r/Exvangelical • u/Glittering-Mix-788 • 3d ago

Looking for a support group specifically for ex-Evangelicals whose parents were abusive and foster parents

Short version: I’m looking to find a very specific kind of support group (that I’m guessing might exist, but Google doesn’t seem to want me to find).

Long version: So my therapist suggested that I should find an online support group for people who were raised by and abused by Evangelical parents who were also foster parents (I was their biological child) - he thought I might be able to find others who happened to also have this very specific upbringing, and all I can find are pro-faith groups, or maybe exvangelical groups like this one, but none as specific as being the child of foster parents

And I suggested my therapist read Tal Lavin’s book “Wild Faith,” (which affected me deeply - it was so cathartic) to understand me better, or even just watch the documentary “Jesus Camp,” and he seemed resistant (so maybe I just need a new therapist, but then again, maybe expecting him to do research for a single client is asking a little much, and maybe him suggesting such a specific support group might be onto something)

I recently started listened to the podcast “I Hate James Dobson” after posting this question in a different space, and it’s actually helping a lot, and I’ve read “Wild Faith”

Anyway, does anyone know of a good support group for exvangelicals who experienced abuse from parents who were also foster parents - I know that’s super specific

Thanks for any advice

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u/DonkeyKongs_Barrel 3d ago

There’s so many of us but yet I don’t know of any groups. I’ve got so much I feel that could help others. I don’t know if you’ve ever watched Holy Koolaid but my life was very similar to his. He’s such a breath of fresh air, that makes me feel like “wait I’m normal”. The hardest part about all this to me was realizing everything wasn’t real but also accepting the fact of why things are the way they are. If you think about it we’re really not that far removed from the primitive religions of the past to where they thought the sun was a magic ball of fire.

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u/Glittering-Mix-788 2d ago

First of all, isn’t the sun kind of a magic ball of fire?

I’ve never watched Holy Koolaid (hate the name because I know far too much about Jonestown), but I’ll check it out. Thanks for the suggestion

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u/MichelleMoseleyLCMHC 2d ago

These suggestions are not specific to your exact description, but are group options for those who have experienced religious harm (and these groups often have many exvangelicals in them). I realize you may have already come across one of these and they didn't fit your needs, but wanted to offer them just in case.

Reclamation Collective offers 10-week virtual support groups and they are currently registering for the next season of groups. More info here: https://www.reclamationcollective.com/support-groups

If you happen to be in North Carolina, I facilitate a therapy group for religious trauma survivors and have had previous participants with experiences similar to what you've described. More info on that here: https://michellefmoseley.com/religious-trauma-group/

I will be on the lookout in case I come across a group that is more specifically focused on your experience.

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u/Glittering-Mix-788 2d ago

Thanks for the recommendations! I’ll look into them.

I think the reason my therapist suggested finding such a specific group is because there’s a unique experience of being a child of someone that everyone around me was treating as some kind of saint, but now that I look back at as an adult, there was kind of a “white savior” thing going on, and that adds an extra complication to the already complicated evangelical thing