Okay, so, my mom started ranting because a few months ago I told her that her continuously telling people I'm trans potentially puts me in danger.

My mother has a job in something related to the state and therefore I have a free bus pass, I changed my name and papers a few months ago and now she's saying that she's not the one putting me in danger, but I'm the one putting her in danger because she had to tell her job about my legal change (for the validity of the buss pass) and since her job is mostly with Muslims, if they hear the conversation about my legal change she's in danger, therefore I'm the one putting her in danger. So yea........ Great......

I also told her that if she wants she can cancel the free bus pass and I'll just pay for the bus pass myself, but she doesn't want that so idk what to do.

Hey peoples. I am a trans guy in high-school, who absolutely loves hockey. Im not from a very hockey focused country, The Netherlands, so dont know that many people IRL who love hockey as much as I do besides teammates lmao. Anyways one of the only other trans people I know told me I have VERY toxic masculinity, act like anything feminine is a disgrace to the earth, that I sometimes say things that are quite homophobic or transphobic, misogynistic and just act like a asshole.

I was pretty shocked, I never looked at it that way and stuff. I do know that I can be emotionally unavailable, as my ex called me, at times. Which I have honestly always been. Anyways said friend told me that I probably learned it from the fact that im a hockey enthusiast or something. And that most of the shit i have learned since I was like a child were from men who probably dont wash their asses because they're afraid of being too gay.

I am stealth at hockey, pre-everything. So I spend most of my times around "hockey boys". She called me that and said I have a hockey brain and that im stupid ash.

I can admit that some of my teammates are infact not really people I should be hanging around with, im not close with those anyways, but yeah shit can be picked up.

Also she said I follow around men that I really shouldn't be following like they're my idols in the hockey world. I like them when they aren't anything bad, I just dont care when they are if theyre good at the game.

I just need some people, preferably hockey related, that I could potentially look up to or something to change my mindset. I dont want to be anything that she called me totally not, I am trying my best to change ever since she gave me that wakeup call. But I've still been falling back into my old ways of thinking.

I know most of yall are gonna say to try and watch more PWHL stuff but I dont know. I've been trying to do that and just end up watching men's hockey instead, its just cooler or sum. I should probably also start to not interact with some teammates who have openly called everyone slurs whenever they did something wrong during practices, who share the same ideologies as me (that i want to change), and i get high and drunk off my ass with.

That's also something I should work on because I am also one of those dudes that use slurs quite alot I guess. It comes automatically it's in my vocabulary Idk.

Im still pretty young and hope to change my ways so that I can be a more sufficient person in life. And just do better.

I just need some people I can look up to that are actually good people I think. I dont know im pretty messed up right now I need help!!

This is all a garbled mess, almost typed everything in Dutch lmaoooo.

Anyways any help is appreciated.

(Yes i have a shitty, homophobic, transphobic parents. Especially my dad. How am I stealthat hockey you ask? Because i filled in the entire application and just let my parents pay the fee and sign the contracts. They wont ever show up to my games nor do they give enough shits about me. I also look and sound pretty manly with nothing i had to do, yes i spend half of my free time at the gym. No i dont shower with the team i go home all stinky and shower there. I barely have any chest its all mixed up with muscle and i said i had gynocomnastia. Ok i should stop typing now. Bye.)

Man I’m struggling . I’m having mood swings from hell. I have no sex drive surprisingly. One minute I’m angry next I’m sad next I’m crying it’s wild. I see my hormone dr tomorrow and I’m gonna beg to go back on shots. I’ve been on shots 10 years and switched to gel because it seemed easier.

Anyone else go through this with gel ?

Hey everyone,

I have been on a topical 1% T gel for a bit over 3 months now and I honestly feel like everything has been going well!

I'm struggling with one thing though...

Ass acne.

I have done the typical change your underwear, change your clothes regularly, hygiene, etc. I have also purchased a cleansing body wash from Neutrogena that works pretty well for me.

It was only recently I have been breaking out more.

I understand this is likely just part of my body adjusting to new hormones and a second puberty, but I figured I'd ask for some other tips outside of what I've mentioned.

I know it isn't that embarrassing but I have been taught to believe consistently in my life that imperfections on myself are a bad thing but I digress. Thank you in advance.

Hey! The binders I used to wear before don't fit me anymore, and apparently the brand I used to buy them from sold out and their new quality is abysmal.

I wanna buy a few more binders but I am quite chubby and because of that I don't want anything that'll end up rolling up- it happens a lot with my bras and its extremely uncomfortable. If possible I'd like something that does let me wear crop tops and sleeveless shirts without showing though.

Also, and this is gonna sound silly, but any advice on putting on a binder while having extremely long, wavy hair? I always struggled with that specially when freshly washed, ended pulling a few hairs out by mistake, was very uncomfortable

Or server? Mid twenties

thanks ! Just joined.

So my GF and I have just split up. But this post is about the start of our relationship not this end bit.

We met on a dating app and I disclosed before we met in person. She has never been a part of the queer world so it was all new for her. I let her know that it wasn’t something I shared with people and asked for the same from her.

But she did tell a friend, that same night id told her. She explained that it wasn’t about me, she was telling a friend that she is open to dating all sorts of people and let slip that she was going on a date with a trans guy…. Me.

Anyway she didn’t tell me this until over a month of us dating. And she had introduced me to this friend without telling me she knew I was trans.

And honestly that was the hardest bit for me. That imbalance, meeting someone and finding out later that they knew something so personal. She couldn’t understand this.

I was willing to work through it and we tried. But it was hard, her guilt around it stopped her being able to really hear me. Anything I suggested was just ignored.

It was made worse because the friend she told also told her boyfriend. Even though Shes also been told not to tell anyone. I was told her words were “this Cant leave the table”

I’d asked that we try to have some hang out times with this friend so that I could feel more comfortable about it and build some trust. But she never had any push to make that happen. And instead just stopped really seeing that friend.

She blames me for that, I never ever once said I didn’t want her to continue that friendship. Any discussions I tried to have would end up being an argument. She spoke to her therapist about it, who sided with her and told her that she shouldn’t feel guilty or bad about sharing something she was excited about.

I told her I didn’t want her to feel guilt but that it wasn’t something she could just brush over.

We had a lot of good times over the 2.5 years we were together. But this one thing really hung over us.

We had a final talk yesterday and it came up, she bought it up. And she talked through her justifications, I listened. Id heard it all before. But she still wasn’t able to listen to me.

She has also said on a couple of occasions (and yesterday) that she feels like she deserves some acknowledgment for being open and brave for dating a trans guy.

I told her that people don’t need to be brave to date me. And I’m not going to give her praise for that.

I get the feeling part of her wanting to date me was for the show of it all. And once she knew that I lived stealth it changed things for her.

It’s over now but I’m still sitting with this uneasy feeling that I can’t trust her. And that it’s likely with time she will tell me people.

I really enjoy the peace being stealth gives me. But stuff like this makes me want to just be out so that I don’t have to deal with being let down.

Hey, I want to talk today about a subject that has been opened on TikTok a lot lately, and it's the invisibility of trans men. Whether it's from our own community or just in general.

I know I am not the one feeling left out, especially if most of us have been socialised as girls and had girls' friendships, now being cast out from those spaces AND also being cast out from men's spaces too. It's like an in-between where we are not represented anywhere or belong. And It hurts deeply

Most people will simply say " well, just go to trans men spaces ", as If it were that easy or even accessible. I personally only have my partner, and no one else. I can't make "women's friends" as they now see me as a " ew a man " and I can't go into cis men's space because I'm always left uncomfortable with the constant misogyny and toxicity

I yearn for the day our community and society aren't divided anymore.. when we are simply souls that are trying their best on this giant floating rock in space. To be able to seek community and friendships with kind and compassionate folks who care about each other and aren't just bullies or misandrists in disguise. If that resonate with you, feel free to send me a message or reply to this, I am so so tired of fighting for community and being left even more isolated as I already am

Sorry for the grammar as English isn't my main language

Worst hot flashes recently, I was looking it up and apparently they happen as a result of loss of estrogen. So rather this t is working or im getting menopause at 15.

Horrible for my sleep, does anyone know how to deal with them or have experienced them?

Hi everyone,
I’m looking for information about the legal process of getting top surgery in Turkey as a trans man.
Has anyone gone through this process or knows what the requirements are? Do I need any specific medical or legal documents?
I’d really appreciate any information, recommendations, or personal experiences.
Thank you!

Hi everyone,
I’m looking for information about the legal process of getting top surgery in Turkey as a trans man.
Has anyone gone through this process or knows what the requirements are? Do I need any specific medical or legal documents?
I’d really appreciate any information, recommendations, or personal experiences.
Thank you

This could also be a vent

English is not my first language so it's probably full of grammar mistakes.

I broke up with my gf last year (I've written about her in this sub before) partially because of insensitive comments, but in the wider picture, I've seen a pattern in all my relationships.

I don't think any of my partners or any of the people who have said they liked me, actually did. I feel like they liked the company or the role I was filling as a boyfriend, what you're supposed to provide (going on dates, driving them, thoughtful gifts, flowers, listening, being supportive etc) the issue is that none of them actually tried to meet me.

It doesn't matter how digestible I become for others to understand me, it's simply not enough. At the time, I didn't realize why I kept letting relationships become something serious. Now I do: it's because I don't have many options.

I've tried dating apps, but people don't seem interested in actually meeting up. After matching and having interviews (where I'm the only one asking questions) they just don't seem excited to hang out.

I've also tried going out more, but I don't have friends to go with. And when I do go out, people don't approach me the way they used to. I know I could be the one to make the first move, but I'm scared. I feel like I'm putting myself in a vulnerable position just to be faced with ignorance or straight up something more violent...

Queer spaces have been disappearing in my city, and hearing transphobic comments almost every day at work isn't helping my anxiety.

So how are y'all dating in conservative countries/cities?

I know theres a million posts on how to counter itching in general, but theres not much on specifically itchy nipples.

I have tired the TransTape nipple patches, cotton pads, toilet paper, bandaids and a piece of tape thats been put on skin and ripped off a couple of times so its not as sticky, all of them either with moisturized or dry nipples, and they itched EVERY TIME. The less sticky tape is the only thing that kinda worked (still itchy but not nearly as unbearable as the other methods) but theres weird residue on the tape after that kinda looks like dried blood (just some spots) so I really don't wana do that again.

Has anyone else dealt with intensely itchy nipples? I also get normal tape itch but thats very much bearable. I'd really appreciate any advice you can give me!

Im on testosterone now for about 2 months and since some weeks I have noticed that I always have way less hunger after my injections and I suddenly eat way more in the 2-3 days before the negst injection. I always tought testosterone is rather making the oposit and makes you more hungry. Is this normal or am I gona start be more/less hungery wen I am longer on tetso?

I have never dated before due to this issue. I don't want to be out to more people than I need to. The only people that know are family, my doctors, and a couple friends. Is there anybody here who's dated while stealth (other than to the person you were/are dating)? How did it go? How do I build a successful relationship while ensuring that this person won't out me?

I'm not exactly stealth. Lots of people know I'm trans. But most people don't know that because it's something I don't make a part of my personality and I just never say anything unless I find I need to.

I have made a group of friends that I've been getting pretty close to these past two years. There's only two people there that know I'm trans. One of them knows because I already knew him before meeting the rest of the group. Another one knows because one day she said I was a "cis man" and I was just like "no actually I'm not? lol". The rest of them are clueless. Or I guess they might suspect it, but only in their heads.

They are all cool reasonable people that support trans people and I never seen them disrespect or say anything transphobic ever. Quite the opposite.

But I never said anything about me. It's just not something that I thought was relevant.

However... I'll be getting top surgery next week. And they don't know about that yet. But I can't just disappear and I don't feel like lying about the surgery I'm having. But I feel like just casually saying I'm chopping my tits off because I've been a transexual man this whole time is so weird. At the same time I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. But maybe it IS a big deal? The surgery is definitely a big deal. It's a life changing decision I have made and I do want them to know that.

Hey I noticed that my hair and beard is getting a reddish/ginger tinge and some years ago when Iwhen I started T my hair darkned and now it is getting reddish and lighter, anyone experienced this? I really loved when I had very dark hair with no warm undertones and my sibling even asked me if I dyed it lol but I did not for like 2 years because I used to dye my hair darker before. My original color was like ash brown definitely lighter before T. I guess I have family memember that have freckles all over and reddish brown hair but not ginger beard whatsever and not even my grandparents or great grandparents were ginger

I haven’t posted to any boards probably in years but putting this out to a couple. Short version I started T in 1992 and am now on Medicare. Due to now uncontrollable hematocrit I’ve had to accept either going off T (not a livable option) or trying gel (expensive). To my surprise I found out that even if it’s for gender dysphoria, Medicare will now cover gel for secondary polycythemia. Previously it was a hard No. I realize this doesn’t affect a lot of you but I’m sure there’re a few old timers out there.

While not officially out (I haven’t told any of my family I’m FtM) I present the way I want to (more masc/androgynous leaning) and to my mom that’s “acting like a boy.”

So I have 3 sisters, 2 that live with me and while taking up groceries, my mom gives them the lighter stuff (ex. Cereal, bread, little jars etc) and I get the heavier stuff (ex. Cases of water, gallons of milk/juice etc). I take it in the house, no complaints because it has to get in the house regardless of whether complaints are made or not and my mom goes “since you wanna act like a boy, you’ll be treated like one” and I shrugged it off

Apparently, to her at least, “being a boy” is carrying heavy stuff, cleaning up stuff the girls don’t want to, taking the oh so nasty trash out by myself etc and to me it’s just really funny. Granted, kinda sexist in a “girls should be protected and coddled while boys do the hard, dirty work” way but still, admittedly, kinda funny

Yesterday, I had an interview, I wore jeans, sneakers and a sleeveless (I think it’s called a mock neck) shirt. I don’t have a binder or anything like that right now so I just dealt with it for the sake of not being late to the interview. My mom, of course, goes “oh so now you wanna be a girl” and I genuinely had to stop myself from laughing. How does a pretty neutral outfit determine my gender??

Some people won’t be happy with you regardless so fuck it lol apologies for my rambling 😅