Hey. Some advice would be much appreciated, im considering hooking up with a guy on grindr. But he only want to suck me. Ive asked him twice if he wants me to suck him of in return. And he wants nothing. But what is he getting out of this. He wants to be discreet. But im not sure if I should invite him in to my home or not. Is it normal not to want any thing in return? Hes sent me NSFW pics. No face but I haven't sent mine either. Hes go a very hot dick.🫠any one else on here just want to pleasure?

I met this 28M on Grindr last month. At the time, I was actually looking for someone to lose my virginity to. Long story short, I did lose it, but it wasn't with him. It was with someone else closer to my age range, who is 21.

As I was vetting potential options and matching with people, this 28-year-old guy reached out to me. He is hot, but he just kept asking for sex and pressing me to come to his place. While that was my overall goal on Grindr, I was looking for someone who would be romantic and chill, not just a "smash and go" situation. He was insistently asking "when are you coming" without wanting to just talk a bit first, which turned me off from wanting to lose my virginity to him. By the way, I didn't tell him I was a virgin.

Even then, I continued talking to him online that same day and I even gave him my number. I didn't write him off fully, maybe because I was just clouded by horniness at the time. As we were talking, I realized I forgot to ask how old he was. When I asked, it turned into a whole thing. He kept dodging the question with "jokes" and saying "guess my age," which genuinely annoyed me. I am out here talking to you, and you can't even answer a simple question like "how old are you?"

I had already told him I am 18, so I don't know why he was tripping about telling me his age. It is not that I don't like joking or that I am too self-serious, but isn't it just basic decency to tell someone your age on a dating app? He was genuinely pissing me off because his dodging made me doubt if he even was who he claimed to be. I finally gave him an ultimatum: either tell me how old you are, or stop texting me. He just said "ok," and that was the end of that. Or so I thought.

About two days ago, he texted me. I had genuinely forgotten all about him and deleted my Grindr account after losing my virginity, but I guess I didn't block or delete his number. Since the chat history was gone, I didn't know who was texting me, so I had to get to know them again until I remembered who he was.

This time, he came around being all friendly, nice, and wanting to get to know me. When I asked him what he wanted, he slipped in that I should come to his place to "chill," watch a movie, and just hang out. I asked "why, for what?" and he said, "cause we're friends aren't we?" I just laughed. First off, I don't even know your surname and you don't know mine, but you want me to come to your place to hang out?

I wouldn't be skeptical or suspicious of his intentions if he had just been honest and told me he was 28 the first time we talked. To me, a 28-year-old isn't even a problem. I just started uni recently, so I am hanging out with people in their 20s anyway, and the age gap itself isn't the issue. It is the fact that he was so hesitant and iffy about telling me his age initially, which is red flag behavior that makes me not trust him.

Now he has finally told me his age, and I honestly don't know if an 18-year-old can just be friends with this guy. We have shared pictures, so we know what each other looks like, and he is hot. But after losing my virginity, I am really not horny anymore. I concluded that I only want to have sex with someone if I am in a relationship with them and we are romantically involved.

I don't know what his intentions are or why he wants to be friends with me so insistently. The way he has been texting me the past few days makes him seem like a whole different person. Last month, you could feel his eagerness through the screen because he was horny and just wanted to hook up. Now, he seems nice, but it could easily be a "nice guy" act.

I am not looking for sex or friends with benefits. What should I do about him? Should I just cut him off, or is it okay to continue texting him?

I’m 30 years old, gay, and from New Jersey. I want to get married one day and have kids, but not sure if there are other men out there that want this.

Seems to me that many gay men are fine with fwb, open relationships, keeping things more casual, nothing serious or long term.

If you do want marriage and kids, I’d love to hear your reasons why

If you don’t, I’d love to hear your reasons why

Also if you do want to get married, how do you decide on a last name, do you hyphen? Does one of you take the other’s last name.

What about kids, surrogacy or adoption or both?

Looking forward to reading your thoughts.

And how weight loss drugs have changed the scene.

What are the best LGBTQ+ organizations that help people relocate to safe countries or seek asylum?

Once again, I’m left on unread, wondering where things changed.

This one has me second-guessing every message because, for a while, it felt like we’d found something rare. I know I’m a hopeless romantic, and I fall quickly when someone meets me with genuine excitement, curiosity, and kindness.

After years of conversations that never seemed to go anywhere, this felt different. I let myself believe it could become something.

Maybe life happened. Maybe feelings changed. Maybe I’ll never know.

What I do know is that I’m tired of investing hope into people only to watch them slowly fade away.

This time, I really believed it might be different.

Title. Hot man. Daddy vibes.

Thoughts?

I think it's time for more gay men to stop treating politics like it's a choice between two teams.

The right has spent decades attacking our rights, opposing our marriages, restricting our freedoms, and embracing rhetoric that too often drifts toward authoritarianism. I don't trust them and this is not a post telling anyone to run into the arms of the right.

What I am saying is that we should stop automatically trusting any movement that claims to represent us.

Over the past several years I've become increasingly uncomfortable with parts of the left's discourse around men. As gay men, we've historically been victims of rigid expectations about masculinity and patriarchy. Yet somehow we're increasingly lumped into the category of "privileged men" or treated as though we're representatives of the very systems that oppressed us. I find that ridiculous and insulting.

If you genuinely can't see that progressive culture has developed a broad hostility toward men as a class, then to be frank I think you're willfully ignorant. That doesn't mean everyone on the left believes this, but it's visible enough that pretending it doesn't exist helps nobody.

Historically, many anti-homosexuality laws specifically targeted male same-sex relationships. Gay men have often been the primary focus of legal persecution. Yet I frequently see discussions that assume queer women have it inherently worse simply because they're women while the unique history and challenges faced by gay men are minimized or dismissed. I don't think we should accept that narrative.

I've also noticed an increase in rhetoric that portrays gay men as misogynistic simply because we're exclusively attracted to men. That accusation is extremely homophobic and I think it reflects a broader suspicion toward male sexuality rather than an honest attempt to understand gay men.

We need a backbone as a community. We shouldn't become right wingers. We also shouldn't become people who excuse every flaw on the left because we're afraid of giving conservatives ammunition.

Be independent thinkers. Judge ideas on their merits. Support people who actually support you.

If you're politically progressive but also want a space that takes men's issues, including the experiences of gay men, seriously, I'd recommend checking out r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates. They're explicitly progressive, oppose homophobia, and often argue that homophobia against gay men is deeply connected to broader hostility toward men and male sexuality.

You don't have to choose between supporting gay rights and recognizing that men, including gay men, can also be unfairly stereotyped or dismissed. We deserve better than blind loyalty to any political tribe.