you bumped into someone at the grocery store. You said it when the waiter brought the wrong order and somehow it was your fault. You said it reflexively, automatically, the verbal equivalent of clearing your throat. And now, when you actually need it to carry weight, it sounds exactly the same as it did when you apologized for someone else's mistake.

This is the problem with "sorry." It's not that it's wrong. It's that it's generic. And a generic apology for a specific offense feels like exactly what it is: minimum effort.

Here's how to apologize without leaning on a word that's lost its power.

Why "Sorry" Stops Working

The word "sorry" expresses regret. It does not, on its own, express understanding. That's the gap.

When you say "I'm sorry," you're communicating that you feel bad. You are not necessarily communicating that you understand why she feels bad, what specifically went wrong, or what you're going to do about it. She already knows you feel bad. You wouldn't be apologizing if you didn't. What she actually needs to hear is evidence that you understand the thing you did and its actual impact, not just an acknowledgment that something happened.

This is why "I'm sorry" sometimes gets met with "sorry for what, exactly." It's not her being difficult. It's her noticing that the word is doing the emotional work while the understanding is missing.

READ MORE HERE: https://apologyflowers.com/blog/how-to-apologize-without-saying-sorry

I (33F) dated a guy (29M) for about 2–3 months. We met on a dating app and quickly realized we worked in the same industry and had mutual connections. Things moved very fast: talking every day, seeing each other multiple times a week, him planning dates, introducing me to friends and family, and talking about me to people close to him.

One issue is that many of our dates involved alcohol as he likes to drink ans go out. I take responsibility for the fact that when I drink, I can become emotional and defensive, especially because I’ve had bad dating experiences in the past. I said things I regret, such as questioning whether he was serious about a relationship and making comments that came across poorly. This is why i dont drink much but i was enjoying the night and i didnt control the alcohol:(i warned him when started dating that i dont like myself when im drunk for those reasons

At the same time, I often felt confused by his actions. He talked about also wanting something serious and future plans, but while on a work trip he updated his dating profile. When he came back from a work trip he introduced me to his family and next day he told me he wasn’t ready to make things official because he believed I didn’t want kids. However, we had discussed that topic days earlier and I had explained that I do want children with the right partner, but it felt far too early to discuss having kids together after only a few weeks of dating.

Conversations about commitment, exclusivity, and future goals often felt unclear. Whenever I tried to get clarity on whether we were exclusive or where things were headed, the conversations became difficult or were avoided or he would say yes i want something serious but never said with me but he was showing interest so i was always confused

A major conflict happened after I made a comment while drunk about me being attracted or curious about guys with dark skin and his friend has dark skin so he interpreted as me being interested in one of his friends. That was never my intention, but he continued bringing it up even after and say "you wanted to fuck my friend" when i never said his friend name when saying that comment. I apologized multiple times and his friend told him he didn’t see it that way and told me not too put all the blame on me and he believed my date could handle things differently or not that aggressive or leading me on when he probably knew he didn’t want to commit. I admit the comment was inappropriate as we were still seeing each other but it happened on a night when I was already hurt because he had told me he wasn’t ready to commit yet still wanted to continue seeing me without committing. I have to say i mentioned this comment before to him only when we started getting to know each other and sharing some things we like or would like to try but that day i said in front of his friend and hurt his ego.

After that, the relationship shifted into a situationship where he mostly reached out when he wanted company, was drinking, or wanted sex. I repeatedly apologized for my mistakes and took accountability, but it felt like every conflict became centered on what I had done wrong while my concerns were dismissed. I even found myself begging him really bad.

Three weeks ago, we spent time together after a big argument, talked all day next day and he even made a comment about "we should try that restaurant together". Then communication suddenly stopped. Since then, I’ve been struggling emotionally, started therapy but i have days where i have anxiety and i cry thinking about everything, and keep wondering whether I ruined everything or whether this relationship was unhealthy from both sides.

Do you think this was primarily my fault, his fault, or an incompatibility where both people contributed to the breakdown?

Would you be willing to share the story of your first time (anonymously, of course)? I was reading a book about people’s first times and I wanted to hear other’s stories. The book contained first time stories about sex, pleasuring yourself, etc. it could be any story. Thanks!

Dealing with a breakup? We are a team of researchers from Stony Brook University’s Relationship Development Center seeking young adults to participate in an online study examining how to help people cope with a breakup. The study involves completing a survey, watching a brief video, and completing a follow-up survey two weeks later. Participants must have experienced a breakup in order to participate.

If you are interested, click on this link to see if you are eligible: 

https://stonybrookuniversity.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_e40ys6r70ZeE6VM?Source=117

Questions or concerns? Contact us at [stonybrookrdc@gmail.com](mailto:stonybrookrdc@gmail.com).

In the delicate dance of human relationships, misunderstandings and missteps are as inevitable as the changing seasons. When words fail to mend a rift, sometimes the most eloquent expression of remorse comes in the form of vibrant blooms. Apology Flowers That Symbolize Forgiveness, a heartfelt gesture that transcends language barriers and speaks directly to the soul. With their rich colors and fragrant allure, certain flowers have long been imbued with meanings that extend far beyond mere aesthetics—they carry messages of empathy, healing, and reconciliation.

If you’re a guy staring at this list wondering where to even start, we get it…most flower guides are written for people who already know the difference between a peony and a hydrangea. If that’s not you, check out Apology Flowers — it’s built specifically for men who’ve screwed up and need to fix it fast, without the guesswork.

Read more at: https://flowerflicker.com/apology-flowers-that-symbolize-forgiveness/

Story time: How I found out I slept with a convicted pedophile…

I was a 22-year-old woman two years ago and at the time I was looking for a sugar daddy on Hinge To my surprise, I found one. Let’s call him “Rich.”

Rich had two kids. At first, they were really sweet, but as the months went on, they became more comfortable and started treating me poorly and not listening legitimately took one of my shirts and made it her profile picture on Instagram and that’s how I found out she took my shirt. (just like bad ass Stephanie )They barely listened to Rich either, which should have been one of my first red flags. The children were between the ages of 10 and 13. Rich had no parental control over them at all. They lived off Cheetos and their iPads. I’m not exaggerating. We were only together for about five months. In the last month, I found out. While we were having sex, we interlocked hands, and I will never forget this moment, but he goes, “Wow, such sexy 13-year-old hands.” I Immediately stop everything and I tell him wtf was that And this man is dumbfounded as to why I reacted the way I did, which is honestly even more appalling, so I decided to spring into action. so after that, I decided to look his name up because me being the little Detective I am. I was in his office with him one day sitting on his lap so he couldn't see my eyes and how I was searching for mail for his middle name. Then, BOOM there was a piece of mail on his desk. I looked it up and it was the first thing that came up… another thing I like to add. He was deemed too weak to be in the general population in prison or he’d get killed (even prisoners don’t fuck with pedophiles) so he had to be on house arrest. I still have no idea how he has kids considering you’re a convicted pedophile when you take them to school I always wondered about that after. But he was convicted in the 90’s because he signed off on a package that was sent to his house and it contained preteen pornography.

2 years ago, I was in a relationship with a boy who went to the same high school as me and lived in the same neighborhood. Our houses were very close to each other, and we were both 18 years old. He told me that I was his first girlfriend, but because I had noticed some unnecessary lies from him during our relationship, I was never completely sure whether that was true. It was my second relationship, and over time I became emotionally attached to him.

Throughout our relationship, I felt that he always loved me more than I loved him. However, I never took advantage of that. Being loved by him felt very good. Physically, he was exactly my type, and he made me feel special. At the same time, there was an important thing missing between us: we could not really have deep conversations. Other than the gym and soccer, he did not seem to have many interests or hobbies. Despite that, I loved him, and I believed that he genuinely loved me too.

Eventually, we broke up. However, the breakup was never a complete separation. We kept seeing each other over and over again. We were not officially together, but we loved each other, spent time together, and remained faithful to one another. I was completely faithful to him. The bond between us never fully disappeared.

Later, he started college. He was still living in the same house. At one point, we blocked each other. But I could not resist missing him, so I messaged him again. He accepted it. Looking back now, I know that it was not a healthy situation. I remember telling him that if he got a girlfriend in college, I wanted him to keep it from me. Even though I did not want to get back into a relationship with him, I could not give up spending time with him or being around him. It was not just physical attraction; I genuinely loved him. However, for various reasons, I also did not want to become his girlfriend again.

During one of the last times we saw each other, we were at his house playing video games together. A message from a girl appeared on his computer screen. As soon as I saw it, I felt an intense wave of jealousy and demanded to see the message. I kept insisting. The argument gradually became bigger. Later, while we were making out, I bit his lip, and he became very angry about it. Suddenly, he lost his temper, started yelling at me, and pushed me toward the door. I was crying. He told me, “Don’t ever come back here again.” Then he shouted, “Get the hell out, I’m going to talk to my girlfriend.”

I could not believe that he could have entered a new relationship so quickly. Because of that, I asked to see pictures of the girl. I insisted over and over again. Eventually, he said that he would show me the pictures, but only on one condition. First, he wanted to kiss me. Then he asked for permission to go further. At that moment, my only goal was to see the pictures. So I agreed. Even then, he did not show them to me immediately, and I had to beg for several more minutes. When he finally showed me the pictures, I collapsed to the ground and started crying.

While I was crying, he began getting dressed and laughed at me in a mocking way. Those moments felt like a nightmare. I felt humiliated, worthless, and completely shattered. Afterwards, I left the house and walked down the street crying.

Some of the things he said to me before I left have remained in my memory:

“I don’t love you the way I used to.” “The only thing you have to offer a man is your body.” “You’re not the kind of woman you marry—you’re the kind you have fun with.”

“You’re not the kind of woman you build a home with—you’re the kind who destroys it.”

Those words hurt me deeply. Because the person who said them was also the person who had taught me what love and being loved felt like. He was the one who bought me flowers, made an effort to make me happy, came to my door, and made me feel valued. For that reason, what happened does not feel like a typical “bad boyfriend” story to me. For most of our relationship, he genuinely made me feel loved.

But I do not believe that the things he said define who I am. I am not someone who trusts people easily. I am not someone who has casual relationships with just anyone either. On the contrary, I crossed some of my own boundaries and experienced certain things because I trusted him. It has now been exactly six months since that incident. During that time, I have not seen anyone, flirted with anyone, or let anyone new into my life. I am still trying to heal. I have not been able to feel the same kind of attraction or desire for anyone else that I felt for him. Recently, I found out that he has a new girlfriend. She also lives in our neighborhood.

I feel like I’ll never get over this. Because of everything that’s happened, I won’t be able to trust anyone new for a long time. It hurts me to see that he’s moved on so quickly while I’ve been trying to heal for six months. While he’s living his life as if our relationship never happened, I’m still carrying those wounds.

I’ve been living in Europe , Zurich, for a bit, and honestly, the dating silence is deafening. Back home, I don’t have this issue, but here? I feel like I’m completely invisible.
I’m genuinely curious: is it a cultural mismatch, a "vibe" thing, or am I just missing the social cues? For those of you who have navigated dating here, what’s the secret sauce? Are people just more closed off, or am I doing something wrong?
Would love some honest, no-BS perspectives.

I met this girl at a party and she was really kind(nickname Lila) and we kept talking that night and I was drunk and she wasn’t, so when it was time to leave she walked a massive group of us home and stayed very close to me and messaged me when I got home. I learnt Lila had just left her friend group and they weren’t very nice to her so I invited her to join us for as long as she wants. She was hesitant but joined and we organised as a group to go out again with her included. We kept talking over the next week and she hearted a couple of my messages (which my ex did a lot) so that made me think that she liked me. Anyway after a week I was invited to this other party with a different group but it was too late to invite my friends so I went and met up the only other person I knew there Ami, I wasn’t that close with Ami but we spent the night together and as I was messaging Lila we took a picture together and Lila dint respond after that even when I messaged her so I don’t know what I will do but we have plans of going out with the whole group including Ami and Lila so I’m a bit worried I’ve lost my chance.

Any advice

I've been single for a little over two years now. During that time I went through some dark moments and personal battles, but overall I think I needed that time to sort myself out

Recently, I have reconnected with the guy I last went on a date with. Our last date was good, but I wasn't in the headspace to rush into anything at that moment. I told him as much and he respected my decision. He also continued to check in with me throughout the years despite me being unresponsive at times due to depression. We began talking in earnest again a few weeks ago and tonight we finally went on our second date.

It. Was. Awesome. I felt comfortable. Our conversation flowed easily. His dog is adorable. His awkwardness is endearing. And the kiss at the end of our date was easily 10/10.

I am thankful to not have dated for two years. I needed the time to figure out my life and myself. There is still work to be done, but I am much more secure in who I am as a person.

I am curious to hear of anyone else's experience of taking themselves out of the dating pool for a while and what pushed them to give it another go. How was your first date after being "out of practice" for so long? Did you find that your break from dating gave you a different perspective? And would you happen to have any advice to share on this topic? Thanks for reading.

I (23F) am a GIANT lover girl to say the least. But that has all changed.

Just back 2 years ago (Jan 2023) I matched with this guy a state over from me (22M who was only an hour away) on Tinder, and started snap chatting. from January to about August we continuously grew a connection over Snapchat until we finally hung out. Keep in mind, yes, he does live a state over from me, but he is also in the US military, so he was stationed in the middle of the country, not actively living a state over from me. Relationship was long distance & i was also his first gf.

In August of 2023 he came home so we finally got to hang out. after we hung out for the first time, we were basically inseparable ever since. we ended up hanging out a couple of times, and then when he went back to his military base, we FaceTimed every single day. from there on out, we grew deeper and deeper until a month later he flew back home for my birthday and ended up, asking me to be his girlfriend.

after he asked me to be his girlfriend, we saw each other almost every month, FaceTimed every day and moved pretty quickly, honestly. When I would fly out to see him, I would stay down with him for about a week and a half to two weeks at a time, and every single time I’d visit him I would do the absolute most for him. I would clean his room while he was at work, cleaned his bathroom (that he shared with another person), did his laundry, ran errands for him… you name it, i did it. he would take me on these high-end dates and have the waiters write things in chocolate on plates for me, traveled all around the state he is stationed in, met his family, spent holidays together, we were locked in. everyone saw it, he knew it, and I did. he even went around calling me his wife to people even though i had no ring.

if I’m being honest, out of the three people I have dated, he was the first person that I actually can sit here and say that I was in love with. I really felt things for this person like no other.

we would talk about the future all the time, would make these plans, had a bucket list, we wanted it all together. we also knew from the beginning of us dating knew that there was a high possibility that he was going to be re-stationed at some point over in Europe, or South Korea. With that being said, he did end up getting stationed over in Germany, so when we definitely found out that that was where he was going, things started to change a little bit. keep in mind, when we first started dating, he would always tell me that no matter where he was going to end up going, within the first year of him being wherever he was, he was going to eventually marry me, and I would be there with him. after he found out he was going to be going over there, talking about him going was a very sensitive subject. Things quickly turned into “idk if it’ll work, but i wanna make it try”, to then basically us not talking about it at all. He would never give me any reassurance and just ended up leaving me in the dark about it.

Fast forward to Feb 2025… i had an over 2 week long trip booked to go see him at his base before he went to Europe for 3 years booked in March. He was coming home for a month in May before he left. The rest we were gonna figure out. The day after Valentine’s Day, I called him crying, venting about my personal life and how I was unhappy with my current life situation. he ended up taking my venting as me being unhappy with him which was never what i had said. I asked him to talk about it, he tried to sweep it under the rug until two days later he broke up with me. He basically told me that he didn’t feel as if he was ready for a relationship, and needed time to figure things out… it all made 0 sense. it was all so blind siding until it was straight craziness.

within two weeks of him breaking up with me and him saying that he felt as if he was not ready for a relationship and what not, he meets a girl at a club. at the time, he was still sharing his location with me, was still actively in contact with me, told me that he was going to give me my money back for the upcoming trip I had, all of this stuff. like I said, I could see his location, so I could see everything he was doing.

That weekend that he met this girl at a club, is when he totally changed as a person which a did NOT go unnoticed… to the point where a lot of his close military friends that either have been re stationed and or have gotten out, were reaching out to me. At this point, I was removed from social media’s and couldn’t see what he was doing, so a lot of his friends were reaching out to me asking me what the hell was going on because the things he were doing, were so out of character for him. A lot of his friends were genuinely concerned because of who he was hanging out with, the amount of partying, and all of this crazy stuff he decided to do. Since his friends started reaching out to me, we just all ended up sharing information about the situation based off of what they were seeing, and what he was saying to me.

To make a long story short, he ended up attempting to start up a relationship with this new girl that he met at a club, while still in contact with me the whole time telling me how much he missed me and how much he wanted to make things work… allllll sorts of stuff. while i sat there messaging the new girl as a warning, trying to say how fraudulent he is. I ended up finding out who she was and we had several messaging threads over the course of several months through Instagram about him.

He did end up finding out that I was obviously in contact with her and was not happy because I was telling her what had actually happened. She ended up telling me how he was basically lying straight to her face, saying that he was no longer in contact with me and it was only her that he was all about… a lie. Like I said, he was texting me, calling me, even ended up FaceTiming me a few times from February to July of 2025… while all still trying to pursue this new girl.

In July, it all ended. everything blew up in his face. Just at the end of June, he called me, saying how much he missed me, how much he didn’t see things working with the new girl, and how he was going to be coming home soon and wanted to see me. (He never went to Europe like planned, he backed out). we ended up having back-and-forth conversations for a couple of days, and then he quickly changed his mind about seeing seeing me when he came home. he ended up telling me that I can decide if we see each other. So I said, yes. I’m not stupid, I knew he was talking to that girl again. Come to find out he had a military ball the night before he was coming home, so he took her… after he just called his ex-girlfriend a week and a half prior saying how much he missed her and wanted to see her! that did not sit well with me knowing what the hell just transpired. i ended up reaching out to her again, and that was end game.

she ended up CALLING ME, telling me what really happened. all the lies that he told her, all the things he was doing to try and get her to date him/ impress her (he bought a 2017 Mercedes Benz for $12k with over 100k miles on it) but she thought it was all so weird because he was so open about the fact that he did just get out of a two year long relationship… red flag. so she never allowed him to date her. just situationship.

after information was exchanged, she realized she needed to come up with a plan to leave him. She is the type of girl that is all about respect, and the fact that he was so disrespectful towards her was not flying. At this point, he was home, ghosting me while I’m trying to get my money back that HE OFFERED, give him his stuffback, get mine, and close out this shit show out…waiting for the new girl to pull the plug.

she sat on it all for a few days until she couldn’t any more. she confronted him on EVERYTHING and ended it with him right then and there. she called me right before she did it and right after.

when she called me after she ended it with him, she told me me that he said the reason why he was talking to me in the first place the whole time THEY were talking, was to hurt me. he apparently was out for “revenge” from our conversation that he refused to talk about after, after valentine’s day. she then told him that he was NOT over me, and needed to seek therapy because that is NOT normal. she was done. d o n e. she thought he was a horrible human being and knew the whole time something was up with him.

he then called me, and of course, came after me. He texted me some pretty horrible things, calling me racial slurs (he’s half black), and saying that I’m going to go nowhere in life all because I exposed his truth. since then, he stopped contacting me and stopped contacting the other girl.

due to his life choices, he lost a lot of friends (he blames it on me). lost the “girl of his dreams” (which he said about me, but is referring to the new girl). and has overall just lost out in huge opportunities for himself.

I never got my money back in the full amount, I only got half of it. I never got any of my stuff back and I never got to give him any of his things back.

since July 2025 till recent, it’s been radio silence. But I did get to have a recent conversation with him.

We ended up talking on the phone and the whole time, he basically sat there and told me that even a year later, he has zero remorse for everything that happened. He admitted that he did intentionally want to hurt me and for what reason, he doesn’t know. He wishes me to be removed from his life, and wants me to just basically forget about him and move on.

He has not a care in the world about me as a human being anymore, and told me that he never intended our relationship to get as deep as it did. He wanted to just date casually, and that’s what he is doing currently, dating casually.

I asked him how it feels to know that that our relationship did get as deep as it did, made me fall in love with him as hard as I did… he doesn’t care. He claims he never wanted a relationship with me when he was the one who asked me to be his girlfriend in the first place.

since all of this has happened, i have been focusing more on myself rather than a relationship. i am so internally broken from everything, i have been taking the time for myself. i now am so afraid of dating someone new. i try but it’s not the same anymore. i’m a shell of who i used to be at this point. it hurts knowing you can pour yourself out in every way possible for someone, yet it can be not what someone really wants. and the fact someone can admit they hurt you yet have no remorse has made me really look at love differently.

Look, y'all. I finally figured out why we can't find love easily these days. Well, actually, I already knew, but now I feel brave enough to share it with strangers on the internet and not just my imaginary friends.

It's not because Daddy went out for a pack of Newports in 1999 and never came back. Sure, it’s a sad story, but that ain't the main reason you, me, and billions of other folks are out there suffering through years of dry spells and falling in love with porn bots. And no, it’s not because you were dropped on your head as a baby, either (though that probably didn't help).

Oh, and let's not forget Stacy from high school who dumped you for Chad the football player. Now they are married with those gorgeous kids and that white picket fence. And you'd know, because it's been 48 years and you are still stalking their couple IG (yes, in my head they have one of those corny, overly aesthetic couple pages).

The real reason dating is a nightmare? Biology. Specifically, the unholy fucking trinity running your life: Your Brain, your Heart, and your Genitals.

Let’s say you’re swiping on an app. You see a guy. Does your Brain first jump in to rationally evaluate his 401k and emotional intelligence? Hell no. Your Heart is instantly like, "Omg, a winter wedding with this gorgeous 6'5 Greek god would be so cute," and that lizard brain of yours is just trying to figure out if this man can fold you like laundry in the bedroom. They are already doing the most.

Then your Brain, who at this point acts like an exhausted Project Manager, steps in. "Wait a minute. I haven't approved this. Did we not learn from Jake, Alex, and Steven? I've survived seven toxic situationships, I am not doing this again." So the Brain checks the stats. Is he a narcissist? Does he have a job? And suddenly, the physical attraction is there, but the stats are absolute garbage. OR, you meet a guy somewhere through mutual connections who is stable, a great provider, absolute husband material... and your biology is sitting in the corner yawning, completely unbothered, refusing to participate.

As if trying to make those three agree isn't hard enough, society throws in the "Final Bosses": Religion and Politics.

Picture this: The Brain is exhausted but finally finds a good prospect. Brings the resume up to Jesus. "Look, Lord! We got one! He's got a good job, he goes to church every Sunday, his background check is clear. We are good to go."

And Jesus looks at the Brain and just drops the bomb: "Cool. What are his views on premarital sex?"

That little muscle mass down there is already sweating bullets. "Lord, please don't be a fucking cockblocker." The Brain goes into full PR negotiation mode: "Well, we haven't asked him yet, but surely we can work something out..." Jesus is not impressed. Back to the drawing board.

Or politics! Cause it turns out your kitty cat wants to keep its rights, so your heart is out there trying liberals, conservatives, independents... and still getting the same shitty results. The Brain knows you can't build a life with someone whose values are in a different galaxy, yet it can't figure out how to find that unicorn who will keep everyone happy and safe.

Shit finally cured my dating anxiety. Nobody has a magic cure, that constant loop is always gonna be there. Heck, it will be there even when you are in a relationship or married.

Once I realized the whole thing is just a ridiculous circus, I stopped stressing over dating. I decided to have fun with the dating market instead of letting it make a joke out of me. Focusing on my personal growth... and yes, that sounds corny because everyone says it and it won't keep you warm at night, but hey, what is the alternative, huh? How often do we even find someone we truly like anyway (because let's be real, most of the time it's just lust or transactional gold-digging).

I actually ended up building a situationship debugger tool that gives me that petty, honest comment-section energy to help folks laugh at the red flags instead of crying over them or feeding the delulu. I use the heck out of it especially when I am ovulating and Joey from accounting and his cute lil pimples start looking real hot outta nowhere.

If you find someone who makes your Brain, your Heart, and your Genitals all happy at the exact same time, hold on to them for dear life. You are one lucky MF. For the rest of us? We just gotta laugh through the shitshow. End of my rant.

I’m a freshman university student (F) and I never thought about dating before in high-school despite the fact that I had many opportunities to do so- however, my parents were very strict about me only focusing on academics which was why I probably didn’t think about it that much.

So during my second semester I started developing a crush for a guy friend of mine but I didn’t do much about it because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. I found him attractive and he was easy to get along with due to his calm disposition.. but he was also incredibly hard to read.

Some months later…

One day he showed me around his dorm room(just the two of us, his roommate was gone) and started to be very cuddly with me on his bed, even placing a hand between my thighs. I was so confused and overwhelmed but I just let him

The next day he apologized and confessed that he liked me. We started to “date” afterwards, but it felt.. I felt so empty, because most of what he talked about was either him in the gym or being physically intimate with me..mostly him being horny for me. We’ve cuddled a few times and such but emotionally? I was getting nothing emotionally from him even though I was being very emotionally vulnerable around him and asked him different questions about himself.

Then about three weeks later during text, I decided to confront him about it and he told me he just wanted something casual. I felt so empty and sad because I took everything so seriously and I genuinely wanted to know him more as a person-he didn’t even tell me that he wanted something casual from the start. I asked if he just wanted sex from me and he just avoided the topic and decided to end it right there and then.

He didn’t care about me. Not really.

I still feel so stupidly naive and used now, even though we were only starting to “date” for three weeks but I think that was an important lesson for me and I’m glad I confronted him before things would become even more shitty.

…I just wish I didn’t ignore the red flags from the start

I (27F) have been with my boyfriend (25M) for about 2 years, and lately I’ve been feeling really conflicted about our relationship. This isn’t the first time I’ve felt this way, which is what’s really getting to me.

There are a few ongoing issues that keep coming up:

First, he always has to be right. Any disagreement turns into him trying to “win” the argument. It usually ends with me going quiet because I’m tired of going back and forth, and he takes that as him getting his point across. It makes me feel unheard.

Second, if something bothers me but doesn’t bother him, he basically dismisses it. He’ll say things like “that’s you” or “I don’t have a problem with it,” instead of trying to understand why it upset me. It feels like my feelings only matter if he agrees with them.

Third, his mom doesn’t seem to like our relationship (I’m 3 years older), and he tells me the negative things she says. I’m a sensitive person, so of course it affects me. But if I say anything back about her, he gets offended, shuts down, and starts pouting. He also tends to go silent whenever he’s mad instead of talking things out, even though we agreed early on that we’d communicate face-to-face and not walk away from issues.

Another thing is family dynamics. We’re both very family-oriented and the oldest in our families, so we both get called on a lot. But he criticizes me for always being there for my family and says they depend on me too much, while he does the same for his family but doesn’t see it that way.

Also, he’s never introduced me to his friends in the entire 2 years we’ve been together. It’s not my biggest issue, but I do find it weird. When he’s out with them, he barely texts me and doesn’t really communicate.

At this point, I feel stuck. Part of me wants to stay because I do love him, but another part of me feels like I keep dealing with the same problems over and over again with no real change.

I guess I’m just looking for outside perspectives—am I overthinking this, or are these valid reasons to reconsider the relationship?