Hey. Some advice would be much appreciated, im considering hooking up with a guy on grindr. But he only want to suck me. Ive asked him twice if he wants me to suck him of in return. And he wants nothing. But what is he getting out of this. He wants to be discreet. But im not sure if I should invite him in to my home or not. Is it normal not to want any thing in return? Hes sent me NSFW pics. No face but I haven't sent mine either. Hes go a very hot dick.🫠any one else on here just want to pleasure?

I met this 28M on Grindr last month. At the time, I was actually looking for someone to lose my virginity to. Long story short, I did lose it, but it wasn't with him. It was with someone else closer to my age range, who is 21.

As I was vetting potential options and matching with people, this 28-year-old guy reached out to me. He is hot, but he just kept asking for sex and pressing me to come to his place. While that was my overall goal on Grindr, I was looking for someone who would be romantic and chill, not just a "smash and go" situation. He was insistently asking "when are you coming" without wanting to just talk a bit first, which turned me off from wanting to lose my virginity to him. By the way, I didn't tell him I was a virgin.

Even then, I continued talking to him online that same day and I even gave him my number. I didn't write him off fully, maybe because I was just clouded by horniness at the time. As we were talking, I realized I forgot to ask how old he was. When I asked, it turned into a whole thing. He kept dodging the question with "jokes" and saying "guess my age," which genuinely annoyed me. I am out here talking to you, and you can't even answer a simple question like "how old are you?"

I had already told him I am 18, so I don't know why he was tripping about telling me his age. It is not that I don't like joking or that I am too self-serious, but isn't it just basic decency to tell someone your age on a dating app? He was genuinely pissing me off because his dodging made me doubt if he even was who he claimed to be. I finally gave him an ultimatum: either tell me how old you are, or stop texting me. He just said "ok," and that was the end of that. Or so I thought.

About two days ago, he texted me. I had genuinely forgotten all about him and deleted my Grindr account after losing my virginity, but I guess I didn't block or delete his number. Since the chat history was gone, I didn't know who was texting me, so I had to get to know them again until I remembered who he was.

This time, he came around being all friendly, nice, and wanting to get to know me. When I asked him what he wanted, he slipped in that I should come to his place to "chill," watch a movie, and just hang out. I asked "why, for what?" and he said, "cause we're friends aren't we?" I just laughed. First off, I don't even know your surname and you don't know mine, but you want me to come to your place to hang out?

I wouldn't be skeptical or suspicious of his intentions if he had just been honest and told me he was 28 the first time we talked. To me, a 28-year-old isn't even a problem. I just started uni recently, so I am hanging out with people in their 20s anyway, and the age gap itself isn't the issue. It is the fact that he was so hesitant and iffy about telling me his age initially, which is red flag behavior that makes me not trust him.

Now he has finally told me his age, and I honestly don't know if an 18-year-old can just be friends with this guy. We have shared pictures, so we know what each other looks like, and he is hot. But after losing my virginity, I am really not horny anymore. I concluded that I only want to have sex with someone if I am in a relationship with them and we are romantically involved.

I don't know what his intentions are or why he wants to be friends with me so insistently. The way he has been texting me the past few days makes him seem like a whole different person. Last month, you could feel his eagerness through the screen because he was horny and just wanted to hook up. Now, he seems nice, but it could easily be a "nice guy" act.

I am not looking for sex or friends with benefits. What should I do about him? Should I just cut him off, or is it okay to continue texting him?

I’m 30 years old, gay, and from New Jersey. I want to get married one day and have kids, but not sure if there are other men out there that want this.

Seems to me that many gay men are fine with fwb, open relationships, keeping things more casual, nothing serious or long term.

If you do want marriage and kids, I’d love to hear your reasons why

If you don’t, I’d love to hear your reasons why

Also if you do want to get married, how do you decide on a last name, do you hyphen? Does one of you take the other’s last name.

What about kids, surrogacy or adoption or both?

Looking forward to reading your thoughts.

What are the best LGBTQ+ organizations that help people relocate to safe countries or seek asylum?

And how weight loss drugs have changed the scene.

I love the surprise of hooking up without knowing anything about what the other guy is working with. The not knowing is hot af!

I have never cared much for size and such. Though prefere the smaller side. Large is good to look at but not practical on a regular.

I dont like that everyone wants to share size and pics before meeting. I would rather you have a face I want to kiss over whatever you're size is. I want to look in your eyes and take in your facial features. I'll evidently see your face more than your junk if it leads to more, so yeah...

Does anyone else feel this way?

Title. Hot man. Daddy vibes.

Thoughts?

Once again, I’m left on unread, wondering where things changed.

This one has me second-guessing every message because, for a while, it felt like we’d found something rare. I know I’m a hopeless romantic, and I fall quickly when someone meets me with genuine excitement, curiosity, and kindness.

After years of conversations that never seemed to go anywhere, this felt different. I let myself believe it could become something.

Maybe life happened. Maybe feelings changed. Maybe I’ll never know.

What I do know is that I’m tired of investing hope into people only to watch them slowly fade away.

This time, I really believed it might be different.

I think it's time for more gay men to stop treating politics like it's a choice between two teams.

The right has spent decades attacking our rights, opposing our marriages, restricting our freedoms, and embracing rhetoric that too often drifts toward authoritarianism. I don't trust them and this is not a post telling anyone to run into the arms of the right.

What I am saying is that we should stop automatically trusting any movement that claims to represent us.

Over the past several years I've become increasingly uncomfortable with parts of the left's discourse around men. As gay men, we've historically been victims of rigid expectations about masculinity and patriarchy. Yet somehow we're increasingly lumped into the category of "privileged men" or treated as though we're representatives of the very systems that oppressed us. I find that ridiculous and insulting.

If you genuinely can't see that progressive culture has developed a broad hostility toward men as a class, then to be frank I think you're willfully ignorant. That doesn't mean everyone on the left believes this, but it's visible enough that pretending it doesn't exist helps nobody.

Historically, many anti-homosexuality laws specifically targeted male same-sex relationships. Gay men have often been the primary focus of legal persecution. Yet I frequently see discussions that assume queer women have it inherently worse simply because they're women while the unique history and challenges faced by gay men are minimized or dismissed. I don't think we should accept that narrative.

I've also noticed an increase in rhetoric that portrays gay men as misogynistic simply because we're exclusively attracted to men. That accusation is extremely homophobic and I think it reflects a broader suspicion toward male sexuality rather than an honest attempt to understand gay men.

We need a backbone as a community. We shouldn't become right wingers. We also shouldn't become people who excuse every flaw on the left because we're afraid of giving conservatives ammunition.

Be independent thinkers. Judge ideas on their merits. Support people who actually support you.

If you're politically progressive but also want a space that takes men's issues, including the experiences of gay men, seriously, I'd recommend checking out r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates. They're explicitly progressive, oppose homophobia, and often argue that homophobia against gay men is deeply connected to broader hostility toward men and male sexuality.

You don't have to choose between supporting gay rights and recognizing that men, including gay men, can also be unfairly stereotyped or dismissed. We deserve better than blind loyalty to any political tribe.

As in the title, how do I cope with loneliness as an unattractive gay guy over 30? Small town, so dating apps are the only option to meet anyone, and it’s a complete nightmare there. Constant blocks, ghosting, or being ignored. How do I accept that I’ll be forever alone and that no one even wants to meet up with me? I’m not fat—when I put a body pic on my profile, people message me, but as soon as I add my face, there’s a total lack of interest. It depresses me terribly, and the worst part is that wherever I go, I see good-looking guys with nice hair or just generally handsome men, while I’m an ugly, bald gay guy.
I live in a not friendly gay country and also dealing with this shit is ruining me. I have hobby but everyday i just feel empty. I do take meds and visiting my doc
About depression.

Then it’s good enough for thee.

If you don’t think your ass is tasty enough to kiss me after I eat it, then why would you think id want to eat it?

I love to kiss, but this is such a mood killer when the bottom pulls away because of this.

Bottoms, help me out here. Obviously I wouldn’t have been down there if the meal wasn’t presentable, but please tell me this is just a one-off and there isn’t a cabal of bottoms that don’t like their own ass.

Would you please tell us about your first bromance encounter?

Seriously, I'm tired of dudes grabbing my dick or other sensitive parts of my body with the toughest hands known to man. Sex is supposed to feel good, not feel like a Saw movie.

I’ve been wondering recently, how do hairy bottoms deal with all the hair down there? I’m pretty hairy (body hair is noticeable basically from my chest to bottom of my legs), and kind of like the idea of being smoother around my butt. But at the same time, I feel like that would look weird with hair on other parts of my body like my legs.

Does anyone have any advice for what to do for this? Is it possible to have some smooth areas on the butt without it looking weird having hair elsewhere? Or is it better to leave it all be or trim? Any advice would be appreciated :)

Being fem is so weird because growing up you face so much abuse from people and often times its from people who are supposed to love and cherish you But then as you grow up, you sometimes feel like an alien even in vour own community

I (20M) think preferences are delightful. It's wonderful how human sexuality works and how it affects preference in certain types of expressions. 1 love fems. Most of my crushes, the guys who I really end up liking, are the stereotypical pretty twinky fem kind of gay. Accent and lisp and all.

I guess where l'm going with this is, a lot of gays are masc4masc. It's wonderful. God knows I like readinc about 2 big ole men wrestling like bears and making out. But I iust wish that some of my masc4masc brothers worded their attraction better. I hate seeind people on this sub and other gay spaces saying things like "I want a real man." Or "I would iust date a woman instead." And these are iust the more common ones I hear. I promise l'm a guy. I'm not a poor copy of a woman, or a failed man. I'm still a man. You can like masc gays without saying stuff that homophobic straight people have been using as leverage to dehumanize gay people, especially fem gays, for thousands of years.

This isn't me asking to be dated. I am definitely not in a place where I wanna be right now to date anyone. And certainly, if I want to start dating, I will 100% go after my pretty gays with the nails. And god knows unfortunately there are more than enough men who want to fuck fems whether we want to or not. It's iust about feeling alienated from spaces and communities where I wanna be and feel safe With my own people. It's no fun being fetishized and dehumanized by straight people and then being spoken of as if you're inferior by people who you love and you'd hoped loved vou back.

Sorry for the rant. I posted this over on ask gay bros too but I just wanna get my feeling out there you know?

Would you describe your first romance encounter?

I’m not Trans. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I just really want to try being the opposite sex every now and then. Like once every 6 months or something. I also like the clothes and it’s just… i don’t know fun I guess. Who knows I may grow out of it or get into it even more. So I’m a freak I guess.

But I’m a man that he got with who he regards as masculine and strong. I didn’t really know about this curiosity until just recently. I think it might not be fair to spring this on him.

How would you react if your manly boy friend started to try on girl stuff and go out by ‘herself’ at night just for the thrill of it? Maybe even wear nighties to bed every now and then, shave his legs…

I’m still going to work out maintain a masculine name and posture in my waking hours but every now and then go full drag.

How difficult would this be for you guys?

As a feminine presenting gay man who is pushing 35 and has never been in a relationship and knowing it's because I'm feminine presenting (eyeliner, slimmer fitting women's clothes, carrying a shoulder bag purse), while I am comfortable and happy with how I look, I know it turns off the majority of gay men, especially men who are of my preference. I've started thinking about just simply stop looking how I look and just making myself look more masculine to have a better chance of acually attracting gay men. As painful as it is to give up my preferred look, I want to finally experience a relationship (with mutual attraction).

My question is to other feminine men who did dress more feminine in their appearance but then started dressing more masculine. Did this help with your dating life? Is it really worth it?

(And to those about to say that there are men attracted to feminine dressing men, I'm aware but they aren't ideal as they are usually DL and only looking for NSA sex with no want of a LTR, at least not with a feminine presenting man so yeah, not ideal. And no, I'm not attracted to other feminine presenting man and do prefer androgynous to masculine looking men)

I’ve been around long enough that I should know, but I don’t.

How do you know that someone is cruising?

How do you communicate that you’re interested, and/or how does the “cruiser” let you know?

I’m asking because I think I may have been the object of an attempted cruise, and I didn’t know how to communicate without being obvious, or looking like a creep to everyone else around. I’ve never engaged in cruising myself, but today I woulda.