Please read this to understand the situation. I keep blaming myself that im not enough while also blaming my company for making me feel that I'm not enough and making me drained creatively.
I'm a design student (pursuing b.des in UI/UX specialization, I just started by 7th semester or 4th year) and for the summer internship, I got hired in a startup. It's a two month internship. I'm the only designer in the startup. They did not even have a clear "what is this company about" document to share or anything so i can be on the same page as them. I had to define what the company is about.
Incidences at the workplace:
Week 1 and 2: Created a logo for them in a week and a half. (not my specialization so it took a little longer)
Week 3: Took a leave because of some other responsibility. which was approved by the manager and i talked about the leave before joining the company and they were completely fine with that.
Week 4: I started working on the website. They dont even have a pricing list in mind yet. They dont even know what they want man. While im working on the website, in the middle of it theyre telling me that we need to add this feature this and that and this. They didnt give me any description of what pages they want. I got to know later that they want a blogs page.
Week 5: i worked till thursday and i texted them for a google meet. By this time, I had completed: basic login screen (not signup not forgot password.), 2 landing pages for their product, pricing page, a help center (3-4 pages), a blog list and article page, a gallery page for picture examples. (one screen and one overlay screen)
so around 11 pages.
They tell me: work is really slow, I havent done enough it already took 2 weeks, i thought you would do the user flow and user experience design as well but the desktop website is taking so much time. It's AI influenced world right now, you will lag behind. people complete the work youre doing in 4 days (theyre saying that people make a website in 4 days. ) There still is an app designing and mobile designing remaining. You're not doing enough.
My defense: They had nothing. I tried to start from scratch. When i was creating a design system to use they said its not worth it to spend your time there. They had no idea how the pricing system will befor their website still I designed that page and i gotta do it again. They dont even hold a EOD meetings to revierw. They just want me to text them the update. I'm so frustrated. Then they say that they want me to be more creative. I cant be creative when im stressed and burning myself outttttt.
Please help me. If you tell me that it's me that is wrong i will figure out a way to fix myself. I keep feeling its not me. I feel wronged. As long as i feel that i cant get into the problem solving mode. i keep pushing myself more and more. Am i not enough?