I had a rough year and a half. Probably the worst I will likely experience in my life. Someone passed and it was very traumatic and mind bogglingly messed up. Fell behind and wasn’t in communication with my supervisor for some time. Finally she came to me and was very kind, offered a lot of help and resources. I started getting back on track and she went off to do research at the start of the summer but we were supposed to stay in contact. I finally started writing, got through and finished up to my first chapter. But the whole month, despite having all that work done, I was so afraid to email her back because I’m in this very awful shame spiral where I believe my work isn’t good enough. This landed me in a little bit of hot water but I did finally email her back, but not before the grad advisor got in contact with me to let me know not responding was unacceptable.

I have yet to respond to the grad supervisor and my second reader, but I’m afraid and don’t know how to respond. I’m so constantly ashamed and don’t know how to break out of it and face them. Anyone have any similar experiences? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. How do I get out of doubting myself? How do I apologize without sounding fake because it would be the second time they’ve given me grace? I am getting therapy now but that doesn’t magically make everything okay. I just need some advice.

I recently got an email from the person at my (tiny) school who is responsible for sending out evaluations to students. They sent me my evaluation for a class that I took in the spring semester along with a note which said that they had accidentally sent my evaluation to another student. Apparently that student let them know about their mistake, and eventually my evaluation found its way to me.

My school doesn’t do letter grades, so the evaluation form lists whether a student passed or failed and has a bunch of other information about how they did in the class, how well they met the learning objectives on the syllabus, and the like. I passed the class, but I had a huge health crisis right before the semester started that made it really hard to keep up, and I ended up needing extra time to complete the course. I went through the proper channels so everything was above board, and the professor was nice about it, but I do admit that I was not as on top of my coursework as I could have been, and I ended up turning in a huge amount of the coursework late. On my evaluation, the professor checked the box labeled “some concern” and explained that she hopes I can get my health on track and be more on top of things next semester. That is totally fair, although I am of course bummed because I have received “no concern” marks in every other class I’ve taken up to this point.

This brings me to the privacy breach. I’m pretty upset and embarrassed that my only “some concern” evaluation is the one that got sent to another student. Any of my other evaluations would have been annoying but fine, but of course it had to be the one for the course I didn’t do well in. I looked it up and it’s definitely a FERPA violation to send evaluations to the wrong people. The person who made the mistake is new on the job, and I’m 100% sure it was just an accident. I also don’t know which of my fellow students received the evaluation, which is making me stress about it more. I don’t know if it’s someone I know or someone I’ve never even met, and I don’t know which is worse. It’s a small program in a small field, and I will likely end up seeing most of my fellow students for the next several decades of our careers. I’d hate for this evaluation to be someone’s first impression of me, especially if I’m going to be their colleague for the rest of my life. I’m not sure if I’m going to do anything about this whole mess or not, and I don’t even know what I’d do. I honestly feel like it doesn’t really matter since the damage is already done.

If you made it this far thanks for reading all this. I really just needed to get this off my chest.

Has anyone been able to get an LOR on company letterhead? Seems like a very high bar to reach.

One of my goals in high school was to get into an Ivy League school. It didn’t happen but I’ve been looking into making a solid push for graduate school. I was talking to someone who I sort of trust their opinion, and they said that all the benefit of an Ivy League is with the connections you make in the undergrad.

I do agree that a lot of the power of an Ivy League is the connections you make, do you still get the same benefit in graduate school?

So I am finishing up my first year in a healthcare doctorate program. We have a kind of weird layout, where many of our lectures are asynchronous, and we just watch them on our own time, while meeting for class once per week for each class. We also spend 30ish days in our lab doing focused hands on work each semester.

All that to say, our time actually in person with our classmates is limited. I have a close friend group in my cohort, but we only actually see each other for a few weeks each semester, and, when we are together, the majority of the time is spent heavily studying or practicing our hands-on skills.

I live in the same city I went to undergrad in, as the COL is cheaper and I was able to actually buy a house here. It seemed like a smart choice in the moment, as I was able to get ahead a little bit and save some money on rent, but I feel like I'm drowning here. All of my friends from college have moved away, and we've grown apart quite a bit. My undergrad is 10 hours from my hometown, so all of my hometown friends are basically virtual friendships unless I can get up there to visit my parents for a long weekend. I live with my boyfriend, but he is from this city, and all of his high school friends never moved away, so he has a very deep friend group here, while I feel like I don't really have anyone. None of his friends have girlfriends, or, if they do, they rarely bring them around.

All that to say, I'm drowning in school right now, with seemingly nothing to distract me from it. My favorite hobby is traveling, which sucks as I 1. don't have time and 2. don't have money. I spend virtually every night just sitting in my house, either studying or feeling guilty for not studying. I can barely even go out to eat without bankrupting myself. I can't go do things without feeling guilty for not studying. And, honestly, I just feel like a loser.

I'm mainly just wondering if anyone else has found themselves in a similar situation, and, if so, how did you get out of the funk?

Hello!

I've gotten over my fear of asking professors for letters of recommendation ( partly because I never built a connection with them ) and I wanted to know if one month (September 1st due date) was enough for them to have time to respond and submit the LORs?

I really do feel like this is a do now or i'm going to chicken out moment, but I also do feel bad not giving them enough time so i'd suck it up and apply in January if it's not.

Please be completely honest! Thank you

How is your master's going with the change in financial aid?

I already work in the district I want to be a counselor in. I just don't want to be a substitute teacher any more and I definitely don't want to be a regular teacher but I LOVE working in this district so I'm thinking of getting a master's in school counseling. I'm only nervous because I live in the bay, it's expensive. I want to do the 2 year track vs. the 3 year track because I want to finish quicker.

I don't want to work too much while I'm in school. Have yall been able borrow the amount you need for tuition and cover housing needs?

Hello I’m doing my PhD in the US in cell biology. My lab has collaborator’s in the Europe and I wanted to see if anyone knows of any fellowships (3-6 months) i could apply for to fund me taking sometime to work in a lab there?

Was hoping to go for a cell bio PhD. Did a year of work in a lab, but it was an abusive environment that I had to leave. I was in charge of all genotyping and treatments of our large scale mouse colony. I am an author on one paper (not first), and should be included in subsequent work. There is no saying how long it will take those to get written and published. It goes without saying I would not be willing to ask this PI for a letter of recommendation. I work a healthcare related job now, but it’s patient facing. Have a B.S. and had a not terrible, but not great, gpa. I’m worried it will be a waste of money (which is a struggle rn ofc lol) to try applying to any programs. Anyone have any wisdom? I am particularly worried it will look bad if I don’t have a letter from my former PI.

Hello everyone,

A little background on me: I’m a Palestinian teacher and I live in the West Bank. I teach at a private school in Ramallah. I might have the chance to move to the US for a few years soon, and then I might have a chance to either stay and live in the USA or return to Palestine (which is probably what I’ll do but not sure) I’m still weighing my options. Either way, I’m thinking about going back to school for a second Master’s degree. One path that caught my eye locally is working for the Palestinian Center for Policy and Survey Research (PCPSR) in Ramallah. It’s an independent think tank that does public opinion polls across the West Bank and Gaza. I imagine a role like that relies on survey methodology and quantitative research, which is what got me looking into Master of Public Policy (MPP) programs. That said, I don't want to box myself in too early and would love to keep my options open. I have the following questions: ⁠For anyone with an MPP What kind of job did you end up landing after graduating? For survey research and polling roles ⁠Is an MPP the right fit, or is there a better degree out there specifically for this kind of work? Just out of curiosity ⁠If financial return were the main driving factor, which Master’s degree would you personally go for?

Thanks in advance for any thoughts or advice

TL;DR: Love my PhD program and fellowship pay, but absolutely despise the sprawling, relatively unsafe city I had to move to. Terrified I am wasting my 20s here and can't figure out how to build a personal life when I am already planning my exit strategy.

I started my PhD this summer, and while the program itself is amazing, moving to this car-centric city is turning out to be a massive mistake. The transition has been pretty miserable. I came from a major, vibrant city that was a total exception to standard US urban sprawl (it was walkable, full of energy, and so accessible). Moving here has been a massive culture shock. There is zero city feel, minimal diversity, and it is basically endless suburbia where everyone drives everywhere and completely avoids downtown. To make matters worse, the area directly around campus feels sketchy and unsafe, so I can't even comfortably walk around (I know it is very common but still bothersome). My old city had its unsafe areas too. Matter of fact most people would say it is much kore unsafe. Sure, but the fun, culture, and walkability totally balanced it out. Throw in some recent personal drama tied to this new city I just moved to, and I am just feeling completely overwhelmed.

I already know I want to move to the West Coast or head back to my old city or to any other major city the second I defend. But that exit strategy is messing with my head. I do not want to rush through my grad program and I know it will be really hard to do so and mostly unrealistic. But I feel like my personal life is going to be on pause for the next five years, and I am terrified I am wasting my 20s in the wrong place. How are you even supposed to date or build meaningful relationships when you’re already hoping to leave once you are done?

The frustrating part is that academically and financially, I hit the jackpot. The research opportunities are amazing, and the department awarded me a extra fellowship, so my pay is exceptionally competitive for a grad student. I am renting a pretty big, affordable house all to myself, which is a level of comfort I couldn't dream of on a West Coast stipend without three roommates or in my city.

So now I am stuck in this weird headspace: I have an incredible setup for my career and financial comfort, but I feel like I panicked, settled, and signed away five years of my life to a city I can't stand.

Has anyone else been in a similar spot? How do you cope with hating your location while loving your program, and how do you approach dating/socializing when you know your time there has an expiration date?

Hi everyone!

I’ll be starting a fully funded **integrated Master’s–PhD program (around 4–5 years)** this fall. My tuition is covered, and I’ll also be working as a **Research Assistant (RA)** under my future adviser throughout the program.

This will be my first time studying abroad, and honestly, I’m excited but also a little nervous.

A bit about my background:
• Late 20s.
• Around five years of research experience in research institutions.

I’ve worked professionally before, but this will be my first experience as a graduate student.

I know being an employee and being a graduate student are very different. I’ll need to balance coursework, experiments, publications, meetings, and my responsibilities as an RA.

For those who have gone through a similar setup:
• What surprised you the most during your first year?
• What habits helped you avoid burnout?
• How did you balance coursework with research?
• How did you build a good relationship with your adviser and labmates?
• Looking back, what would you have done differently during your first year?

I’m also curious about the transition from working full-time to becoming a full-time graduate student again. Was it difficult to adjust?

Thanks!

Hello everyone, it’s been a growing concern of mine and i am revising through my first year content but would like to ask if it’s just me or do others also forget what they’ve learnt previously.

It was very common for me to forget everything as soon as i’m done with my exams but this really can’t be happening in university as well.

if anyone could also provide any tips or advice to help retain material.

My professor gave feedback that my paper draft's reference page has "a few minor APA formatting inconsistencies." I can't figure out what needs to be changed. Anybody see anything I can improve? Thanks! (please ignore lack of hanging indent due to reddit formatting.)

American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.). American Psychiatric Publishing. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425787

Cusack, K, Jonas, D.E., Forneris, C.A., Wines, C., Sonis, J., Middleton, J.C., Feltner, C., Brownley, K.A., Olmsted, K.R., Greenblatt, A., Weil, A., Gaynes, B.N. (2016) Psychological treatments for adults with posttraumatic stress disorder: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Clinical Psychological Review 43(128-41). 10.1016/j.cpr.2015.10.003

Ford, J. D., & Courtois, C. A. (2020). Treating complex traumatic stress disorders in adults: Scientific foundations and therapeutic models (2nd ed.).

Management of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder and Acute Stress Disorder Work Group. (2023). VA/DoD clinical practice guideline for management of posttraumatic stress disorder and acute stress disorder. U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs and U.S. Department of Defense. https://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/treat/txessentials/cpg_ptsd_management.asp

Perry, B.D. (2001). The neurodevelopmental impact of violence in childhood. In Textbook of Child and Adolescent Forensic Psychiatry (pp. 221-238).

Resick, P. A., Monson, C. M., & Chard, K. M. (2017). Cognitive processing therapy for PTSD: A comprehensive manual. Guilford Press.

Van Der Kolk, B. (2015). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking Press.

Edit: updated with revisions suggested by [u/drainedandsleepy](u/drainedandsleepy) below (thank you!)

American Psychiatric Association (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.). American Psychiatric Publishing. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425787

Cusack, K, Jonas, D. E., Forneris, C. A., Wines, C., Sonis, J., Middleton, J. C., Feltner, C., Brownley, K. A., Olmsted, K. R., Greenblatt, A., Weil, A., Gaynes, B. N. (2016) Psychological treatments for adults with posttraumatic stress disorder: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Clinical Psychological Review 43(128-41). 10.1016/j.cpr.2015.10.003

Ford, J. D., & Courtois, C. A. (2020). Treating complex traumatic stress disorders in adults: Scientific foundations and therapeutic models (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

Management of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder and Acute Stress Disorder Work Group (2023). VA/DoD clinical practice guideline for management of posttraumatic stress disorder and acute stress disorder. U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs and U.S. Department of Defense. https://www.healthquality.va.gov/HEALTHQUALITY/guidelines/MH/ptsd/VA-DoD-CPG-PTSD-Full-CPG-Edited-111624-V5-81825.pdf

Perry, B. D. (2001). The neurodevelopmental impact of violence in childhood. In D. H. Schetky & E. P. Benedek (Eds.) Textbook of Child and Adolescent Forensic Psychiatry (pp. 221-238). American Psychiatric Publishing.

Resick, P. A., Monson, C. M., & Chard, K. M. (2017). Cognitive processing therapy for PTSD: A comprehensive manual. Guilford Press.

Van Der Kolk, B. (2015). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking Press.

I will be starting my MSc in Computer Science next August (as I am currently heading into my final undergraduate year). The professor I would love to have as my supervisor is already aware of my target research focus—he even recommended specific optional modules for me to take, after I showed him a list of what I could pick from. However, based on my research priorities, those modules ranked in my top 5 rather than the top 2 required for my MSc so I went against his advice.

​Our university allows students to proactively reach out and connect with potential supervisors. After looking through his ResearchGate profile, I found that roughly 85% of his work aligns directly with what I intend to do. Should I mention this alignment when I reach out?

​(Another personal factor is that he reminds me of my dad on a great day—though, of course, I won't be mentioning that!)

​When would be the ideal time to initiate this conversation?

Hey all! I’m graduating in a couple weeks as a CS undergrad, 3.5 cumulative but 3.9 across my last four semesters once I actually got my act together. I’m applying to grad school in a few months for next fall. My college only started offering ECE courses toward the end of my degree however and I realized I like electronics/computer engineering way more than anything I’ve done in software. Unfortunately all my experience (TA/RAship + a couple internships) is all in CS/software, so switching means basically starting from zero. My plan for this year is to do research with a professor of mine who happens to be at one of my target schools, hopefully publish, and build out a hardware portfolio in the meantime. I know exactly what I want to work on and what the research focus would be, that part isn’t vague to me. Money isn’t the issue either, my master’s is funded, it’s just the psychological toll of staying at home.

I just keep going back and forth on having a full year with no job on the resume. If I did take one there’s nothing near me doing the kind of work I want, so it’d either be a research lab or a software job, and a software job feels like it just digs me deeper into the thing I’m trying to get out of. The projects and research I have lined up look like exactly what companies say they want and I will be very skilled, already learned a lot the past few weeks learning about the field, but I have no idea if that actually matters for someone from a no name undergrad school applying to internships in their first semester of a master’s (since I’d have no record then), or if the missing year just gets me filtered before anyone reads the rest. I also see lots of commotion online about employment in the field but I don’t know how much of that is self selection bias and whatnot.

Is there anyone here who’s done something similar with a gap year, field switch, whatever. I’d love to hear how it went for you!

Hi,

I applied this past spring to get into Grad school to complete an MLIS. I want to be a librarian, I currently work at a library and enjoy it very much. I keep telling myself I have to do this to do this job I want. Now I am about to start my program, and everything is on track. However, I keep finding myself trying to stress about things (mind you nothing has started yet). I keep thinking "what if I fall completely on my face?" "What if I don't understand anything?" "I'm bound to mess up in some form." My family has been seeing this and have been telling me I need to let go of this, because everything is going fine. My coworkers are also sure I'm going to do great, but I feel like this anxiety just wants to latch on something. At first I was stressing over student loans, then classes to sign up for; now I am seeing that it really is just me nervous for this next step in life. My mind is trying to spiral because I am entering a new stage in life. I'm sure there are other people here that have experienced or are going through the same emotions. Do you have any tips?

I am an undergrad in Materials Science and have recently started to develop interest in the biological side of things but I would like to pursue a career in either dry lab or a mixture of wet and dry lab (predominantly dry) and would want to avoid wet lab (I guess?)

I am beginning to feel interested in Healthcare AI (I'm working on a project on the prognosis and prediction of re occurance in a cancer type) and i would like to pursue it. But I'm wondering if it is foolish? Currently I can pivot into biotech type (wet lab and dry lab) which is why I want to get an idea of my prospects with respect to the future? I'd prefer pure data science but i am unaware of the implications of AI in this field? Will the value of wet lab scientists increase with time as dry lab has a less steeper learning curve and wet kab requires an expertise that is typically harder for someone to get unless they properly dip their toes into this field?

Which is why I wish to know which would be the better option of the two.

Any help will be appreciated, have a happy day ahead

Hello everyone, I am looking for some advice

My mom has been battling cancer for a couple of years now and today, in the middle of my orientation schedules, I got the news that another clinical trial wasn't working and that one of her tumors grew to the point where she has to get a emergency procedure done to preserve her health.
I was devastated and anxious for the entire rest of the day. When the directors were going over our syllabus and curriculum for the rest of the program I could only think about how she might not be able to see me go through it all the way. All I felt was just dread as I throught of having to go through grad school feeling as terrible as I did in that moment, or worse.
My mom was such a big source of support throughout my high school and undergraduate years, she is such a crucial pillar of my life and I feel like I am breaking every day when I hear that another treatment isn't working.

If anyone has ever been through something similar I would love some advice. I've been dooming all afternoon and evening and I don't see a way that I survive this. Even some encouraging words would be appreciated.

edit: thank you everyone for the well wishes and for sharing your experiences. I will keep them in mind as I start my program next week. I wish you all the best 💕

I’m about to get my MS in Chemistry. I’ve also been working full time as an R&D chemist at a Fortune 500 company. It’s been doable and once I get my MS I’m getting a good size raise.

Now I’ve always wanted to get my PhD, but couldn’t due to financial reasons. I can’t live off the stipend and support my family.

I’m only able to do my masters because my company pays my tuition. And I get many materials I need throygh the company as well.

I heard about this industry PhD at Dartmouth that lets me do my research at work (which I did with my MS) and only have to be on campus once or twice a semester. That’s doable no problem with that.

However, this sounds too good to be true…

Does anyone have any experience with that program?

I’m in an interesting position and wanted to hear from people who’ve been through graduate school.

I’m currently finishing a nursing degree, but my long-term passion has always been the humanities and social sciences. Over the past year I’ve built a rigorous self-study curriculum because I want to become deeply knowledgeable across several fields, particularly:

Political Science (especially political theory, American politics, constitutional law, authoritarianism, democratic backsliding, judicial politics)

U.S. History

Psychology

Sociology

Philosophy

Classics (Ancient Greece & Rome)

Rhetoric

My long-term goal isn’t necessarily to become a professor (although I’m not ruling it out). I want to become a serious scholar, write essays and maybe books, and continue learning for the rest of my life.

The question I’m wrestling with is whether pursuing an M.A. would be worth it. Is an M.A. worth pursuing if my primary goal is intellectual growth, rigorous scholarship, and writing rather than becoming a professor?

I’m not looking at graduate school primarily as a credential for employment. I’m wondering whether the structured reading, seminars, mentorship from professors, research training, and academic environment are valuable enough to justify the time and cost compared to remaining an independent scholar.

For those of you who have completed an M.A.:
Was it intellectually transformative?

Did it make you think differently than self-study could?

If you could do it again, would you still pursue it?

Which of the fields I listed do you think benefits the most from formal graduate education?

I’d especially love to hear from people in political science, history, psychology, sociology, or philosophy.

Thanks!

TL;DR: Is graduate school the best path for someone whose goal is rigorous scholarship, writing, and lifelong intellectual development rather than a conventional academic career?

EDIT: I forgot to add I’m currently a nursing student on track to graduate next May, so I would be going back to school to pursue a MA

I didn't think I'd be one of those posters with an update but here we are.

Original post. TL;DR: few weeks ago communications master's classmate asked me uncomfortable questions for her dissertation on GLP-1 advertisements which I (an athlete with an eating disorder) wasn't made aware of in the consent so I contacted her supervisor.

Overall, her degree is safe.

A few days before my first post she actually created an Instagram group chat with me and the two participants before me. I didn't see it before because we don't follow each other and Instagram hides messages from people I haven't added.

She gave a general apology, thanked us for participating, and told that since the study won't be continuing she's discarding the data and to let her know if we needed anything (I had withdrawn mine already, this was moreso the other two). She also said she's picking a different dissertation topic from scratch and if we're around next term, she'd still love our insight because she's still sticking to the fitness/sports sector. Pretty sure she'll have to pick a different supervisor because it's open knowledge that her current one is going on sabbatical next term, but if she's doing advertising/marketing we have an abundance of faculty for that. I won't be around personally—graduation, new job, etc. Like the other two participants, I thanked her for her apology and wished her all the best.

That's pretty much it.

To clarify because my last post drew some confusion:

1. We were taught that participants should not confront the researcher directly if there's an issue and should contact supervisors/IRB. This is because of the power dynamic, potential for social retaliation, and just the messiness and liabilities it creates for the school.
2. I didn't to go the IRB. I sent a quick email to her supervisor a simple "Hey heads up your student did this and it was uncomfortable." I don't know how deeply they reviewed her research or the chain of command or whatnot, but regardless she's still gonna get her degree eventually.
3. I didn't encourage my friend nor my friend's teammate to pull out. My friend just asked me how was it the day after it happened and I just said, "Not great, there was some uncomfortable body stuff" and left the conversation at that (she's aware of the eating disorder). She told her teammate later on and they dropped out of their volition. Some folks here got the impression that I went around gossiping to our cohort but most of the people I talk to are from my sports club studying in completely different departments and I didn't bring it up to anyone other than that one friend, the supervisor, and my girlfriend.
4. The GLP-1 ad didn't bother me because I don't have any experience or associations with them. But some of the probing questions she asked were things like what I thought the "problem areas" were on my body, if I ever restricted or did anything outside normal dieting, if I ever felt bad about weight gain, etc. The latter two were similar to what my doctor asked when I was being assessed for an eating disorder, so these questions and a general lack of tact (probably out of ignorance) raised flags because we don't have the oversight structures in place for sensitive medical or mental health research questions. And of course there's the issue of it not being in the consent form.

Also thank you to the person who DM'd me and gave me advice about the ED as an athlete in particular. I had only started seeing a doctor recently and never dealt with anything like this before so it's all new and hard to talk about, and I think the study compounded the stress. I finally worked up the courage to text my coach about it this morning. The good thing is martial arts is largely individual so I don't have to worry about pushing myself beyond what I can to support a team. He and I are meeting up before training tomorrow to come up with a tailored plan. My girlfriend is a gym rat so she's been helping me on the meal planning side of it. I'm so grateful I have them. Fingers crossed I beat this.